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I don't think it is pointless to care what people think of us. I consider what people think but if they are wrong then I will tell them. It does not feel good to be misunderstood.
You say only God can judge but yet you have judged me by saying that I also judge. How does that make any sense?
I don't like being judged falsely. If what someone says is true then I have to introspect and consider it.
But many have judged the op's girlfriend and put her in a negative light which I don't think is fair considering her health condition.
You say only God can judge but yet you have judged me by saying that I also judge. How does that make any sense?
I don't like being judged falsely. If what someone says is true then I have to introspect and consider it.
But many have judged the op's girlfriend and put her in a negative light which I don't think is fair considering her health condition.
no worries 
I really do hope things get better for you.
Dear Father,
Please look after LRG help her struggles that you know she is going through. Help us both not loose our tempers Lord. In Jesus most precious name..? Amen
I really do hope things get better for you.Dear Father,
Please look after LRG help her struggles that you know she is going through. Help us both not loose our tempers Lord. In Jesus most precious name..? Amen
I think I was born kicking and screaming so I'm not so sure about my temperament. I kind of like being fiery and passionate but of course I also have to exercise self-control.
Maybe that's where my curly hair comes from.
Yes. When they made me they broke the mold. Too many of me around would be way too dangerous.
Other people are allowed to have their own opinions??? Wow! I never knew that.
Hey, you are a funny bunny.
I don't know if I can behave but maybe I should because I think there is a paddle hanging on the wall with my name on it. Oops! Back to work and stay out of trouble.
Other people are allowed to have their own opinions??? Wow! I never knew that.
Hey, you are a funny bunny.
I don't know if I can behave but maybe I should because I think there is a paddle hanging on the wall with my name on it. Oops! Back to work and stay out of trouble.
That's cool. thanks for elaborating.. I don't think anyone meant to misjudge you, sometimes we all just speculate about situations that we don't have much information about. If your happy and love your gal, that's all that matters. Sounds like you just wanted some support and not any in-depth analysis. Sorry if I misunderstood your initial post, but you sounded a bit depressed and out of patience.
My comments were generalized and directed at possible problems that might be causing the girlfriend to feel unloved. My low self-esteem comment may have been a bad characterization, but its been my experience that some women need constant affirmation, otherwise they feel unappreciated. The same goes for some men. And I've seen some very caring and good natured people be exploited by people they're emotionally connected with, thus the term "user". When your on the receiving end of a person who takes advantage of you in that way, love has nothing to do with it.
As mentioned, I don't know this young lady, maybe she's right and her boyfriend doesn't love her as much as she loves him? In which case, you are correct and he needs to devote himself more and show that he cares. But not every guy can give 24/7 like your husband does, it can get overwhelming and very tiresome to wait on someone around the clock. That's why I suggested putting a little space between himself and her for awhile, because he wrote that he was depressed, frustrated, out of patience, and couldn't handle it, so it sounded like he was getting a tad burned-out and could use a break.
And just to note, stinking attitudes aren't just limited to unmarried people. All your compassion is just going to the cancer victim, and that's understandable.
My comments were generalized and directed at possible problems that might be causing the girlfriend to feel unloved. My low self-esteem comment may have been a bad characterization, but its been my experience that some women need constant affirmation, otherwise they feel unappreciated. The same goes for some men. And I've seen some very caring and good natured people be exploited by people they're emotionally connected with, thus the term "user". When your on the receiving end of a person who takes advantage of you in that way, love has nothing to do with it.
As mentioned, I don't know this young lady, maybe she's right and her boyfriend doesn't love her as much as she loves him? In which case, you are correct and he needs to devote himself more and show that he cares. But not every guy can give 24/7 like your husband does, it can get overwhelming and very tiresome to wait on someone around the clock. That's why I suggested putting a little space between himself and her for awhile, because he wrote that he was depressed, frustrated, out of patience, and couldn't handle it, so it sounded like he was getting a tad burned-out and could use a break.
And just to note, stinking attitudes aren't just limited to unmarried people. All your compassion is just going to the cancer victim, and that's understandable.
LRG, I also apologize to you. I honestly have not meant to sound cold, rude or uncompassionate to anyone. However this is the internet, and people's posts get misunderstood sometimes. Go to the bible discussion forum and see for yourself..lol..
Like you, I also have a tendency to say it how I see it, and that does'nt always set well with others. Everyone has their own struggles in life, some are harder than others, and I hope yours get better as time goes on. I have also added my prayer for you to that of Trinity's. Have a nice day. 
you are right, I apologize for saying you were mean. Forgive my quick temper
Oh gosh, all these responses based on personal experience, many proberbly do not mirror the situation Rudday is in.
