Hello, want to share my struggles

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Dec 25, 2021
10
4
3
#1
I'm new to this and just wanted to be in fellowship with other believers. I am a young adult and there is no young adult group at church so I honestly feel lonely. Everyone is either older than me or younger. I need to be around people my age and it's hard. I even took up a new job where I thought I would be able to meet new people and socialize a bit. The problem is, this job does inquire alot of socialization with my coworkers and there are people close to my age but they aren't Christian and can be bad influences. I am not partying or drinking like they do together sometimes but I just like to be friends with them because I want friends. Only I feel like I am being influenced in my walk with God. Like I said, I am not partying drinking or anything but I am being tempted to date nonbelievers and it's hard. I'm a young adult and I crave community. I don't really have friends at church but have been so desperate for social interaction I am scared to leave my job. I don't want to be lonely with no friends again. Please help. Any Bible Verses or wisdom you feel led to share? I really need you family of Christ.
 

Seeker47

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2018
534
506
93
#2
Hello JLM23 and welcome to CC. I'm not exactly a young adult but wish to support you anyway. Hold true to your beliefs and reject those influences which tempt you. You are stronger than they are. Hard as it may seem, be a light of truth to others by your faith and actions. Always be gentle with yourself, God has a plan and He has you where He wants you to be. You are on His schedule, not yours. Trust Him.

You are in my prayers.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
38,191
14,812
113
67
Tennessee
#3
Loneliness is a hard thing to deal with. We are all family here and it is nice of you to join us. I pray that this site is as much a blessing to you as it has for me. Looking forward to getting to know you through your posts. Welcome to CC.
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
1,495
1,125
113
#4
I don't generally suggest church hopping but have you considered finding another church with a broader age range of people?
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,921
1,256
113
#5
Welcome, JLM!

Our youngest is in high school, so i'm not that young, you see. Not very sociable either, there was a time i thought i'd never have new friends again, esp when i was 'stuck' at home w/ my newborn again, not able to pursue career/my dreams=). But like financial needs, the Lord provides friends-- and (church) family, that while i sometimes felt a stranger at the church we moved to some 10 yrs ago, am letting myself be the friend of most any age now looking for friends. Glad i had (much) older friends before (some very young too) but when they pass away.. God showed we could get new friends again, online, offline-- and theyre all a blessing!
 
Dec 17, 2021
32
27
18
#6
Hi! Welcome to CC! I’m sorry you are facing this struggle right now. It is very important for a Christian to be part of a community, but they must be part of a Christian community that follows Biblical principles and encourages living a godly lifestyle.

Unfortunately, when a Christian befriends and hangs out with nonbelievers (outside of the context of only sharing the gospel with them/work/school/etc.) the Christian can be influenced to participate in sin and an ungodly lifestyle displeasing to god with the nonbelievers. The temptations will only continue to grow and the likelihood of sinning increases.

Here is a hypothetical example, say you continue having friendships with these non believers who are already influencing you to date a non believer. Say you start dating the nonbeliever and continue to hang out with the nonbelievers. Soon you will be tempted and encouraged/peer pressured to do the sins that most non believers do: sex outside of marriage, drinking, smoking, partying, participating in other spiritual practices, etc. You could wind up having children out of wedlock with a nonbeliever, and even marrying that nonbeliever, and possible divorce down the road. (Marriage and children with a nonbeliever is a whole different issue by itself!) Eventually, after living such a sinful lifestyle and leading an ungodly lifestyle with unbelievers, you may lose all faith and become an unbeliever yourself after persuasion from the unbelievers. You could even wind up in legal trouble from drinking/partying/possible drug usage. Death is also a possibility with sins like drinking/partying/drug use.

You could potentially end up leading a sinful and miserable life by choosing the wrong community to fellowship with and to encourage you. Unfortunately, many more people are turning away from God every year, or turning to false gods and idols. It is getting much harder to find a community of Christians and a Christian spouse in 2021, and it will only continue to get worse..This means it will take us more time to find the right people to commune with. However, we have the advantage of the internet where we can search for and reach out to communities of Christians to join where we live and online (Like CC!)

I think a good idea would be to search online for churches close to you and contact/email the church leaders to see if they have members your age. Also, there is nothing wrong with having friends that are older than you. In fact, older friends can be a blessing because they are much wiser and have more life experience that they can share with you.

And sorry for the length of my reply….my replies tend to be long, but I hope it is helpful. I hope that you find a community of believers to be a part of and fellowship with very soon! And don’t forget, the members of CC are here to fellowship with you as well! I also included a few verses from The Bible that speak on having relationships with nonbelievers.



