How did you meet your husband/wfie?

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jamie26301

Senior Member
May 14, 2011
1,154
10
38
39
#21
simply, know what character traits (Rules!) you're looking for .... if you dont know, ask your parents they usually know ....

NOTE: confirm whateverrr they say does not conflict with biblical (Christian) behaviors ....
The studies I referred to are not meant to communicate standards or be a reflection of biblical principals, they are merely stats of what is commonly found in our society - in other words, they are facts, not a picture of morality.

a. if you're a female, you must be a "8+" min on most guys scale > translation, FINE! .... and have domestic skills !!!
b. if your a male, she passes your scale and have domestic skills > check with your parent(s) for a go .... if they say NO! > dump her quick !!! .... otherwise, lock her down ASAP > avoid fornication ....
You're joking, right? (I honestly can't tell. This seems so satirical but I can't tell from the context of the whole post)

BY THE WAY EVERYONE (trolls): This IS NOT, I repeat, NOT a theology/morality thread! I opened it TO GET AWAY from debate! I just want to hear experiences. GEEZ! Can we not talk without having an argument? What, is polite conversation too boring for you?

(I don't always enlarge my font, but when I do, I am clearly irritated by how the intention of the OP is quickly turned on its head.)
 
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B

brokenclay

Guest
#22
Greetings in Christ @jamie26301. Thank you for your question. I watched a lot of old fashion romance movies during my junior years. I once read a book about a beautiful Indian princess named Hiawatha. Think Buffie Saint Marie when she was young. Her father was a Chief.
I fantasized being with her. One day during my wild and crazy drinking days, I saw her. I stared at her. I wondered who she was and would I meet her. Eventually I got to know this wild beautiful woman whose father was and is Chief today. We were crazy and violent. But I was in love with her. God intervened because she was a believer; I was not. God used our separation to break me and save me. Brought her back to me to marry me.
This April 2nd,2014, will be our 31st. Anniversary. God is faithful and good. Hope this is what you wanted to hear. Cheers :). Larry Sherman.
 

Toska

Senior Member
Nov 16, 2013
1,857
22
38
#23
Well, you asked for it! Sorry such a long post! :)



Wow, so a couple of athletes, huh? :) That's wonderful that you two share that interest. Do you two still engage in exercise? (Not a question of criticism, just wondering.)

You say "weekend." David and I wed on the weekend: Saturday, the first day of winter. :)

Do you have any children? Are you both pretty close to each other in doctrine?

David (my husband) and I were friends starting off too. We met on Facebook. And about a year before that, I had friended an atheist (Jeremy). The thing is, that most Christians would've unfriended Jeremy
for the anti-Christian things that he posts sometimes. But it didn't bother me much, because I'm open-minded and I let it roll off my back. If I HAD unfriended him, I wouldn't have met my husband. <3 David had responded in rebuttal to one of my comments under Jeremy's status, and I thought "You know, maybe I could learn something from this guy. He sounds interesting and willing to discuss things civilly." I had no intention of romantic interest, and he was engaged at the time anyway.

We talked briefly on and off for a few months, and one night he informed me that his fiancee left him (he had no feelings for me at the time, our online chats had nothing to do with the situation). After that, he and I started talking a lot more, and started showing interest in each other. More is in the excerpts below.

You know, the interesting thing is that his parents had a similar experience in getting together that we had. His father was engaged when he met his wife, and it didn't work out and he took to David's mom. Another similarity is that his parents' wedding and our wedding were very minimal and not the ideal that most girls dream of for having a wedding. Our wedding was nice, but the budget we spent was about $2,000. We had a little help, with the bridal party supplying their own dresses/tuxes, and his mom decorating. We got married in his mother's house, and not the ideal of a beautiful church. His parents: They got married in a courthouse, his father wearing work clothes and his mom wearing a less-than-formal dress; she was pregnant with David (their first child). Neither his parents or us took a honeymoon. His parents were each other's first spouse, married young, and were faithful to each other and were happy together until his father passed away in 2011 of cancer. We are each others' first spouse too. Another similarity is that his parents got married after five months; we got married after about nine months. Short engagements. So, if his parents' experiences with successful marriage and getting married is a model for us, we're on the right track. ^_^ Of course, these things aren't the determining factors of whether we make it or not - it would be the work we put into it, honesty, trust, communication, and all those things.

