How do I learn to love myself?

[Depleted]

I hear what you are saying but what was your focus?

Having read you testimony your focus wasn't on what you love the most, it was on what you fear the most.

Can you say that the monster that you focused on is the monster you loved the most?

I thank Jesus he has healed you?

I am just surmising here from my own experience and Angelique if I am wrong please let me know and if it adds to something over and above then please forgive me.

I think Angeliques fear is of self hatred (and let's be honest that is what it is) is a bit deeper.

Its I am not lovable, why would someone love me. Let alone God.

Thats her monster, it rides on her back, the little voice that says your useless, why not end it all. Kill yourself. No one loves you anyway. My guess is that she cries herself to sleep sometimes at night.

when she looks in the mirror, what does she see?

A big monster that follows her every step she takes.

What was my focus? Protecting myself at all cost.

It didn't work.

What changed? No more need to run from anything, because God protects me. I could face outward, instead of inward.

Funny thing -- God's protection hasn't made life any easier. He gives me purpose outside of self. No more fear when we don't fear what could go wrong or even what did go wrong. I'm out of that cave and into Daddy's arms. Big arms. I want everyone to join in on the group hug of Daddy's arms.

 

[Depleted]

Yes that is the feeling. I am not mad at nobody. I have forgiven those who hurt me a long long time ago. I was never mad, just sad. Now I am grown I see that everybody has their own struggles. Nobody is perfect and I know my mom did the best she could at that time while dealing with her own problems.
Hurting people often hurt other people. I also forgave my dad.

This bible verse means a lot to me: For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

But that does not take away the feeling of self hate. It's gotten a bit less, but it's still there. It also comes with heavyness. When it was worse I would really get comfort in suicidal thoughts. Knowing if the pain would get too much I could step out. I would think about it al day long and cry all day long. These feelings go deep.

It's like something is broken in me, and I dont know how to heal it completely, nobody can do this for me, but myself. I should be able to, but I can't. I am alive, but I don't feel like it.
I know have to start accepting myself to heal and loving myself but its difficult when you hate yourself.

You're stuck in that blasted cave! You're not crazy. You're right. You can't get out on your own. Find the people who can help you.

Those strangers who became friends? My counselors and other stuck in their caves! Don't buy the lie that you have to fix yourself. If you were the fixer, you wouldn't be broken. Get help! Just don't count on "loving self" as help.

The Bible calls us jars made by the potter. My jar was shattered into a thousand pieces, but the potter is taking the time to glue me back together, instead of tossing me. I still leak, but that's okay. I have my usefulness back. I'm not pretty, (glued together jars aren't pretty), but I have purpose again. It's not an easy process, but it's worth it. Become the jar the potter always planned for you to be, and that starts with getting help regathering the broken pieces.

 

[joefizz]