1 COR 15:33 “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’”

PROV 14:7 “Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.”

PSALM 26:4-5 “I do not sit with men of falsehood, nor do I consort with hypocrites. 5 I hate the assembly of evildoers, and I will not sit with the wicked.”

PSALM 1:1-4 “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away.”

2 COR. 6:14-18 “ Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, ‘I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, 18 and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.‘”
1 COR. 5:11 “But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one.”
 
Dec 25, 2021
10
4
3
#7
I don't generally suggest church hopping but have you considered finding another church with a broader age range of people?
I have but just haven't acted on it. I think I may take your advice and go for it. I need Christian community
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
1,827
1,308
113
#8
I understand exactly how you feel. During my many years at my church, I only really "clicked" with two people however one left town and the other is older than me. Many times I went to church and felt lonely, especially if they were not there. I am planning to church hop soon until I find the right church that has singles around my age and not too political. If you want Christian community, the church is basically the only option. Depending on your age, you can also try online dating to find a fellow Christian (however, don't pressure yourself on this).
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,530
2,701
113
#9
A lot of people don't like the idea of "missionary dating." You go out with someone, and instead of them influencing them for bad, you influence them for good. This means being bold and sharing the gospel! Not a list of rules to keep, but about Jesus Christ!

Will you be rejected for standing up for your faith? You betcha! But if you pray consistently that God will change their hearts and lives, the Holy Spirit will prepare their hearts to receive the truth of the gospel. And if they reject you, think of yourself as tilling dry ground or planting seeds someone else will water, and harvest. You are in God's will, when you are sharing the gospel. Stop letting these new, non-Christian friends tempt you with breaking the rules. Turn it around and give them your testimony. About how Christ had changed your life!! And if he has not changed your life, you better figure out why!

In other words, stop focusing inward on your pain, and start being on mission with Christ! Read some books in evangelism, memorize some scriptures, including Roman Road. Don't let these people take you down this wrong, wide road to destruction. Revivals ate started when one person begins to pray, and God uses that person to spread the gospel!
Don't shun them, and don't walk away. This might be God's mission field for you!

And as a bonus, my husband and I became good friends in college. He was saved, and wanted to share the gospel. In fact, a LOT of people had been sharing the gospel with me. I was running scared AND looking for God. My future husband sat me down and told me I needed to repent of my sins. I suddenly knew Jesus was real, and he was the Saviour of the world. And my Saviour. We got married about a year later, and we've been married 41 years, coming up. We have 4 children and 7 grandchildren.

You don't have to be alone, because they are not Christians. Share Jesus with them, and your friends can be Christians with you! It worked for my husband!
 
Dec 25, 2021
10
4
3
#10
Hello JLM23 and welcome to CC. I'm not exactly a young adult but wish to support you anyway. Hold true to your beliefs and reject those influences which tempt you. You are stronger than they are. Hard as it may seem, be a light of truth to others by your faith and actions. Always be gentle with yourself, God has a plan and He has you where He wants you to be. You are on His schedule, not yours. Trust Him.

You are in my prayers.
Thank you so much, I greatly appreciate it !!
 

SparkyM

New member
Jun 1, 2019
7
5
3
#11
Hey op. I am in a similar situation to you execpt i no longer have my job, i am incredibly lonely. I dont feel close to God and so i have nothing.
However i will still trust in him even in this dark pit.
 
Dec 25, 2021
10
4
3
#12
A lot of people don't like the idea of "missionary dating." You go out with someone, and instead of them influencing them for bad, you influence them for good. This means being bold and sharing the gospel! Not a list of rules to keep, but about Jesus Christ!

Will you be rejected for standing up for your faith? You betcha! But if you pray consistently that God will change their hearts and lives, the Holy Spirit will prepare their hearts to receive the truth of the gospel. And if they reject you, think of yourself as tilling dry ground or planting seeds someone else will water, and harvest. You are in God's will, when you are sharing the gospel. Stop letting these new, non-Christian friends tempt you with breaking the rules. Turn it around and give them your testimony. About how Christ had changed your life!! And if he has not changed your life, you better figure out why!

In other words, stop focusing inward on your pain, and start being on mission with Christ! Read some books in evangelism, memorize some scriptures, including Roman Road. Don't let these people take you down this wrong, wide road to destruction. Revivals ate started when one person begins to pray, and God uses that person to spread the gospel!
Don't shun them, and don't walk away. This might be God's mission field for you!