You know what David told me during one of his first visits to see me? He said he usually doesn't add people to Facebook he doesn't know personally - in adding me it was something completely out of character and habit. He just impulsively accepted my friend request. That kind of speaks to the whole thing being meant to be, as well, you know?

One weekend it snowed in his town - in MAY! And for his ice business, that means that he can get away to see me. He wrote me in a letter "It makes me think, 'Is Someone trying to nudge me in Jamie's direction?'" And my pastor - the ONLY pastor he has ever met that he felt confortable listening to preach and in talking to him, talked about that very topic in his sermon, I believe that very Sunday (or the one before or after). The topic of God trying to communicate to us through unusual events.



Here is some additional details on our story, taken from the Catfishing thread. A few of the details may not make sense because of the context of the thread in which the story was told... I just don't want to type it all out! lol





There's also more to tell, but I'll leave it at that. :)
Yep, we were a couple of athletes when we met and we still enjoy physical activities together. We ride mountain bikes now. It is beautiful. We have a ton of trails in the national forest that is all around us. Most people think I am crazy for riding those trails--they are narrow dirt paths with lots of hills. Going up is hard, going down can be scary if I go too fast because of all the trees, rocks, logs, etc. that are right next to the trails. I did crash and burn about a year ago, broke a rib in the process. I was more upset about the recovery time than I was the broken rib. We always joke that if we don't crash every once in a while, we are not riding hard enough:) Needless to say, the broken rib crash has not been my only one by far. Plus, all the cuts and bruises from clipping trees and rocks are not pretty. But, we enjoy it and it is great exercise.

No, no children. I was never able to get pregnant. I had a huge tumor (volley ball sized) on my ovary when I was in my early 20's. It caused damage that my surgeon could not repair, and he spent a lot of time trying to repair the damage since I was so young. We do have our dogs, though--they are our replacement children. One is a lab mix that was a rescue who was abused and now only likes me and hubby. The other is a Chesapeake Bay Retriever who loves everyone and thinks she can talk. We have some nice "conversations" with her:)

Our anniversary was last Saturday. We spent a casual night together--dinner, movie, a little shopping. He bought me the cutest hat--a cowgirl hat that I fell in love with. I am obsessed with hats, always trying to keep the sun off my face when we go fishing or anything else outdoors. And, I like to have a hat with me when we go biking because the helmet and sweat does a number on my hair and we usually go out to eat after we ride. It is easier to plop a hat on my head than trying to fix the "helmet head" that I get.

And, yes, we are very close in doctrine. I am a new Christian, he rededicated his life shorty after I was saved. We have some really good discussions about scripture and I am amazed at how similar our views are. He is my go-to guy when I have questions and he is a really good teacher. Since he was raised in Christianity, he has so much more knowledge than I do and I love how seriously he takes his role as spiritual head of the house. I am a lucky girl.

It sounds like you and your husband were just meant to be together. Some people just know. I fell in love with my husband on our first date. It does not sound like you two rushed into marriage. Every couple is different and has to do what they are comfortable with. I think you two sound like a very strong couple, that is huge. If you are strong as a couple, you can get through the trials and tribulations that are thrown at you in every day life easier (just my opinion). I am just glad that you are happy, being happy in marriage is a big deal for me. Plus, I have a great example in my parents. They will be celebrating their 50th anniversary in July--how cool is that?
 

jamie26301

Senior Member
May 14, 2011
1,154
10
38
39
#24
Greetings in Christ @jamie26301. Thank you for your question. I watched a lot of old fashion romance movies during my junior years. I once read a book about a beautiful Indian princess named Hiawatha. Think Buffie Saint Marie when she was young. Her father was a Chief.
I fantasized being with her. One day during my wild and crazy drinking days, I saw her. I stared at her. I wondered who she was and would I meet her. Eventually I got to know this wild beautiful woman whose father was and is Chief today. We were crazy and violent. But I was in love with her. God intervened because she was a believer; I was not. God used our separation to break me and save me. Brought her back to me to marry me.
This April 2nd,2014, will be our 31st. Anniversary. God is faithful and good. Hope this is what you wanted to hear. Cheers :). Larry Sherman.
Wow! That is a very beautiful story! It's evidence that God does give us the desires of our hearts! But it also shows that He doesn't always have the "ideal" plan in which to grant us that desire.