first off "depleted" I agree with what you have said to help angelique, not to mention giving a well thought out story for her to reflect upon as well,impressive,only trouble is not everyone can see self worth so easily,nor can some see why they are so pestered by not only their past but people in the present too,asking questions like why do people have a problem with me?,why can't I show the emotion of Joy easily?Why do I feel anger yet shyness at the same time?I go through this day in and day out so yep angelique you aren't alone,you say self hate but you really mean you can't find self worth,you can't find motivation to do anything yet you want to do something,it's not hate it's the feeling of loss of importance because in the past you were everyone's tackling dummy so to speak whether verbally or physically and now that this is no longer an ever present issue,you find yourself longing for someone to insult you so you can matter again in the world,or in what you've stated you now hate yourself supposedly by as I said this is not truely self hate,this is a confusion of your role in life for you have become so accustomed to people tearing you down that you now think that you must do the same and that it has to stay apart of your life for you to be able to function as if it is what can comfort you even though it tears you down further,the best answer I can give to change this pattern of yours around is to,try to reach out to people with perhaps a joke or show off what you know about the bible,find something fun to do like a video game to occupy your mind instead of silly thoughts of suicide or self beating up,I myself though I am a christian play beatem up games like samurai warriors or mario,so if I feel down because I feel like I can't do anything I get out a game and beat up the enemies in the games so I get the feeling of that I not only did something when others said I couldn't but also that I could put my anger and depression somewhere other then at myself,others,or even in my own my own head because I've found when you think too much on past stuff the past is like a fish hook,it reels you back in if you let it,because the more you dwell on the past the more nothing will change that you want to change and no I'm not saying you'll just up and forget the past one day by not thinking of it through finding something else to occupy your thoughts(I myself have an extensively good memory that both can help and annoy me) but what I'm really saying here is that the past cannot be changed,your reason for hate is gone,so simply move forward to the future and try something totally new "think for yourself" for from what I can gather from what you've said all the hate you spoke of that is upon you is from things of old not of new and you have been "free" all this time to be "happy" and "share" love instead of wish for it,all that is in your way considering your past is gone,is simply yourself, and seeing as that I'm pretty sure you know yourself,it's no contest you will win because you care enough about yourself to want to change so I'm sure You can come to an agreement with yourself to change seeing as that you decide what you can or cannot do concerning yourself so you are at liberty go for it,dare to have a nice day take the risk,try smiling when you feel down your mouth won't fall off,try laughing when something is funny you may get the hiccups but you won't get a headache,try doing something you really want to do unless of course you disagree with what you and yourself really want to do then in that case play rock,paper,scissors between you and yourself to see who wins then decide what you both really want to do, you might surprise yourself,leave the past where it belongs, buried somewhere... that has moldy cheese,garbage,and everything else that is rotten yesterdays news Laugh Out Loud!!!!! and if you can't do this then ask for God's help for he knows you better than yourself and can help you find a way out of this pit of despair that you have built for yourself,Oh and one more thing...My dear sister I like God, love you just as I love every other child of God,so try to take comfort that at the least,that there are 4 whom care for you,Myself(my name is Joseph) God whom is our father,Jesus whom is our brother,and the holy spirit who is known as the comforter for he can bring to remembrance all the good times in our lives,and can guide us in wisdom to a bright future,All 4 of us care for you and hope that you will let go of the past and embrace the blessings that God has so patiently been waiting to bestow upon you,"ask and it shall be given unto you" "knock and it shall be opened unto you" you have so many blessings and opportunities awaiting you,all that is missing is...YOU!!!!!!

 

[EarnestQ]

first off "depleted" I agree with what you have said to help angelique, not to mention giving a well thought out story for her to reflect upon as well,impressive,only trouble is not everyone can see self worth so easily,nor can some see why they are so pestered by not only their past but people in the present too,asking questions like why do people have a problem with me?,why can't I show the emotion of Joy easily?Why do I feel anger yet shyness at the same time?

I go through this day in and day out so yep angelique you aren't alone,you say self hate but you really mean you can't find self worth,you can't find motivation to do anything yet you want to do something,it's not hate it's the feeling of loss of importance because in the past you were everyone's tackling dummy so to speak whether verbally or physically and now that this is no longer an ever present issue,

you find yourself longing for someone to insult you so you can matter again in the world,or in what you've stated you now hate yourself supposedly by as I said this is not truely self hate,

this is a confusion of your role in life for you have become so accustomed to people tearing you down that you now think that you must do the same and that it has to stay apart of your life for you to be able to function as if it is what can comfort you even though it tears you down further,

the best answer I can give to change this pattern of yours around is to,try to reach out to people with perhaps a joke or show off what you know about the bible,find something fun to do like a video game to occupy your mind instead of silly thoughts of suicide or self beating up,

I myself though I am a christian play beatem up games like samurai warriors or mario,so if I feel down because I feel like I can't do anything I get out a game and beat up the enemies in the games so I get the feeling of that I not only did something when others said I couldn't but also that I could put my anger and depression somewhere other then at myself,others,or even in my own my own head because I've found when you think too much on past stuff the past is like a fish hook,it reels you back in if you let it,because the more you dwell on the past the more nothing will change that you want to change and no I'm not saying you'll just up and forget the past one day by not thinking of it through finding something else to occupy your thoughts

