One thing you need to do is to resolve that you won't depend on your wife for how you feel about yourself and your spiritual life. Your relationship with the Lord does not depend on her affirmation. I know it is good to have some unity in this area and affirmation from yoru wife.
I can't say I have experienced the exact same thing, but my wife has gone through phases where she had a similar attitude. She'd have a negative attitude toward me and want to talk about her problems with me when I tried to go to sleep at night. That sort of formula can easily turn into an argument. Sometimes it did. Sometimes it was just torture for me. She went through a phase like this when she was pregnant and kind of hormonal. She'd get upset at comments that weren't negative in the least and it was hard for me. I'm sure it was hard for her.
She blew up one night, and I prayed this long list of things I wanted God to speak to her about. She went to a Bible study one night and came home and invited me to talk with her. I wondered if she wanted to complain or argue again. She seemed sweet, though. She told me I was a good husband and praised me in other ways, and then said the Lord has spoken to her that night, and went through a list of nearly a half-dozen detailed things I'd asked the Lord to speak to her about, including her negative attitude toward me. It was so detailed that it was quite amazing. Without my bringing them up, within several weeks, she said the Lord spoke to her correcting her about the other things on her list. This was a time of heart-felt repentence for her, where she'd even stand around crying and I'd ask her why, and she'd remember some harsh thing she'd said to me and ask for forgiveness.
When I prayed that night, I argued my case before the Lord. I told Him I did not believe that it was His will for His daughter to do these things and argued my case why. I told Him that whatsoever things we have when we pray, we know that we have them, and I knew I had what I'd asked for and that He'd do it. And I really believed it. I did, but I was still amazed at how detailed the prayer was. And our relationship has been better since. I can't say there haven't been any hicups and minor relapses on her part on these issues. There have, but things have bounced back, at least to a great degree, when that happened.
Don't be too timid to correct your wife. You can point out that love believes all things. Her attitude that you are going to fall again is a really bad attitude, and can hinder you.... at least if you believe it. Don't believe this sort of thing. You can't allow your faith to be effected by this stuff. And don't be afraid to call her on the garbage that comes out of her mouth. You've got to be sensitive and wise about confronting and correcting. Think of it as your being a role model for her in doing these things, so don't be harsh.
I know it can be tough if your wife is critical of you and gets really upset over something small or basically nothing. It can be some tone of voice she claims you had that you didn't perceive yourself. I remember my wife getting upset over that in the past and not relenting when I apologized if I'd spoken harshly. Pettiness and unforgiveness can be a difficult combination for the other partner. I'm very thankful to the Lord for breaking my wife out of that. She had a bit of a bout with it a while back when she was going through a time of stress. It lasted for a few days. On my end, I'd get irritated with her attitude and I probably was talking too harshly to her. She didn't like being ignored. That was how I dealt with it. I didn't want to talk (or hear a long speech) if it was petty and critical from my perspective, especially at bed time. Some of these things are more likely to happen at certain times of the month than others, or during times of stress, and those sorts of things have gotten better over time.
A really good thing about my wife is that she really wants to be right with the Lord. When we had this problem recently, we had a good long talk and prayed and humbled ourselves and asked the Lord to help us. At one point when speaking to her, I remembered her of her past repentence and how it is draining and damaging to deal with someone who is constantly critical. I pointed out some things that weren't really true that she said, overgeneralizations, and the light bulb clicked. We both and confessed our part of it. I confessed speaking to her harshly. Avoiding conversation made her feel undervalued. She was able to repent for her attitude toward me, by God's grace, and we got out of that cycle.
I've found it is very useful to have times of real prayer together like this where get beyond just saying some words when praying about it, and you ask the Lord to help you sort out the problem. Then you humble yourselves and confess your sins and reconcile. It can really break that cycle of her being critical, and you (possibly) responding harshly, ignoring her, or being critical back, if you fall into such a pattern. Responding that way can make her more critical and it goes on and on.
I can't say I have experienced the exact same thing, but my wife has gone through phases where she had a similar attitude. She'd have a negative attitude toward me and want to talk about her problems with me when I tried to go to sleep at night. That sort of formula can easily turn into an argument. Sometimes it did. Sometimes it was just torture for me. She went through a phase like this when she was pregnant and kind of hormonal. She'd get upset at comments that weren't negative in the least and it was hard for me. I'm sure it was hard for her.
She blew up one night, and I prayed this long list of things I wanted God to speak to her about. She went to a Bible study one night and came home and invited me to talk with her. I wondered if she wanted to complain or argue again. She seemed sweet, though. She told me I was a good husband and praised me in other ways, and then said the Lord has spoken to her that night, and went through a list of nearly a half-dozen detailed things I'd asked the Lord to speak to her about, including her negative attitude toward me. It was so detailed that it was quite amazing. Without my bringing them up, within several weeks, she said the Lord spoke to her correcting her about the other things on her list. This was a time of heart-felt repentence for her, where she'd even stand around crying and I'd ask her why, and she'd remember some harsh thing she'd said to me and ask for forgiveness.
When I prayed that night, I argued my case before the Lord. I told Him I did not believe that it was His will for His daughter to do these things and argued my case why. I told Him that whatsoever things we have when we pray, we know that we have them, and I knew I had what I'd asked for and that He'd do it. And I really believed it. I did, but I was still amazed at how detailed the prayer was. And our relationship has been better since. I can't say there haven't been any hicups and minor relapses on her part on these issues. There have, but things have bounced back, at least to a great degree, when that happened.
Don't be too timid to correct your wife. You can point out that love believes all things. Her attitude that you are going to fall again is a really bad attitude, and can hinder you.... at least if you believe it. Don't believe this sort of thing. You can't allow your faith to be effected by this stuff. And don't be afraid to call her on the garbage that comes out of her mouth. You've got to be sensitive and wise about confronting and correcting. Think of it as your being a role model for her in doing these things, so don't be harsh.
I know it can be tough if your wife is critical of you and gets really upset over something small or basically nothing. It can be some tone of voice she claims you had that you didn't perceive yourself. I remember my wife getting upset over that in the past and not relenting when I apologized if I'd spoken harshly. Pettiness and unforgiveness can be a difficult combination for the other partner. I'm very thankful to the Lord for breaking my wife out of that. She had a bit of a bout with it a while back when she was going through a time of stress. It lasted for a few days. On my end, I'd get irritated with her attitude and I probably was talking too harshly to her. She didn't like being ignored. That was how I dealt with it. I didn't want to talk (or hear a long speech) if it was petty and critical from my perspective, especially at bed time. Some of these things are more likely to happen at certain times of the month than others, or during times of stress, and those sorts of things have gotten better over time.
A really good thing about my wife is that she really wants to be right with the Lord. When we had this problem recently, we had a good long talk and prayed and humbled ourselves and asked the Lord to help us. At one point when speaking to her, I remembered her of her past repentence and how it is draining and damaging to deal with someone who is constantly critical. I pointed out some things that weren't really true that she said, overgeneralizations, and the light bulb clicked. We both and confessed our part of it. I confessed speaking to her harshly. Avoiding conversation made her feel undervalued. She was able to repent for her attitude toward me, by God's grace, and we got out of that cycle.
I've found it is very useful to have times of real prayer together like this where get beyond just saying some words when praying about it, and you ask the Lord to help you sort out the problem. Then you humble yourselves and confess your sins and reconcile. It can really break that cycle of her being critical, and you (possibly) responding harshly, ignoring her, or being critical back, if you fall into such a pattern. Responding that way can make her more critical and it goes on and on.