31 years is a long time. Congrats!
 

jamie26301

Senior Member
May 14, 2011
1,154
10
38
39
#25
Yep, we were a couple of athletes when we met and we still enjoy physical activities together. We ride mountain bikes now. It is beautiful. We have a ton of trails in the national forest that is all around us. Most people think I am crazy for riding those trails--they are narrow dirt paths with lots of hills. Going up is hard, going down can be scary if I go too fast because of all the trees, rocks, logs, etc. that are right next to the trails. I did crash and burn about a year ago, broke a rib in the process. I was more upset about the recovery time than I was the broken rib. We always joke that if we don't crash every once in a while, we are not riding hard enough:) Needless to say, the broken rib crash has not been my only one by far. Plus, all the cuts and bruises from clipping trees and rocks are not pretty. But, we enjoy it and it is great exercise.


It's a sign that you really love something, when you'll do it in spite of pain and risks. I remember taking baton as a little girl and when I tried an ariel and it hit me in the nose, I stopped right then - I obviously didn't get much enjoyment out of it. :)

No, no children. I was never able to get pregnant. I had a huge tumor (volley ball sized) on my ovary when I was in my early 20's. It caused damage that my surgeon could not repair, and he spent a lot of time trying to repair the damage since I was so young. We do have our dogs, though--they are our replacement children. One is a lab mix that was a rescue who was abused and now only likes me and hubby. The other is a Chesapeake Bay Retriever who loves everyone and thinks she can talk. We have some nice "conversations" with her:)
May I ask why you didn't adopt? Or did you just not want any kids? I am really sorry for your infliction that prevented you from conceiving. But it looks like instead of growing bitter like a lot of women who can't have children (the ones who want them), you look at the bright side and make the most of the situation. That is really grand. :) David and I are on the fence, but he's more open to the idea than I am.

Our anniversary was last Saturday. We spent a casual night together--dinner, movie, a little shopping.
You know, sometimes the casual stuff is so much more pleasurable and intimate than celebrating in a lavish way. If you've got a tight budget, for example, dinner at a fancy place would provide more stress than enjoyment because you'll likely be thinking about the bill.

Where did you two shop? What are some stores that are of mutual interest?

What music or TV shows/movies that you both mutually enjoy?

He bought me the cutest hat--a cowgirl hat that I fell in love with. I am obsessed with hats, always trying to keep the sun off my face when we go fishing or anything else outdoors. And, I like to have a hat with me when we go biking because the helmet and sweat does a number on my hair and we usually go out to eat after we ride. It is easier to plop a hat on my head than trying to fix the "helmet head" that I get.
Awww, the best gifts are the personal ones that also provide usefulness (doesn't get tucked in a drawer, or set on the shelf and forgotten).

You don't wear a helmet biking? Or do you wear the hat under the helmet? I'm not trying to boss or anything (not at all), but to be riding the trails you are, a helmet is a wonderful precaution that can make all the difference in an accident. However (and I'm sure you know this), the helmet is useless if it doesn't fit properly.

And, yes, we are very close in doctrine. I am a new Christian, he rededicated his life shorty after I was saved. We have some really good discussions about scripture and I am amazed at how similar our views are. He is my go-to guy when I have questions and he is a really good teacher. Since he was raised in Christianity, he has so much more knowledge than I do and I love how seriously he takes his role as spiritual head of the house. I am a lucky girl.
That's wonderful. David and I are pretty close in sentiment, but we have different thoughts on some issues. I am much more versed in Scripture than he is, but he is much more verses in rhetoric and logic than I am. So, we compliment each other that way, and we learn from each other. Intellectual conversations are VERY rewarding, because he or I or both of us come away from the talk having learned something - about the topic and also about each other.