(I myself have an extensively good memory that both can help and annoy me) but what I'm really saying here is that the past cannot be changed,

your reason for hate is gone,so simply move forward to the future and try something totally new "think for yourself" for from what I can gather from what you've said all the hate you spoke of that is upon you is from things of old not of new and you have been "free" all this time to be "happy" and "share" love instead of wish for it,

all that is in your way considering your past is gone,is simply yourself, and seeing as that I'm pretty sure you know yourself,it's no contest you will win because you care enough about yourself to want to change so I'm sure You can come to an agreement with yourself to change seeing as that you decide what you can or cannot do concerning yourself so you are at liberty go for it,

dare to have a nice day take the risk,try smiling when you feel down your mouth won't fall off,try laughing when something is funny you may get the hiccups but you won't get a headache,

try doing something you really want to do unless of course you disagree with what you and yourself really want to do then in that case play rock,paper,scissors between you and yourself to see who wins then decide what you both really want to do, you might surprise yourself,

leave the past where it belongs, buried somewhere... that has moldy cheese,garbage,and everything else that is rotten yesterdays news Laugh Out Loud!!!!! and if you can't do this then ask for God's help for he knows you better than yourself and can help you find a way out of this pit of despair that you have built for yourself,

Oh and one more thing...My dear sister I like God, love you just as I love every other child of God,so try to take comfort that at the least,that there are 4 whom care for you,Myself(my name is Joseph) God whom is our father,Jesus whom is our brother,and the holy spirit who is known as the comforter for he can bring to remembrance all the good times in our lives,and can guide us in wisdom to a bright future,

All 4 of us care for you and hope that you will let go of the past and embrace the blessings that God has so patiently been waiting to bestow upon you,"ask and it shall be given unto you" "knock and it shall be opened unto you" you have so many blessings and opportunities awaiting you,all that is missing is...YOU!!!!!!

When writing it is proper to use paragraphs, Capital letters at the beginning of sentences and a period and a space after each sentence. lol

 

[kaylagrl]

When writing it is proper to use paragraphs, Capital letters at the beginning of sentences and a period and a space after each sentence. lol

Seriously! Way to hard to try and read!

 

[EarnestQ]

And a space after each comma.

 

[Reg53]

Im dealing with this a long time. I dont like myself. Thats why I am dealing with depression. I did not have wonderfull childhood. My mom always said when I was a child: you take up all the energy of people. So I am always afraid things will go wrong with the people I love. I am always scared to be abanded. My father left us. My mother always said he did not wanted me and wanted an abortion, but she did want me. She told me this when I was a child. I did not have a nice childhood. I remember my mother was mad when I did nothing. I would always be carfeful with what I said because she could misunderstood and be mad. She would trow things at me etc. But I know she did the best she could, because she had her own problems.

But now I am a grownup and I still deal with these feelings. I used to be very suïcidal, thinking of suïcide a couple of times a day. But Im proud I never tried it. But the suicidal feeling is a feeling of comfort. If it gets to difficult I can step out.

So how do I learn to love myself?
I would appreciate prayers too.

Do stuff that make you happy, take about 2 weeks, or a month and go abroad. Do stuff, visit places and enjoy yourself. If you have no money, just go out, do stuff you enjoy, go on walks, go for a run. Then keep doing the stuff you enjoy. Start reading books, watching interesting things on tv

What you need is to turn your life around. Pray to God and beg him for it, also don't focus so much on the negatives. You must learn to be happy by doing stuff. Work out, it costs nothing to do it at home. Go for walks, jogs, runs, etc. mountains, beaches, whatever is in your area. And if you have the money, go to the cinema, go bowling, go karting, paintball, maybe even go abroad. Life is full of surprises and adventures. But for now, watch a good comedy which will cheer you up and make you happy

 

[srlrl]

Hello!

I've been there, I know how it feels... It's hard to move past some things but never underestimate the power of God
My advice would be for you to pray. Go to God's presence and share with Him all the stuff you are suffering. Because He listens and He will take care of you! Just be patient and He will work on you in a way that the love He makes you feel is so warm, that it changes you.

Other advice, is also going to a professional, that can also help you a bit. Mental health is as important as physical health.

I will pray for you!

 

[slave]

Thank you for your comment. But I can tell you its not self love. I wish it was. It's more like self hate. You don't understand, but thanks anyway for taking the time to replay

So, you are at a crossroads to success. Will you accept God's version of self-love? Or are you wanting to find self-worth in selfish endeavors? You must choose one or the other.

