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M
Dearest Lady,
First, I applaud your desire to stand firm in your convictions. As a single male, i know (only too well)
the constant struggle of having to survive in a world where ,at every turn, we are bombarded by intense temptation. As males are visually stimulated,and the media (spirit of the world) is all too ready to exploit
our weaknesses, there few places we can go where we're not faced with the "in your face advertising"
that is strategically positioned at check-out counters, on sitcoms, and in the way some women dress in
public.
The family unit is God's greatest way of showing us the best way to live in His word. As such, every since satan's eviction from heaven, he has done everything in his power to destroy the family.
If your husband wants you to dress in a way that"turns him on" in public, you might ask him why he wants you to turn other guys on like you do him.
I sincerely hope i'm wrong, but it appears to me that he may be dealing with a problem of temptation himself. If this is the case, dressing in an inappropriate way to please his perceived need to flaunt his greatest conquest(you), would do much more longterm damage to your relationship than it would do any good. If you dress like all the rest of the woman, who are looking for attention to fulfill a need that they think they have, you will only prove to feed his prideful ungodly needs, thus becoming an enabler,not to mention all the unwanted & ungodly attention you'll be bringing on yourself.
Although it may take quite awhile, i strongly feel that if you stick to your Spirit led decission to dress in a way that you are comfortable with, this phase will pass, and your relationship will become stronger and more able to endure this and many other trials that are sure to come along.
If he is dealing with the spirit of lust(like the vast majority of men in this world) it might be a good idea for you to not leave the comp. room for long periods while he is online. If you find that he has gone to "skinsites" please don't react in anger immediately. Wait til another time when you're both calm and he is more apt to hear you, then you should calmly explain how it makes you feel when he goes to those sites or if he looks longingly at other women. When he goes awhile without sewing to the spirit of lust, you might want to reward him by maybe, as a surprise for him, buying a "hot" little neglegie & showing him the benefits of keeping that stuff in the home where it belongs.
God has placed him as the head of your household. If you have children who,like most children, want to be "just like daddy", your husband's weaknesses will become worse on the kids than they are on him. If you've not already done so, it would be extremely beneficial to you both for you to listen to Dr James Dodson at www. focusonthefamily.com or .org. There are several other ministries that deal with this and other problems that are intent on destroying the family unit. I'll definately be praying for you both on this one.
First, I applaud your desire to stand firm in your convictions. As a single male, i know (only too well)
the constant struggle of having to survive in a world where ,at every turn, we are bombarded by intense temptation. As males are visually stimulated,and the media (spirit of the world) is all too ready to exploit
our weaknesses, there few places we can go where we're not faced with the "in your face advertising"
that is strategically positioned at check-out counters, on sitcoms, and in the way some women dress in
public.
The family unit is God's greatest way of showing us the best way to live in His word. As such, every since satan's eviction from heaven, he has done everything in his power to destroy the family.
If your husband wants you to dress in a way that"turns him on" in public, you might ask him why he wants you to turn other guys on like you do him.
I sincerely hope i'm wrong, but it appears to me that he may be dealing with a problem of temptation himself. If this is the case, dressing in an inappropriate way to please his perceived need to flaunt his greatest conquest(you), would do much more longterm damage to your relationship than it would do any good. If you dress like all the rest of the woman, who are looking for attention to fulfill a need that they think they have, you will only prove to feed his prideful ungodly needs, thus becoming an enabler,not to mention all the unwanted & ungodly attention you'll be bringing on yourself.
Although it may take quite awhile, i strongly feel that if you stick to your Spirit led decission to dress in a way that you are comfortable with, this phase will pass, and your relationship will become stronger and more able to endure this and many other trials that are sure to come along.
If he is dealing with the spirit of lust(like the vast majority of men in this world) it might be a good idea for you to not leave the comp. room for long periods while he is online. If you find that he has gone to "skinsites" please don't react in anger immediately. Wait til another time when you're both calm and he is more apt to hear you, then you should calmly explain how it makes you feel when he goes to those sites or if he looks longingly at other women. When he goes awhile without sewing to the spirit of lust, you might want to reward him by maybe, as a surprise for him, buying a "hot" little neglegie & showing him the benefits of keeping that stuff in the home where it belongs.
God has placed him as the head of your household. If you have children who,like most children, want to be "just like daddy", your husband's weaknesses will become worse on the kids than they are on him. If you've not already done so, it would be extremely beneficial to you both for you to listen to Dr James Dodson at www. focusonthefamily.com or .org. There are several other ministries that deal with this and other problems that are intent on destroying the family unit. I'll definately be praying for you both on this one.
B
I am a man getting up in the years, I always look at too revealing clothing as wrong. I even feel shame when I see a lady dressed revealling to much. Cleavage shown by a woman in my view is telling some one you are a loose person loosed morals.