It sounds like you and your husband were just meant to be together. Some people just know. I fell in love with my husband on our first date. It does not sound like you two rushed into marriage. Every couple is different and has to do what they are comfortable with. I think you two sound like a very strong couple, that is huge. If you are strong as a couple, you can get through the trials and tribulations that are thrown at you in every day life easier (just my opinion). I am just glad that you are happy, being happy in marriage is a big deal for me.
Well, even though we lived 900 miles apart during those nine months, we were together in person for about four of those months. And when we weren't together, we Skyped, Facebooked, and/or talked on the phone for hours a day - and not "small talk," either. So, it's not like we hardly knew each other. We felt chemistry on the very first day - yes, we fell in love the first day too. :) The second weekend he visited me, he mentioned that marriage crossed his mind - and gave me a promise ring the third visit. So yeah, it SEEMS like it was really fast, to a lot of people, but in terms of how much we talked (and the fact that we DID deal with issues and disagreements - thus understanding that we had the capcity to solve conflicts constructively), we really didn't rush it at all.

Plus, I have a great example in my parents. They will be celebrating their 50th anniversary in July--how cool is that ?


That is beyond awesome! Not very common to see the big 50. Yes, his parents were a good model for him, and mine were together until my mother died as well. I'm sure his parents would've made it to 50 as well.
 
J

Jeve515

Guest
#26
Me and a friend were hanging out on a sunday... the day before it was our good friends bday but we couldn't go see her cuz we both worked that day... so we decided to go see her when we were out... we go over and her best friend (now my wife) is there... she didn't really talk to us at first... but all 4 of us went out to eat and she opened up... we all had fun after we ate we hung out some more... the very next weekend me and a few of my friends had a trip to six flags... my friend that we went to go see told me the next day in class that her friend from yesterday was the girl she told me she invited to go with us... so i said ok cool she's really pretty so make sure she comes... I didn't see my wife again till six flags.. we kicked it of really from the beginning of the day... at six flags we spent the while time together... towards the end we were all in line to get on a ride and my friends started cracking jokes on me... i walked of joking around hoping she would come after me and she did so me and her just went our own way for the rest of the night... After that day we were unseperable... that was 7 years ago... and this day our marriage is falling apart badly and very fast... She's doing her own thing out there and I'm praying God will bring us back together... i know He will
 

Toska

Senior Member
Nov 16, 2013
1,857
22
38
#27
It's a sign that you really love something, when you'll do it in spite of pain and risks. I remember taking baton as a little girl and when I tried an ariel and it hit me in the nose, I stopped right then - I obviously didn't get much enjoyment out of it. :)

Yes, I do love it. Not only is it good exercise, it is quality time spent with my husband. I am a very clumsy person--we were not surprised when I crashed and broke my rib. Just another day for me:)

May I ask why you didn't adopt? Or did you just not want any kids? I am really sorry for your infliction that prevented you from conceiving. But it looks like instead of growing bitter like a lot of women who can't have children (the ones who want them), you look at the bright side and make the most of the situation. That is really grand. :) David and I are on the fence, but he's more open to the idea than I am.

There are so many reasons we did not adopt. For whatever reason my husband did not like the idea of adopting, not 100% sure why. Also, I have health problems and there were concerns about me being able to care for a child. I am really not that strong about the whole situation. There are times when I get really upset about not being able to conceive but, I have learned to live with it.

You know, sometimes the casual stuff is so much more pleasurable and intimate than celebrating in a lavish way. If you've got a tight budget, for example, dinner at a fancy place would provide more stress than enjoyment because you'll likely be thinking about the bill.

Yes, the casual stuff is more enjoyable to me. For me, it is just getting to spend quality time with my husband. We could have gone to McDonalds for all I care. I only want to be able to spend time with him.

Where did you two shop? What are some stores that are of mutual interest?

