Girls weekend away

jogoldie · Jun 30, 2015

Im trying to understand if you are going to the beach with women.....or a cruise with people (other then your friend) that
you dont know.....if its the beach thing.....then there is other things for him here to do......if he has a brother or friend
he can bring.......the biking here in florida is great fun.....(you mentioned he likes biking)......so while you go to the beach
...he can bike the coast.....or

do what he likes.....golf .....tennis....whatever he wants.....cause it kind of sounds like your wanting time away from him.....
and who wants to stay home and take care of kids and everything........while your cruising on a boat....kinda mean and selfish.... the reason he probably doesn't like you being around your friends ......cause he is left out....gotta compromise.....you can vacation together....romantic dinners and walks at night....and during they day you each do your own thing.......plenty of time for all......peace..jo

mailmandan · Jun 30, 2015

My wife and her lady friends from work spend a weekend together in a condo at the lake once a year and I don't have a problem with it. They mostly go shopping. LOL! I trust my wife. I don't see anything wrong with a girls weekend away (unless the girls cannot be trusted). My wife's friends did recently invite her to go on a cruise for a week this summer, but my wife thought that was too long to be away from me. Bless her heart! I thought the same thing.

Rosesrock · Jun 30, 2015

hw78 said:

The statement about being controlled and wanting slack bothers me the most. If you have this attitude you need to plan a vacation with your husband and make him feel secure enough to want you to enjoy yourself. Hey i get downtime. My hub goes camping every Oct and i love that trip for him. Mostly because he comes home renewed and destressed. It's not the trip i question, it's your heart attitude and 'get out' desire im looking at.
Sounds like here you want release from the life you have.

atwhatcost · Jun 30, 2015

mailmandan said:

Is that condo 10 hours away? Something tells me 10 hour drive to and then 10 hour drive back isn't equaling just a Saturday and Sunday weekend.

mailmandan · Jun 30, 2015

atwhatcost said:

It's actually just a 2-3 hour drive. They leave Friday afternoon (right after work) and get back home on Sunday afternoon.

SpecialK70 · Jun 30, 2015

In my opinion, there is a girls weekend and then there's a "girls weekend". One can be visiting her at her home, hanging out, catching up, shopping, and rekindling the friendship that has probably lost its closeness due to the distance. But then there's a girls weekend of drinking, getting dressed up and bar hopping, and potentially finding trouble.
I guess if I were your husband and you were wanting to do the first innocent girls weekend, then I'd say go for it. But if your intention is a crazy, wild weekend, then I don't blame him for not wanting you to go.

hw78 · Jun 30, 2015

I love this chats! I am new here and just love all the feedback and perspectives from everyone.
It's not only the trip to the ocean with my gf and her bf...it was to go visit her when she had cancer. I love my husband very much but I think he does social anxiety or something. I wish he would let loose and be himself. He definitely is a different person when in a small group compared to a larger group. I just initiated a group bike ride with a group of couples that I know. My husband loves to go biking and so I signed us up. Hopefully he will go with me and mingle and make new friends.
And it's not only the trip to the ocean with my gfs. I wanted to go meet a different godly gf for coffee to talk about life issues (the devil does some strange stuff to me and tells me to leave my husband, that I can find someone better) I just needed some godly girl advice. I don't really want a divorce bc I know the grass is NOT greener on the other side. I am attracted to my husband, we are intimate and we have a good friendship. I just need some space sometimes and I need my friends sometime and he just doesn't understand that I need my friends for advice and just plain old fun in my life.

RickyZ · Jun 30, 2015

Elysian said:

What do you mean by...''you go of with the girls and decide if you want to come back''?are you advocating this lady should leave her husband?,aren't you jumping the gun a little?.
From what I have gathered there is a strong prospect the husband is suffering from social anxiety and if that is the case there needs to be understanding.
Personally I do not believe a wife or husband should go off gallivanting especially if the spouse is uncomfortable with it.

In marriage comes great responsibilities and having said this it is also up to the husband to try and accommodate his wife even if it is going to put him out a little.I am sure they can find a way where they both can participate and he feels comfortable.

I guess you missed the tie-in from the quoted post.

hw78 · Jun 30, 2015

Just a small note as well. I was baptized when I was 18, got married to my husband when I was 20. He was not Christian. I wanted so badly to have us go to church but knew he didn't 'believe' so I didn't push him to go. Well back in Sept, I needed guidance on my marriage and so I needed a higher power for help. I turned to God. I went to church. I told him I need to go to church to help me...he decided to go to church. He has been kind of strange, he kind of has had a narcissistic attitude all his life, not a very good quality in a husband, I know. But I loved him and still do. But he has been strange like growing his beard out and says that ungodly men cut their beards (per the bible.) He reads the bible all the time. I am more spiritual and love when the holy spirit lives within me. He still acts like he is better than others and even says he is better than others. He won't go to a pastor with me or a counselor to talk to someone. He says we can do this by ourselves. I don't know about that.

atwhatcost · Jun 30, 2015

hw78 said:

Yes, it was noticeable that you didn't use the word "love" when describing your relationship with your hubby. It's not like that never happens in a marriage, but there is a way to bring that feeling back that doesn't necessarily require anything back from him. God can give that back to you.

Well, yes, of course prayer is involved. But as you pray that you grow to love him again, put in the effort to love him again. Do for him what you used to do out of love and remember why you loved him. He's basically the same guy with a little graying (maybe. If he's lucky. Sometimes the hair leaves the top of the head on guys to land in ears, noses, neck, and back. lol) And then watch. He'll notice -- eventually -- and will remember why he loves you too. That love can return.

Added bonus: When you talk to your gf, you don't have to waste time talking about what's wrong with your marriage. You can waste time talking about other stuff. Hopefully, fun stuff.

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Girls weekend away

jogoldie

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mailmandan

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Rosesrock

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atwhatcost

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mailmandan

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SpecialK70

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hw78

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RickyZ

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hw78

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atwhatcost

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