God opposes the flesh so drastically because He knows its actual condition thoroughly. He desires His children to be released completely from the old creation and enter fully upon the new in experience. Whether good or bad, flesh is still flesh. The difference between the good, which proceeds from the flesh, and the good that flows from the new life is that the flesh always has self at its center. It is my self who can perform and does perform good without the need of trusting in the Holy Spirit, without the necessity of being humble, of waiting on God, or of praying to God. Since it is I who wills and thinks and does without the need of God and who consequently considers how improved I am or how truly a somebody I have now become through my own efforts, is it not inevitable that I shall ascribe glory to myself?

Obviously such deeds do not bring people to God; instead they puff up the self. God wants everyone to come to Him in a spirit of utter dependency, completely submissive to His Holy Spirit, and humbly waiting upon Him. Any good of the flesh, which revolves around self, is an abomination in the sight of God, for it does not proceed from the Spirit of the life of the Lord Jesus but is of self and glorifies self.

To self love yourself, you need to be properly aligned with God in a love relationship. Then the miracle of Christ found in you, will equate to the worth of yourself, and in loving yourself, you, then, will be loving the New Creation of yourself, which is Christ in you. Scripture gives us many examples of this: Matt.10:39; Matt. 16:25; Mark 8:35; and this one which I will use in the VOICE paraphrase:

"If you try to avoid danger and risk, then you will lose everything. If you let go of your life and risk all for My sake, then your life will be rescued, healed, made whole and full." (Luke 9:24).

Loving yourself is indeed a process, so relax! God has your back if you come to this life's crossroads and decide to follow Jesus. For your life ..."will be MADE whole and full." So, to die is gain, and to live is Christ Jesus Our Lord. Let Him show you His immeasurable love. Let Him make you whole. If you do you will be like all of us who claim life in Christ Jesus; in that our self-worth is in His Self-Worth. Amen! (Let it be so)...This is not a therapy, this is a crossroads in your life.

 

[slave]

".....I will pray for you indeed!, but I also invite you to making some crossroad decisions in prayer as well.... If you ever want to do so, there are many here who you may feel more comfortable to do that with, but I am, as well, always available to pray with you anytime.

Reach out, to God, and He will be your loving (Abba) Father! Discuss with other Christians and discover even more about the truths of God concerning loving yourself. But, the Holy Spirit desires to give you the answers directly as well.

"Father touch your Child's life today: Angelique, bring her decisions to a place of fully letting go of her life. Father show her Your love and open the door to your Holy Spirit in way of a personal walk with You thru righteousness. I pray that You rescue her from the pain within of self-loathing, heal her of the cultural difficulties she has faced that are real but which You can resolve, make her whole in a right relationship with You Lord, and fill her cup to over-flowing, which you promise to give her; Thank You Lord for what You are about to do in Angelique's life and I pray this in Your Precious Name Lord, AMEN!" May God richly Bless and keep you! Pray about all this.....He is always near!

 

[joefizz]

earnest and kayla cut me some slack I didn't go through all the trouble of graduating high school to do use all that annoying punctuation when on a site like this because I try to give the impression that I am speaking not some English fanatic,yeah I'm a slight perfectionist but even I realize that overdoing things for the sake of being "proper" can be a headache not to mention that I'm using a "phone"not a "computer" to chat with all of you on here so it's kind of a no brainer that I won't capitalize or properly punctuate "everything" especially since I like being on here to "help" people out not "stress" myself out,and besides if all you can focus on is my mistakes concerning punctuation or capitalization then that is not only rather "prejudice"(not everyone is a genius) and giving the impression that you care to read only what someone has to say if they punctuate or capitalize to what you "think" the standard should be for each person and that rules out some people that may not have that great an english education and are trying to seek "answers" not "lectures" because "All people are "Different" so word of advise actually "think" about who you may "HURT" before you open "WIDE"your mouths with such glee and judging so to speak because believe it or not people have "FEELINGS" and I would hope that you wouldn't want to "Run" anyone off from this chat site because it a place for everyone to come "TOGETHER" in hopes of friendship,compassion,understanding,and be "Welcomed" not Shunned" and no I don't direct this just at you there a more that do this and whether or not they realize such folly in being so rash as to pester someone or worse yet harass someone over how they type their questions or answers on here is something they"ll have to own up to someday for this is to be "A FAMILY environment" not a place for "Emotionally Hurting" others so please get a hold of yourselves and follow God not yourself to what is right to say because if you are "truely" saved you will seek to hold your tongue where need be or better yet have God hold it for you instead of lashing it about defiantly and venomously and yes this applies to typing on here too,for "from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh" and what you say toward others shouldn't be so quickly said with self assurance and pride because if God isn't apart of what you do or say then it is not a righteous act it is a self righteous and I'll keep saying this forever if I have to"self righteousness is as filthy rags" so please don't let "Education" deceive you into being unwittingly ignorant of what "Hurt" you may inflict on others because though you may want to"Teach" others, you must have a sense of "Caring" alongside this otherwise despite your "Education" you will inevitably "Teach" nothing to noone for who shall listen to one who is so focused on gloating of what they have learnt?Instead of taking the "Time" to "Teach" others what you would like to with"Understanding" not"Demands".