And as a bonus, my husband and I became good friends in college. He was saved, and wanted to share the gospel. In fact, a LOT of people had been sharing the gospel with me. I was running scared AND looking for God. My future husband sat me down and told me I needed to repent of my sins. I suddenly knew Jesus was real, and he was the Saviour of the world. And my Saviour. We got married about a year later, and we've been married 41 years, coming up. We have 4 children and 7 grandchildren.

You don't have to be alone, because they are not Christians. Share Jesus with them, and your friends can be Christians with you! It worked for my husband!

Thank you so much! So true. I think God has been showing me that. Thank you!! <3
 
Dec 25, 2021
10
4
3
#13
Hello JLM23 and welcome to CC. I'm not exactly a young adult but wish to support you anyway. Hold true to your beliefs and reject those influences which tempt you. You are stronger than they are. Hard as it may seem, be a light of truth to others by your faith and actions. Always be gentle with yourself, God has a plan and He has you where He wants you to be. You are on His schedule, not yours. Trust Him.

You are in my prayers.
thank you so much for your encouraging words. <3
I have a crush on a boy at work who is a nonbeliever so that im struggling with that. He is very polite and nice to me but he doesn't know Jesus so I know that is not an option. it's hard to resist but deep down I know I need to!
 
Dec 25, 2021
10
4
3
#14
Loneliness is a hard thing to deal with. We are all family here and it is nice of you to join us. I pray that this site is as much a blessing to you as it has for me. Looking forward to getting to know you through your posts. Welcome to CC.
thank you!!!
 
Dec 25, 2021
10
4
3
#15
Welcome, JLM!

Our youngest is in high school, so i'm not that young, you see. Not very sociable either, there was a time i thought i'd never have new friends again, esp when i was 'stuck' at home w/ my newborn again, not able to pursue career/my dreams=). But like financial needs, the Lord provides friends-- and (church) family, that while i sometimes felt a stranger at the church we moved to some 10 yrs ago, am letting myself be the friend of most any age now looking for friends. Glad i had (much) older friends before (some very young too) but when they pass away.. God showed we could get new friends again, online, offline-- and theyre all a blessing!
thank you!!!
 
Dec 25, 2021
10
4
3
#16
Hi! Welcome to CC! I’m sorry you are facing this struggle right now. It is very important for a Christian to be part of a community, but they must be part of a Christian community that follows Biblical principles and encourages living a godly lifestyle.

Unfortunately, when a Christian befriends and hangs out with nonbelievers (outside of the context of only sharing the gospel with them/work/school/etc.) the Christian can be influenced to participate in sin and an ungodly lifestyle displeasing to god with the nonbelievers. The temptations will only continue to grow and the likelihood of sinning increases.

Here is a hypothetical example, say you continue having friendships with these non believers who are already influencing you to date a non believer. Say you start dating the nonbeliever and continue to hang out with the nonbelievers. Soon you will be tempted and encouraged/peer pressured to do the sins that most non believers do: sex outside of marriage, drinking, smoking, partying, participating in other spiritual practices, etc. You could wind up having children out of wedlock with a nonbeliever, and even marrying that nonbeliever, and possible divorce down the road. (Marriage and children with a nonbeliever is a whole different issue by itself!) Eventually, after living such a sinful lifestyle and leading an ungodly lifestyle with unbelievers, you may lose all faith and become an unbeliever yourself after persuasion from the unbelievers. You could even wind up in legal trouble from drinking/partying/possible drug usage. Death is also a possibility with sins like drinking/partying/drug use.

You could potentially end up leading a sinful and miserable life by choosing the wrong community to fellowship with and to encourage you. Unfortunately, many more people are turning away from God every year, or turning to false gods and idols. It is getting much harder to find a community of Christians and a Christian spouse in 2021, and it will only continue to get worse..This means it will take us more time to find the right people to commune with. However, we have the advantage of the internet where we can search for and reach out to communities of Christians to join where we live and online (Like CC!)

I think a good idea would be to search online for churches close to you and contact/email the church leaders to see if they have members your age. Also, there is nothing wrong with having friends that are older than you. In fact, older friends can be a blessing because they are much wiser and have more life experience that they can share with you.

And sorry for the length of my reply….my replies tend to be long, but I hope it is helpful. I hope that you find a community of believers to be a part of and fellowship with very soon! And don’t forget, the members of CC are here to fellowship with you as well! I also included a few verses from The Bible that speak on having relationships with nonbelievers.



1 COR 15:33 “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’”

PROV 14:7 “Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.”

PSALM 26:4-5 “I do not sit with men of falsehood, nor do I consort with hypocrites. 5 I hate the assembly of evildoers, and I will not sit with the wicked.”