I have experienced similar situations from all sides, I have had cancer myself, I understand the strain and stress of having cancer. My son had liver transplant at 18 months old, the inlaws were over protective of him to point where they disagreed with having me tell him off, how can you be horrible to someone who could be dead in a week? Fortunately he pulled through and is living a normal life as an adult, although with most of the family letting him get away with murder because he is "special little man" he is still a spoilt brat.
My ex wife suffered from mental break down and depression ,I had to live with that, no matter what I did or said it would not convince her that I loved her, which I did unconditionally. It broke my heart to offer her my complete love but she rejected it and said that I did not really love her and that I was just saying those things. She ended up using that as an excuse to walk out on me and the kids and go off and do her own thing, which included sleeping with as many people as possible in hope that sex would reward her with riches and luxury, but of course it never happened.
SO yes, been there done it bought the T Shirt. One thing this tells me is that the original situation requires professional counselling. In the UK we have MacMillian nurses who are dedicated to supporting families and people with cancer and terminal illness, they do wonders in providing the respite and support needed, I wonder if something similar exists in the USA.
Rudy just keep on hanging on in there, it is frustrating and I understand that frustration, you do need to vent your frustration, take a baseball bat to an old car if thats what is needed, sit down with an understanding firend and just rant for hours to get it out, talk to councillor, even though you not married, marriage guidance counselling will still help and apply to you.
You need to come into the presence of your young lady in a state of mind free from pent up frustration or it will show, even if you do not say or do anything, it can come out in your voice and be reflected in your body langauge.
Just continue to show her that you do love her, do not keep repeating it over and over, words are pften seen as cheap and meaningless, its actions that count. Do you just sit for hours with her holding her in your arms? that says a lot. Do lots of little things she likes that brings happiness to her, give her surprises, take her out to her favourite places without telling her in advanced.
I hope you get the idea, but I would seriously suggest that both of you need to speak to professional counselling, oh and try to not become too obsessed with the demon thing, especially if you mention that to her, red flag to bull and all that.
I have experienced similar situations from all sides, I have had cancer myself, I understand the strain and stress of having cancer. My son had liver transplant at 18 months old, the inlaws were over protective of him to point where they disagreed with having me tell him off, how can you be horrible to someone who could be dead in a week? Fortunately he pulled through and is living a normal life as an adult, although with most of the family letting him get away with murder because he is "special little man" he is still a spoilt brat.
My ex wife suffered from mental break down and depression ,I had to live with that, no matter what I did or said it would not convince her that I loved her, which I did unconditionally. It broke my heart to offer her my complete love but she rejected it and said that I did not really love her and that I was just saying those things. She ended up using that as an excuse to walk out on me and the kids and go off and do her own thing, which included sleeping with as many people as possible in hope that sex would reward her with riches and luxury, but of course it never happened.
SO yes, been there done it bought the T Shirt. One thing this tells me is that the original situation requires professional counselling. In the UK we have MacMillian nurses who are dedicated to supporting families and people with cancer and terminal illness, they do wonders in providing the respite and support needed, I wonder if something similar exists in the USA.
Rudy just keep on hanging on in there, it is frustrating and I understand that frustration, you do need to vent your frustration, take a baseball bat to an old car if thats what is needed, sit down with an understanding firend and just rant for hours to get it out, talk to councillor, even though you not married, marriage guidance counselling will still help and apply to you.
You need to come into the presence of your young lady in a state of mind free from pent up frustration or it will show, even if you do not say or do anything, it can come out in your voice and be reflected in your body langauge.
Just continue to show her that you do love her, do not keep repeating it over and over, words are pften seen as cheap and meaningless, its actions that count. Do you just sit for hours with her holding her in your arms? that says a lot. Do lots of little things she likes that brings happiness to her, give her surprises, take her out to her favourite places without telling her in advanced.
I hope you get the idea, but I would seriously suggest that both of you need to speak to professional counselling, oh and try to not become too obsessed with the demon thing, especially if you mention that to her, red flag to bull and all that.
B
If she is stable enough to attend classes at a university, then she should be rational to engage in a productive relationship. It sounds as though she has personal issues and should see a therapist instead of dragging him through the mud.
There are plenty of sick people in pain who are emotionally stable enough to prevent hurting those they love.
There are plenty of sick people in pain who are emotionally stable enough to prevent hurting those they love.
You have a very bad sense of humor. Could you please stop with the false judgments. Now you insinuate that I am high maintenance? Really? Based on what? Your own prejudices and projections? Based on your quotes below:
"He mostly shows his love by doing things like being the financial provider, watching grandbaby, fixing the car, letting me sleep Yes, that's what I meant by "High maintenance"."
"But not every guy can give 24/7 like your husband does, it can get overwhelming and very tiresome to wait on someone around the clock."
