Having some family problems.

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lookwhatthelordhasdone

lookwhatthelordhasdone

Senior Member
#1
Oct 11, 2012
1,026
10
38
#1
So, I've been taking care of my grandmother for a while and things are starting to get a little crazy.

My aunt rhonda passed away about 3 years ago and she was wealthy, leaving money for her brothers and sisters. The majority of her money went to my grandmother because she wanted to make sure she would be taken care of since she has quite a few health problems. My aunt tina and uncle mark are the beneficiaries over the money and it's tearing our family apart.

They had made promises in the beginning to my mother to get her to quit her job and move states. Providing a steady income for the hours she works, all bills included with her stay, and to split up the hours evenly so no one gets burnt out. Now they're withdrawing from the promises they made. There is no help from my uncle or aunt and they're leaving us to take care of gran, my mom 13 hours a day and myself 11. It seems we're being left to hang up high and dry. I can understand to a point because they have taken care of Gran for 13 years, because she had bad heath problems and they didn't think my mom would come so they could stick her in a nursing home. Now that she's here though they're doing everything they can it is so we'll get fed up and they can put my Gran in a nursing home and get on with their lives. If mom were to stay, they would have to give her the money since they are not involved with Gran anymore.

I swear money is the ROOT OF ALL EVIL! I really don't know how to approach the situation, or help my mother, since I'm the only one on her side. How do you deal with people like this? Ugh, I don't know what to do. Help!
 
S

Spenney7

Guest
#2
#2
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this, Maggie.I wish I could help, but the only advise I really have is to pray about it and thank God because you know he will get you through this. I will pray for you as well.

God bless,
Austin
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
Firstly, money is not the root of all evil. The correct statement is THE LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Big difference.
Second, sadly, it seems that whenever someone wealthy dies, there so often seems to be battles over whats left behind. Many times these issues end up in legal battles. There's not much you can do, it seems as though your aunt and uncle are very selfish, and very determined and will lie and manipulate to get what they want with a disregard for anyone else. I am not a lawyer, so don't know of any advice legally. All i know of is you just seem stuck with the situation the way it is.
Sorry you and your mother are going through this, i hope you can find a way to work this out favorably and quickly.
 
C

chuinchoy

Guest
#4
#4
I considered it a blessing to look after or to take care my parent or my grand-parent simply because in doing so you are a filial daughter/son which the Lord delights in. Furthermore, under 6th of 10 commandments "" Honor your father and your mother, so that you may LIVE LONG in the land the Lord your God is giving you Exodus 20:12.
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#5
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#5
Would 'assisted living' be an option for her? You might want to talk to a lawyer about her finances . Sorry you and your mom are going through this....it's so hard when a loved one needs such care. Praying for guidance and strength for you all.
 
O

oracle2world

Guest
#6
#6
Probate brings out the worst. Just FYI.
 
Jon4TheCross

Jon4TheCross

Senior Member
#7
Oct 19, 2012
1,864
7
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#7
There is a place for the elderly and widows and orphans, and it is with the common wealth of God and His children. There is such a place, but right now I only know of one place doing this, but I do hope and believe there are other groups united in this purpose. I am a part of a place in Harrison, ID, where we allow brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus to dwell on the same property helping each other and growing in fruitfulness daily. This place is the closest to the example of Acts chapter 2 (the whole chapter including the last of the chapter) that I personally have found, and I've been looking and praying for such a place for a few years. It's interesting that I found this place after God enabled and accomplished in me a 40 day fast in solitude out in the middle of the woods, and it was the highlight of my experience with God so far, but a new highlight is on the way I'm sure. Anyhow, I figured I would make the option available for you to consider. I'm sure you may have some questions after you read Acts 2, so feel free to send me a message. It's my priviledge to let you know that the unity of the body of Christ does exist as it did in the days of the first love and first works of the gospel. You and I are of the everlasting priesthood, and our only eternal inheritance is the measure of God we are given to hold. So, at least something to think about. We give God all the glory, and my prayers are for you as well my sister.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#8
#8
Probate matters do, indeed, show true colors.

If you mean that your grandmother's share is in trust for her and your aunt and uncle are the trustees, they have a fiduciary responsibility to her. If your grandmother is not being cared for properly by them and is unable to care for herself, your mom might want to consider talking with an attorney about becoming her legal guardian if your aunt and uncle are not willing to care for her. If you are concerned about legal fees, you could ask the attorney over the phone before you meet with him or her whether the legal fees could be paid from your grandmother's funds since the services are for her benefit. You might not even have to go through with it. Just talking with an attorney can sometimes be enough to wake up people who aren't doing what they should be. I pray it doesn't come to any of that though.

God sees the loving care you and your mother are giving your grandmother, regardless of what the other family members are doing. I pray that you and your mother can set a godly example for them and that God will bring healing to your family in every way.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#9
#9
P.S. - There are also caregiver contracts that set out guidelines for a family member who is willing to care for another family member that set out responsibilities and compensation. I don't think they are very expensive for an attorney to prepare. I've seen them be very helpful in such situations.
 
lookwhatthelordhasdone

lookwhatthelordhasdone

Senior Member
#10
Oct 11, 2012
1,026
10
38
#10
Thank you guys so much for all of your advice and prayers. I know things will get better with God. Just gotta stay strong and keep my chin up!
 
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