This will probably sound silly but, we went to Bass Pro Shops. We both enjoy shopping there. That is where we found the hat he bought me. He told me that the hat I had been wearing was not at all attractive and the cowboy hat looked so much better. We went fishing yesterday and he must have told me about 5 times how much he liked my new hat:) It is nice to get that many compliments over something as small as a hat.

What music or TV shows/movies that you both mutually enjoy?

We both like a wide variety of music. Christian, old school rock, and jazz are some of our favorites. He likes country more than I do but, I still like a lot of the songs. As for tv, we don't watch a lot of it. We watch the news, hgtv, cooking shows, wheel of fortune, and Andy Griffith reruns, to name a few. He also loves college football. I only watch when the Arkansas Razorbacks are playing (we live in Arkansas---whooooooooooooooo, pig, sooie!).

Awww, the best gifts are the personal ones that also provide usefulness (doesn't get tucked in a drawer, or set on the shelf and forgotten).

You don't wear a helmet biking? Or do you wear the hat under the helmet? I'm not trying to boss or anything (not at all), but to be riding the trails you are, a helmet is a wonderful precaution that can make all the difference in an accident. However (and I'm sure you know this), the helmet is useless if it doesn't fit properly.

Oh, yes. I never get on my bike without a helmet. Not wearing one would be courting disaster for a clutz like me. At first, I also work knee and elbow pads--a little added protection until I got better at riding the bike. The hat is for after we ride. I sweat under the helmet and also get "helmet head". Since we usually stop and eat lunch/dinner at one of the restaurants in the areas that we ride--a hat is easier than trying to make my hair look presentable:)
Sorry this post is so long, it was easier to answer it one question at a time.
 
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jamie26301

Senior Member
May 14, 2011
1,154
10
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#28
Yes, I do love it. Not only is it good exercise, it is quality time spent with my husband. I am a very clumsy person--we were not surprised when I crashed and broke my rib. Just another day for me:)
:) Yes, I'm very clumsy too. Sometimes David will ask me "How did you get that bruise?" And I bump into things so much, that I have to confess, "I don't know." lol

David and I like to take walks. And David has long legs and take quick steps, but I can keep up with him because I walk pretty fast - noticeably fast, lol. And he said that it was actually nice, that his girlfriend keeping up with him was a problem in the past, and he felt uncomfortable (to an extent) with having to slow down. Funny thing is, sometimes I outpace him - especially when I need to go to the bathroom. :)


There are so many reasons we did not adopt. For whatever reason my husband did not like the idea of adopting, not 100% sure why. Also, I have health problems and there were concerns about me being able to care for a child. I am really not that strong about the whole situation. There are times when I get really upset about not being able to conceive but, I have learned to live with it.
Well, having kids may be difficult for us too. The biggest thing is that I take medication, and if I get pregnant, I have to go off it. That's almost nine months of not taking meds (that I take to stabilize my mood - they are essential) . If I get pregnant, I would have to discontinue them immediately and cold turkey - which is dangerous. But tampering off them would be dangerous for the child (longer exposure). So yeah, we would probably be more prone to adopt, although David speaks of having our own as if he'd like to do that one day. I don't really want children - but I may change my mind later. It's a decision we would make together.


Yes, the casual stuff is more enjoyable to me. For me, it is just getting to spend quality time with my husband. We could have gone to McDonalds for all I care. I only want to be able to spend time with him.
:) Yes, I feel the same way about David. It doesn't really matter where we go. We do eat out a lot, but since moving into this apartment, we have gotten better about eating out so much.

This will probably sound silly but, we went to Bass Pro Shops. We both enjoy shopping there.
Not silly at all! There's a Bass Pro Shop right here in Branson! You're in AR? We're not really that far apart, depending on the region of the state you're in. :) Last summer, I bought David a thermos at Bass Pro. I enjoy walking around in there, but it's quite pricey!

Have you ever been to Hemingway? It's also owned by the same people that own Bass Pro.

