Dear nancymarie,
I am qualified to try to answer this question because I too cheated on a wife that I dearly loved. There was never any doubt in my mind that I wanted our marriage to work, and I was terrified that she would leave me, but I couldn't control my urges. I truly believe that there is such a thing as "sex addiction". God finally intervened in my life, and put an emphatic stop to my philandering, one of many things for which I am thankful, and I have been happier than I ever was since I lost my desire to "cheat". (Toward the end, I cheated with porn rather than other women, but the principle was the same.)
If you truly believe that your husband loves you, and you quite possibly could be right, I would suggest that you confront him, gently but honestly, about the situation. Explain how his actions make you feel and tell him that you cannot stand to be patient forever. Offer to help him any way you can, and bring up the possibility of more joint marital counseling. If you feel that way, tell him that you are willing to meet him more than halfway, but that he must begin to try and control his addiction.
In any event, don't blame yourself for the situation. Sex addiction is a disease (I believe) and cannot always be cured easily. This is his problem. All you can do is stand by him and try to help him through it. He needs to become accountable to someone who will monitor his actions and nudge him when he seems to be slipping.
Above all, continue to love him and pray for him. Nothing is too hard for God. He has healed many worse cases than your husband's.
God be with you in your struggles.