Your comments are very ignorant and insulting. Why should I have defend myself to you? But irregardless to defend my honor here goes.
1. I'm not high maintenance.
2. We have a traditional marriage. My husband is the financial provider and I take care of the home plus run a small business on the side in my home.
3. He watches the grandbaby, who really isn't a baby anymore now since he is 6 years old, because he loves him and likes to spend time with him. We are raising grandbaby so my husband is playing the father role and is really good with the grandbaby.
4. He fixes the car because he is able to. I'm not mechanically inclined and he is. I am more the intellectual and creative type. He never complains about fixing the car and changes his own oil and can replace the brake pads, etc. If he can fix things on his own he saves a lot of money. He's one smart guy.
5. Letting me sleep when I am sick is normal if someone cares about you. I forgot to state I also get Saturday's off so I can sleep in and get a break from the grandbaby.
6. We also get treat day on Wednesday's and me and grandbaby are tickled pink over that too.
7. I think I also mentioned that my husband likes to vacuum. Never met a man that liked to vacuum. I never ask him to help with the housework since I don't consider that to be his job but he will do some things on his own from time to time.
8. My husband does not give 24/7 and he does not wait on me.
9. My husband works a lot. A job and a half and I take care of the house by myself and since he works industrial and even if he didn't I don't phone him and bother him when he is at work. I let him work and do what I am supposed to do at home. So there is no high maintenance.
10. I am quite independent and don't need a babysitter but when my husband is home he spends time with his family and does the work he needs to do around the house and outside. That is the way it is supposed to be and he is not complaining. I've never heard him complain about what he does or whine about it in all these years.
11. I do plenty for my husband too but it would take too long to list everything so I will leave it up to your imagination to figure that one out.
So there you go Mr. Smarty Pants!
"He mostly shows his love by doing things like being the financial provider, watching grandbaby, fixing the car, letting me sleep Yes, that's what I meant by "High maintenance"."
"But not every guy can give 24/7 like your husband does, it can get overwhelming and very tiresome to wait on someone around the clock."
Your comments are very ignorant and insulting. Why should I have defend myself to you? But irregardless to defend my honor here goes.
1. I'm not high maintenance.
2. We have a traditional marriage. My husband is the financial provider and I take care of the home plus run a small business on the side in my home.
3. He watches the grandbaby, who really isn't a baby anymore now since he is 6 years old, because he loves him and likes to spend time with him. We are raising grandbaby so my husband is playing the father role and is really good with the grandbaby.
4. He fixes the car because he is able to. I'm not mechanically inclined and he is. I am more the intellectual and creative type. He never complains about fixing the car and changes his own oil and can replace the brake pads, etc. If he can fix things on his own he saves a lot of money. He's one smart guy.
5. Letting me sleep when I am sick is normal if someone cares about you. I forgot to state I also get Saturday's off so I can sleep in and get a break from the grandbaby.
6. We also get treat day on Wednesday's and me and grandbaby are tickled pink over that too.
7. I think I also mentioned that my husband likes to vacuum. Never met a man that liked to vacuum. I never ask him to help with the housework since I don't consider that to be his job but he will do some things on his own from time to time.
8. My husband does not give 24/7 and he does not wait on me.
9. My husband works a lot. A job and a half and I take care of the house by myself and since he works industrial and even if he didn't I don't phone him and bother him when he is at work. I let him work and do what I am supposed to do at home. So there is no high maintenance.
10. I am quite independent and don't need a babysitter but when my husband is home he spends time with his family and does the work he needs to do around the house and outside. That is the way it is supposed to be and he is not complaining. I've never heard him complain about what he does or whine about it in all these years.
11. I do plenty for my husband too but it would take too long to list everything so I will leave it up to your imagination to figure that one out.
So there you go Mr. Smarty Pants!
LRG, I also apologize to you. I honestly have not meant to sound cold, rude or uncompassionate to anyone. However this is the internet, and people's posts get misunderstood sometimes. Go to the bible discussion forum and see for yourself..lol..
Like you, I also have a tendency to say it how I see it, and that does'nt always set well with others. Everyone has their own struggles in life, some are harder than others, and I hope yours get better as time goes on. I have also added my prayer for you to that of Trinity's. Have a nice day.
you are right, I apologize for saying you were mean. Forgive my quick temper
Thank you.
This isn't about you or your husband... Glad your happy in your marriage though. I felt compelled to explain my "high maintenance" comment. It has nothing to do with love, but a demanding partner who requires a lot of time and effort.