PSALM 1:1-4 “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away.”

2 COR. 6:14-18 “ Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, ‘I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, 18 and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.‘”
1 COR. 5:11 “But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one.”
thank you so much!!!!
 

3angelsmsg

Junior Member
Mar 1, 2018
606
646
93
#17
@Jesus_loves_me23 I had the same experience at church where it feels you don't fit in with the youth. But luckily in my case there were senior church members which took me by the hand and invited me over to have lunch with them every sabbath afternoon.

I would suggest to search out to church elders maybe their could take you under wings. Another suggestion, does your church have youth camps where youths from all around the country come together? I would register for such event. Before the pandemic I would go to all these summer and winter camps, church camo meetings. You will meet very like-minded individuals there.
 

KarynLouise

Active member
Jan 15, 2022
215
133
43
44
Arkansas
#18
How are you doing now, JLM? I hope you've made some good friends. Have you invited any of those work friends to church?
 
Jan 27, 2022
659
207
43
Tin Can Bay
#19
I'm new to this and just wanted to be in fellowship with other believers. I am a young adult and there is no young adult group at church so I honestly feel lonely. Everyone is either older than me or younger. I need to be around people my age and it's hard. I even took up a new job where I thought I would be able to meet new people and socialize a bit. The problem is, this job does inquire alot of socialization with my coworkers and there are people close to my age but they aren't Christian and can be bad influences. I am not partying or drinking like they do together sometimes but I just like to be friends with them because I want friends. Only I feel like I am being influenced in my walk with God. Like I said, I am not partying drinking or anything but I am being tempted to date nonbelievers and it's hard. I'm a young adult and I crave community. I don't really have friends at church but have been so desperate for social interaction I am scared to leave my job. I don't want to be lonely with no friends again. Please help. Any Bible Verses or wisdom you feel led to share? I really need you family of Christ.
I wish I could offer you a solution, but I can't. After God made me a Christian in my loungeroom at home, I searched and searched for a fellowship that could provide me with godly teaching and care, overseen by a shepherd put there by God, and I've never been able to find one. So I've walked alone in the gap between man-made organised religion and the world since, for the past 39 years. It's been a struggle, particularly since I am gregarious by nature as well. But God has kept my spirit alive.

Could I suggest that you try different fellowships, seeking out one that socialises in a true family sense. Look for one that truly share their time and resources together, getting to know and care for each other in practical ways, and ideally that interact with similar fellowships in their area thus broadening your opportunities for social interaction with Christians in your age group.

The main cause of your dilemma is that the church has been hijacked by egotistical men and women in the past that have created divisions, setting up their own theological slant and regimented fellowship style, making the church dysfunctional and impotent, a spiritual death bed.
 

ChristianTonyB

Active member
Jan 27, 2022
659
207
43
Tin Can Bay
#20
A lot of people don't like the idea of "missionary dating." You go out with someone, and instead of them influencing them for bad, you influence them for good. This means being bold and sharing the gospel! Not a list of rules to keep, but about Jesus Christ!

Will you be rejected for standing up for your faith? You betcha! But if you pray consistently that God will change their hearts and lives, the Holy Spirit will prepare their hearts to receive the truth of the gospel. And if they reject you, think of yourself as tilling dry ground or planting seeds someone else will water, and harvest. You are in God's will, when you are sharing the gospel. Stop letting these new, non-Christian friends tempt you with breaking the rules. Turn it around and give them your testimony. About how Christ had changed your life!! And if he has not changed your life, you better figure out why!

In other words, stop focusing inward on your pain, and start being on mission with Christ! Read some books in evangelism, memorize some scriptures, including Roman Road. Don't let these people take you down this wrong, wide road to destruction. Revivals ate started when one person begins to pray, and God uses that person to spread the gospel!
Don't shun them, and don't walk away. This might be God's mission field for you!

And as a bonus, my husband and I became good friends in college. He was saved, and wanted to share the gospel. In fact, a LOT of people had been sharing the gospel with me. I was running scared AND looking for God. My future husband sat me down and told me I needed to repent of my sins. I suddenly knew Jesus was real, and he was the Saviour of the world. And my Saviour. We got married about a year later, and we've been married 41 years, coming up. We have 4 children and 7 grandchildren.

You don't have to be alone, because they are not Christians. Share Jesus with them, and your friends can be Christians with you! It worked for my husband!
A very dangerous strategy. Don’t do this, you are putting yourself at unnecessary risk. Her husband was foolish, and tempting fate IMO.