I have felt a spirit of lust on me numerous times and at those times was when their was one around revealing more than what I think as right.
The lust of the eyes is a real hard problem for most men to deal with. Satan attacks whenever however he can. NOw I am not saying he has a spirit of lust but once one has made its way around a person long enough the person may never know that that is the problem. As a matter of factly the devil will even put thoughts into your head that it is only you , so he evades the issue of one discovering what is happening.
One needs to seek ans. from God and hear every advice he can get but put their faith only in God interpreting to you what he would have you to adhere to.is.
I have felt a spirit of lust on me numerous times and at those times was when their was one around revealing more than what I think as right.
The lust of the eyes is a real hard problem for most men to deal with. Satan attacks whenever however he can. NOw I am not saying he has a spirit of lust but once one has made its way around a person long enough the person may never know that that is the problem. As a matter of factly the devil will even put thoughts into your head that it is only you , so he evades the issue of one discovering what is happening.
One needs to seek ans. from God and hear every advice he can get but put their faith only in God interpreting to you what he would have you to adhere to.is.
S
Precious Sister,
Please PM me, there are some things here as you stated, that we should talk about concerning your hubby.........I am praying and there are some things in my spirit that are not adding up here......
So if you can, when you have time send me a private message to discuss this.....
SeekinHIM
Please PM me, there are some things here as you stated, that we should talk about concerning your hubby.........I am praying and there are some things in my spirit that are not adding up here......
So if you can, when you have time send me a private message to discuss this.....
SeekinHIM
B
While I do not agree with commenting on other women as you are saying he does, you have to realize a mans need for intimacy. He has a need to do that kinda thing. Of course not walking around in public like that, but around home etc. Married life has to have excitement, fun to it. And this can add to that. My pastor just spoke about this on sunday. "4 flames of a red hot marriage". If you want to know more about what was taught, let me know! 
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S
Dear Brother, (become the generation)
THIS IS TOTALLY WRONG OF YOU TO SAY THIS.................THIS MAN IS SERIOUSLY VIOLATING THIS WOMAN BEFORE GOD.......PERIOD.....
I AM PRAYING THAT THE LORD IS MERCIFUL ON THIS MAN FOR DOING THIS TO HIS WIFE............THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A MAN'S
INTIMACY................THIS IS LUST OF THE EYE STRAIGHT UP...................PERIOD!!!
Now the home life issues are fine before the LORD. The marriage bed is undefiled. This is true, but that' not what is happening here.....and you are joining him in his sin, by justifying his behavior.............
P.S. Please excuse me IRAASUUP for discussing these most delicate issues of your marriage on here like this, with this man BECOME THE
GENERATION......I JUST CAN'T STAND THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR AND FATHER IS NOT PLEASED WITH THESE VIEWS OF HIS PRECIOUS
DAUGHTERS.......WHEN EVE WAS CREATED, THIS WAS THE CROWNING OF ALL CREATION...............ALL THE ANGELS BEFORE HIS HOLY
THRONE ARE STILL IN AWE OF THIS MOST MIRACULOUS EVENT...........AND I WILL NOT HEAR OF SOMEONE DOING THIS.....PLEASE FORGIVE ME,
MY SPIRIT IS FURIOUS NOW, BECAUSE I KNOW THE LORD IS FURIOUS FOR THIS KIND OF TREATMENT OF HIS DAUGHTERS.........IT LEADS TO
DESTRUCTION, OF HIS MOST HOLY UNION...............THE MARRIAGE................WHICH, IS A REPRESENTATION OF JESUS CHRIST AND HIS BRIDE,
THE BEAUTIFULLY ADORNED PURE WHITE (HOLY, SANCTIFIED CHURCH) BRIDE, THAT HE IS ABOUT TO MARRY..............
SeekinHIM
THIS IS TOTALLY WRONG OF YOU TO SAY THIS.................THIS MAN IS SERIOUSLY VIOLATING THIS WOMAN BEFORE GOD.......PERIOD.....
I AM PRAYING THAT THE LORD IS MERCIFUL ON THIS MAN FOR DOING THIS TO HIS WIFE............THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A MAN'S
INTIMACY................THIS IS LUST OF THE EYE STRAIGHT UP...................PERIOD!!!
Now the home life issues are fine before the LORD. The marriage bed is undefiled. This is true, but that' not what is happening here.....and you are joining him in his sin, by justifying his behavior.............