And I think there have been some false judgements for sure, you wrote; "It is called love. If you have never experienced this then how on earth would you know about it" That seems like a self-serving and very judgmental statement. And "I've also noticed that a lot of you with the stinking thinking attitudes are single and not married". Again, a very presumptuous and judgmental remark. Consider that Christ was single, so your prejudice insinuates that he knew nothing about love. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). For me, His definition of love just seems much more profound than yours; "Being complimented and stroked by your spouse is not superficial".
But its enough... I probably should not comment on these relationship postings, people just seem to get resentful. So Mr. Smarty Pants is officially signing off this thread.
And I think there have been some false judgements for sure, you wrote; "It is called love. If you have never experienced this then how on earth would you know about it" That seems like a self-serving and very judgmental statement. And "I've also noticed that a lot of you with the stinking thinking attitudes are single and not married". Again, a very presumptuous and judgmental remark. Consider that Christ was single, so your prejudice insinuates that he knew nothing about love. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). For me, His definition of love just seems much more profound than yours; "Being complimented and stroked by your spouse is not superficial".
But its enough... I probably should not comment on these relationship postings, people just seem to get resentful. So Mr. Smarty Pants is officially signing off this thread.
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This isn't about you or your husband... Glad your happy in your marriage though. I felt compelled to explain my "high maintenance" comment. It has nothing to do with love, but a demanding partner who requires a lot of time and effort.
And I think there have been some false judgements for sure, you wrote; "It is called love. If you have never experienced this then how on earth would you know about it" That seems like a self-serving and very judgmental statement. And "I've also noticed that a lot of you with the stinking thinking attitudes are single and not married". Again, a very presumptuous and judgmental remark. Consider that Christ was single, so your prejudice insinuates that he knew nothing about love. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). For me, His definition of love just seems much more profound than yours; "Being complimented and stroked by your spouse is not superficial".
But its enough... I probably should not comment on these relationship postings, people just seem to get resentful. So Mr. Smarty Pants is officially signing off this thread.
And I think there have been some false judgements for sure, you wrote; "It is called love. If you have never experienced this then how on earth would you know about it" That seems like a self-serving and very judgmental statement. And "I've also noticed that a lot of you with the stinking thinking attitudes are single and not married". Again, a very presumptuous and judgmental remark. Consider that Christ was single, so your prejudice insinuates that he knew nothing about love. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). For me, His definition of love just seems much more profound than yours; "Being complimented and stroked by your spouse is not superficial".
But its enough... I probably should not comment on these relationship postings, people just seem to get resentful. So Mr. Smarty Pants is officially signing off this thread.
In this post you make another jab as in and I quote:
"For me, His definition of love just seems much more profound than yours; "Being complimented and stroked by your spouse is not superficial"."
Actually the highest form of love is self-sacrifice. And marriage is full of self-sacrifice at times. I am very profound so I have no idea what you are talking about.
You obviously have a chip on your shoulder. Maybe stop taking jabs at me because you only make yourself look stupid.
Oh, and Christ being single has nothing to do with it. Christ was fully human and fully divine. Christ came to earth for one purpose and that was to be the final sacrifice for sin. Christ did not come to the earth to get married and create the human family. But God created male and female and both are interdependent. God said it was not good for man to be alone and that is why he created Eve to be his companion. Marriage also parallels Christ and his bride, the Church. Just like Christ sacrificed himself for his bride, the Church, husbands sacrifice themselves for their wives.
Marriage and love are not superficial like you think. And building each other up with compliments or whatever is part of marriage and love. But you degrade this for some reason. And love also involves self-sacrifice at times and this also can be evident in a marriage at different times. I don't understand people that would rather be single than married.
And I never said I am happy all the time. You are full of assumptions and jabs. Maybe I should call you Mr. Prickles instead of Mr. Smarty Pants.
A
I think that is the main part: remember why you love her and ask God if He wants you to stay with her at this time in her life and your life.
I don't know what God's plan is for your life, but He does. Whenever we feel overwhelmed we can pray and ask Him for guidance and wisdom to do what needs to be done.
I would give her small things to remind her of your love while you have to work or go to school. It doesn't have to be expensive: hand written cards, bonnet of wildflowers, a stuffed animal to cuddle with, a pet?
I don't know whatever that might get her mind off of the cancer, give her a reason to live and remind her of not only your love but God's.
Will pray for you and the others who have posted.
I don't know what God's plan is for your life, but He does. Whenever we feel overwhelmed we can pray and ask Him for guidance and wisdom to do what needs to be done.
I would give her small things to remind her of your love while you have to work or go to school. It doesn't have to be expensive: hand written cards, bonnet of wildflowers, a stuffed animal to cuddle with, a pet?
I don't know whatever that might get her mind off of the cancer, give her a reason to live and remind her of not only your love but God's.
Will pray for you and the others who have posted.