 

[resurrection33]

earnest and kayla cut me some slack I didn't go through all the trouble of graduating high school to do use all that annoying punctuation when on a site like this because I try to give the impression that I am speaking not some English fanatic,yeah I'm a slight perfectionist but even I realize that overdoing things for the sake of being "proper" can be a headache not to mention that I'm using a "phone"not a "computer" to chat with all of you on here so it's kind of a no brainer that I won't capitalize or properly punctuate "everything" especially since I like being on here to "help" people out not "stress" myself out,and besides if all you can focus on is my mistakes concerning punctuation or capitalization then that is not only rather "prejudice"(not everyone is a genius) and giving the impression that you care to read only what someone has to say if they punctuate or capitalize to what you "think" the standard should be for each person and that rules out some people that may not have that great an english education and are trying to seek "answers" not "lectures" because "All people are "Different" so word of advise actually "think" about who you may "HURT" before you open "WIDE"your mouths with such glee and judging so to speak because believe it or not people have "FEELINGS" and I would hope that you wouldn't want to "Run" anyone off from this chat site because it a place for everyone to come "TOGETHER" in hopes of friendship,compassion,understanding,and be "Welcomed" not Shunned" and no I don't direct this just at you there a more that do this and whether or not they realize such folly in being so rash as to pester someone or worse yet harass someone over how they type their questions or answers on here is something they"ll have to own up to someday for this is to be "A FAMILY environment" not a place for "Emotionally Hurting" others so please get a hold of yourselves and follow God not yourself to what is right to say because if you are "truely" saved you will seek to hold your tongue where need be or better yet have God hold it for you instead of lashing it about defiantly and venomously and yes this applies to typing on here too,for "from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh" and what you say toward others shouldn't be so quickly said with self assurance and pride because if God isn't apart of what you do or say then it is not a righteous act it is a self righteous and I'll keep saying this forever if I have to"self righteousness is as filthy rags" so please don't let "Education" deceive you into being unwittingly ignorant of what "Hurt" you may inflict on others because though you may want to"Teach" others, you must have a sense of "Caring" alongside this otherwise despite your "Education" you will inevitably "Teach" nothing to noone for who shall listen to one who is so focused on gloating of what they have learnt?Instead of taking the "Time" to "Teach" others what you would like to with"Understanding" not"Demands".

Well, it is difficult to read a post like this and probably most people won't. But it's always up to you.

 

[joefizz]

Yep ,resurrection 33,each to their own ideals,that's what I like in life meeting new friends finding middle ground but also interesting differences along the way!

 

[Jeshuvan]

Romans 8:37-39 Hi see,think and love yourself as God,he created you.He doesnt make mistakes.To him your a treasure,very important,useful,for his great plan.Jeremiah 29:11-13.Stop listening to satans lies about you.Just know that God is love,his love towards all is agape,unconditional love.Study the bible and u will stop being lead by your feeling and be leead by the truth of Gods Word=Bible.God Bless hope this helped u Jeshuvan.

 

[sujatha]

DON'T HATE YOURSELF.

 

[slave]

So, it's simple but extremely committal.