P.S. Please excuse me IRAASUUP for discussing these most delicate issues of your marriage on here like this, with this man BECOME THE
GENERATION......I JUST CAN'T STAND THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR AND FATHER IS NOT PLEASED WITH THESE VIEWS OF HIS PRECIOUS
DAUGHTERS.......WHEN EVE WAS CREATED, THIS WAS THE CROWNING OF ALL CREATION...............ALL THE ANGELS BEFORE HIS HOLY
THRONE ARE STILL IN AWE OF THIS MOST MIRACULOUS EVENT...........AND I WILL NOT HEAR OF SOMEONE DOING THIS.....PLEASE FORGIVE ME,
MY SPIRIT IS FURIOUS NOW, BECAUSE I KNOW THE LORD IS FURIOUS FOR THIS KIND OF TREATMENT OF HIS DAUGHTERS.........IT LEADS TO
DESTRUCTION, OF HIS MOST HOLY UNION...............THE MARRIAGE................WHICH, IS A REPRESENTATION OF JESUS CHRIST AND HIS BRIDE,
THE BEAUTIFULLY ADORNED PURE WHITE (HOLY, SANCTIFIED CHURCH) BRIDE, THAT HE IS ABOUT TO MARRY..............
SeekinHIM
M
yea, its a toughy. let him know that when he implies you are not perfect "for better or for worse" it hurts you. and just tell him u love him but that its just not you to be like that. some girls are comfortable in a turtle neck. some girls are comfortable in porn star clothes. the point is above all be yourself. be true to who you are. And if he's having...."sexual issues." with you then I'm sure u guys can work that out privately if u get my drift christians are creative people right?
hope i didnt go too doctor phil.
-Adam
christians are creative people right?hope i didnt go too doctor phil.
-Adam
V
I didn't read many responses since many are Walls of text, but Imma keep it short.
Some guys are like that, but I'd barely call it normal, and definitely not Godly. From my experience, many guys will like a girl who dresses in skimpy clothing, but once he has her he will want her to become more modest and save what she's got for him. Your situation is completely backwards from "normal" behavior. I myself like modest clothing and prefer her to stay modest =P
He doesn't put your clothes on for you... So wear what you like, and what is within God's will- modest clothing ^_^
Some guys are like that, but I'd barely call it normal, and definitely not Godly. From my experience, many guys will like a girl who dresses in skimpy clothing, but once he has her he will want her to become more modest and save what she's got for him. Your situation is completely backwards from "normal" behavior. I myself like modest clothing and prefer her to stay modest =P
He doesn't put your clothes on for you... So wear what you like, and what is within God's will- modest clothing ^_^
I
He hasn't really said much recently. I have indirectly addressed the issue with him, and although he understands how I feel, he claims it makes no sense to him.
I guess that's better than nothing. He seems to be okay with the clothes I wear in public, although he has openly told me he would be much happier if I lost some weight.
I guess that's better than nothing. He seems to be okay with the clothes I wear in public, although he has openly told me he would be much happier if I lost some weight.
I can understand his point of view, and yet I believe it is not justifiable. I've been married for 15 years and I remember wanting my wife to dress differently than she chose to dress - it was immature on my part. I realized that I was trying to change her and I holding her responsible for my feelings - as if it was her job to manage my attraction to her.
The fact is, it is his job to manage his attraction to you. It is also his job to manage his attraction to other women - even if they dress in a manner that is pleasing to him. I think conservative churches do a real disservice to men and women in this area. Men are told to turn off their sexuality until they are married - until their wives will manage their feelings and take care of all their sexual needs. And if you do happen to get turned on to blame the nearest under-dressed women. Women are told that they are responsible for how men view them - both before they are married and with their husbands.
Husbands need to grew up and women need to be themselves.
On a side note, my wife and I were watching the pilot to the old WonderWomen TV series the other day, and when the story moved to the island where wonderwomen is from - I noticed that all the women were lounging around in delicate, billowy lingerie. It was then that I knew men were the writers of the series - if it were women writers - the actresses would all be in comfortable flannel.
Life is short, be comfortable!
A word of caution though - don't make this a moral issue - it is really just a maturity issue.
The fact is, it is his job to manage his attraction to you. It is also his job to manage his attraction to other women - even if they dress in a manner that is pleasing to him. I think conservative churches do a real disservice to men and women in this area. Men are told to turn off their sexuality until they are married - until their wives will manage their feelings and take care of all their sexual needs. And if you do happen to get turned on to blame the nearest under-dressed women. Women are told that they are responsible for how men view them - both before they are married and with their husbands.
Husbands need to grew up and women need to be themselves.
On a side note, my wife and I were watching the pilot to the old WonderWomen TV series the other day, and when the story moved to the island where wonderwomen is from - I noticed that all the women were lounging around in delicate, billowy lingerie. It was then that I knew men were the writers of the series - if it were women writers - the actresses would all be in comfortable flannel.
Life is short, be comfortable!
A word of caution though - don't make this a moral issue - it is really just a maturity issue.
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