That is where we found the hat he bought me. He told me that the hat I had been wearing was not at all attractive and the cowboy hat looked so much better. We went fishing yesterday and he must have told me about 5 times how much he liked my new hat:) It is nice to get that many compliments over something as small as a hat.
David is the only man I've ever been with that compliments me all the time. He tells me how beautiful I am, even though I'm overweight and presently have a face-full of acne (side effect of one of my medications). And he means it, he's not just humoring me. I told him last night that when I'm with him, he makes me forget all my imperfections, because he makes me feel so wanted. It is nice, it really is. :)

We both like a wide variety of music. Christian, old school rock, and jazz are some of our favorites. He likes country more than I do but, I still like a lot of the songs. As for tv, we don't watch a lot of it. We watch the news, hgtv, cooking shows, wheel of fortune, and Andy Griffith reruns, to name a few. He also loves college football. I only watch when the Arkansas Razorbacks are playing (we live in Arkansas---whooooooooooooooo, pig, sooie!).
The only music David and I share, mostly is obscure bands and artists. We both like Alan Parsons Project. But he doesn't really like mainstream stuff all that much, though he can stomach listening to SOME of it with me. I like jazz and some classical rock too, I really like country. I listen to classical, and some easy listening, as well as Top 40 stuff. My listening range and enjoyment is a lot broader than his. I have the ability to listen to music and like it despite disagreeing with the artists' lifestyle, image, or personality. Not everyone can do that.

We both like Frasier (TV sitcom). He tells me that Frasier reminds him so much of me: I'm too analytical for my own good, often (though humorously) hypocritical, and I get bent out of shape over the lack of decency in people. Last night there was a joke on there about Frasier and Niles analyzing the heck out of their relationships, and I asked David "Do I over-analyze relationships?" and he said "You over-analyze everything." lol

We also enjoy Star Trek together, and we both enjoy documentaries.


Oh, yes. I never get on my bike without a helmet. Not wearing one would be courting disaster for a clutz like me. At first, I also work knee and elbow pads--a little added protection until I got better at riding the bike. The hat is for after we ride. I sweat under the helmet and also get "helmet head". Since we usually stop and eat lunch/dinner at one of the restaurants in the areas that we ride--a hat is easier than trying to make my hair look presentable:)
Ah I see. Well, that's nice. :)
 

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
26
0
#29
I met my boyfriend at school. He has already graduated now, but at the time we were both pianists in the music program. We had a group piano class together, and though we didn't speak to one another, I was very impressed with his musical abilities. One semester we were assigned to play a duet together, which forced us to spend time together rehearsing. As I got to know him, I realized he was the only other pianist in the department who preferred playing at church rather than classical music. I asked him if he could play something for me, and he played an arrangement of Amazing Grace that was so beautiful it melted my heart. From that moment on, we were good friends, and enjoyed spending time together at school. At the time, I was a freshman, and very shy, but he was the first person to make me feel completely comfortable. I could be myself around him. :) We chatted about non-music things as well, such as our families, our aspirations, and our faith. I honestly assumed he just thought of me as a good friend, or even a little sister, so I didn't get my hopes up about anything, which is why it really took me by surprise when he finally confessed that he liked me after a year and a half of friendship. Not long after that, he asked me to be his girlfriend.. and I said no. ;) I told him that he needed to ask my parents, which he did without hesitation. Then he asked me once again to be his girlfriend and I finally said yes. It's been just over a year since he began courting me, and it has been such a joy for me to be this close to him and be able to watch as he matures as a man and as a Christian. He has also become more and more romantic and nurturing to me with every passing day, with no prodding from me whatsoever. I am blessed. :)
 
T

tenderhearted

Guest
#30
My husband and I were teenagers working at the movies when we met. We were best friends and then dated for two and half years before we got married. We have two children and another on the way. We are still best friends :)
 
K

KMoore88

Guest
#31
I've been married twice. My first marriage we met in the military...and during my first marriage we met a guy named Kevin Moore, he helped us in process and get settled and helped us find a car. But then once my ex husband and I were separated, I ran into Kevin again and now Kevin and I are happily married. So in reality, I met my current husband through my ex husband. But yeah...it's all messed up lol!