To learn to love yourself one needs to place their foundational premise in living in and thru Christ. Thus, also realizing that your flesh died on the Cross with Christ; and now the commitment part, scratch that; the extreme commitment part!! - you must use your own will to die to the right to yourself, yet still, even though you understand and believe your flesh was put to death on the Cross of Christ.. You must commit to living according to the Spirit and not live by the flesh at all! Ever again!

Ouch! Right?! Yep, that's a very loving thing to do for yourself, despite the kick in the teeth it gives you at first.... For now your life and reasonings in association to having real insight into yourself will change from your intellect and wisdom, to His real intellect, which is not at all the same as your own reasoning, and His Wisdom that blows common sense out the door! So, literally your life itself will change completely as well as your view on loving yourself.. So, to get to your answer successfully, you will have to go thru the totality of this process. Otherwise you will just be putting bandaids on a death wound.

In baptism we acknowledge our death, and also a New reborn life given to us thru believing and receiving Christ into our lives and following up with living by way of the Holy Spirit and living in our newly enlivened spirit over the (still and always dead) flesh. We are announcing our tearing up of our World System-club membership card we have so long been apart of so far, and staking a claim on the one hand, and disemboweling our connection to the other. The death, and evil influences are yet around but not in power; namely our flesh, and the anti-god spirit (satan).

Jesus says, "I am the way, the Truth, and the Life...So in everything our body now does and is given to is what the Holy Spirit directs us to do by way of intuition and by way of His Word coupled by our intuition of the Holy Spirit which resides within our deepest part of our lives, our spirit.His Word is active and alive able to separate Spirit and soul (Soul, being the part of yourself that is yourself in emotion, and volitional will, and thinking) . Thus, in essence, the Word bears life.. The word: Teaches us, and rebukes us, and corrects us, and trains us. As we hear, and read, and study and apply, and memorize, and meditate on His Word we are transformed in thought and in deeds.

We go to put to death the things of the flesh now as our goal, and practice getting better unto good at living by way of our spirit giving transformative differences to our body thru the control of the Holy Spirits guidance. You see there is now a spiritual battle going on for your soul. satan wants it back, and for you to live by the flesh, (the dead flesh), and not by another spirt's ownership you will return to the old contract of sin immediately. So, understanding you were bought at a price, God owns you, but God is not satan, He will give you life and that more abundantly. He will give you His Best and will never settle for your good enough, expecting you now to live by The Holy Spirit guiding your spirit only..

Naughty Flesh! Actually evil flesh and anti-god spirit! ...You two get back down there ya here?! Smile.

So, to love myself will never be able to be said as such: "I have self-love." For loving oneself is never to be found in self at all. But to be given a New life in Christ, His love replaces self love and all that He is in me, thus, you become Christ-like, and therefore lovable, very well deserving to love yourself as in boasting in the Lord.. -

One must die to the right to yourself and let God love you His way over your own way, creating a properly aligned love which is worthy of loving yourself in Christ. We must all love ourselves in this way. It is as easy as that in doctrine, but in practice and experience it is grueling and tumultuous, yet all the while God will give you peace and confidence in Himself and in His purposes and intentions. It's a transference process, and a transformational process. the actual committing to that plan or not in you will be tested, and yet thru those tests you will grow in perseverance and Character as well in Christ. Your New Creation will begin to shine, your re-birth will be less and less remorseful of the loss of your old dead man, and you will be more and more delighted with the New man (or woman); even to the point of loving dearly yourself!

So, get that self-love a going ! Smile.

 

[AlexCalbee]

Hi Angelique,

I believe the answer to your question is "Finding your Identity in Christ". Here are a few things that God declares about you, His child, which may be a good start in your journey to finding your identity in Christ.

1. You are Valuable
2. You are New
3. You have My Spirit
4. You will be transformed
5. You represent me

This article expands on these points : What God Thinks About You | Desiring God

Btw, Desiring God is an awesome online resource for almost any topic you want to read on. And John Piper's theological stands are very biblical and solid.

Take care,
Alex

 

[Angelique]

So, it's simple but extremely committal.

To learn to love yourself one needs to place their foundational premise in living in and thru Christ. Thus, also realizing that your flesh died on the Cross with Christ; and now the commitment part, scratch that; the extreme commitment part!! - you must use your own will to die to the right to yourself, yet still, even though you understand and believe your flesh was put to death on the Cross of Christ.. You must commit to living according to the Spirit and not live by the flesh at all! Ever again!

Ouch! Right?! Yep, that's a very loving thing to do for yourself, despite the kick in the teeth it gives you at first.... For now your life and reasonings in association to having real insight into yourself will change from your intellect and wisdom, to His real intellect, which is not at all the same as your own reasoning, and His Wisdom that blows common sense out the door! So, literally your life itself will change completely as well as your view on loving yourself.. So, to get to your answer successfully, you will have to go thru the totality of this process. Otherwise you will just be putting bandaids on a death wound.

In baptism we acknowledge our death, and also a New reborn life given to us thru believing and receiving Christ into our lives and following up with living by way of the Holy Spirit and living in our newly enlivened spirit over the (still and always dead) flesh. We are announcing our tearing up of our World System-club membership card we have so long been apart of so far, and staking a claim on the one hand, and disemboweling our connection to the other. The death, and evil influences are yet around but not in power; namely our flesh, and the anti-god spirit (satan).

Jesus says, "I am the way, the Truth, and the Life...So in everything our body now does and is given to is what the Holy Spirit directs us to do by way of intuition and by way of His Word coupled by our intuition of the Holy Spirit which resides within our deepest part of our lives, our spirit.His Word is active and alive able to separate Spirit and soul (Soul, being the part of yourself that is yourself in emotion, and volitional will, and thinking) . Thus, in essence, the Word bears life.. The word: Teaches us, and rebukes us, and corrects us, and trains us. As we hear, and read, and study and apply, and memorize, and meditate on His Word we are transformed in thought and in deeds.

We go to put to death the things of the flesh now as our goal, and practice getting better unto good at living by way of our spirit giving transformative differences to our body thru the control of the Holy Spirits guidance. You see there is now a spiritual battle going on for your soul. satan wants it back, and for you to live by the flesh, (the dead flesh), and not by another spirt's ownership you will return to the old contract of sin immediately. So, understanding you were bought at a price, God owns you, but God is not satan, He will give you life and that more abundantly. He will give you His Best and will never settle for your good enough, expecting you now to live by The Holy Spirit guiding your spirit only..

Naughty Flesh! Actually evil flesh and anti-god spirit! ...You two get back down there ya here?! Smile.

So, to love myself will never be able to be said as such: "I have self-love." For loving oneself is never to be found in self at all. But to be given a New life in Christ, His love replaces self love and all that He is in me, thus, you become Christ-like, and therefore lovable, very well deserving to love yourself as in boasting in the Lord.. -

One must die to the right to yourself and let God love you His way over your own way, creating a properly aligned love which is worthy of loving yourself in Christ. We must all love ourselves in this way. It is as easy as that in doctrine, but in practice and experience it is grueling and tumultuous, yet all the while God will give you peace and confidence in Himself and in His purposes and intentions. It's a transference process, and a transformational process. the actual committing to that plan or not in you will be tested, and yet thru those tests you will grow in perseverance and Character as well in Christ. Your New Creation will begin to shine, your re-birth will be less and less remorseful of the loss of your old dead man, and you will be more and more delighted with the New man (or woman); even to the point of loving dearly yourself!

So, get that self-love a going ! Smile.

Thank you. I sometimes go back and read the answers again, just like today. They give me strenght. I understand what you are saying. Focus on Jesus his Love and let him love me. His love replaces self love and is healing.

 

[Angelique]

Hi Angelique,

I believe the answer to your question is "Finding your Identity in Christ". Here are a few things that God declares about you, His child, which may be a good start in your journey to finding your identity in Christ.

1. You are Valuable
2. You are New
3. You have My Spirit
4. You will be transformed
5. You represent me

This article expands on these points : What God Thinks About You | Desiring God

Btw, Desiring God is an awesome online resource for almost any topic you want to read on. And John Piper's theological stands are very biblical and solid.

Take care,
Alex

Thank you! Great article. I have to find myself in Christ.

 

[kaijo]

I think you learn to be content with yourself when you manage to overcome certain things about yourself, that you feel are an offence to God. But, only "you" know what those things are. And its the same of each of us.