Husband addicted to Porn

[Crossfire]

jesus weeps as we do, porn is such an addiction in the world. maybe you can talk to him about how he would like it if his daughter or son were into pornography. Pray for him anf yourself to stay strong and be willing yourself to follow gods will whatever sacrifice he requests of us is for our joy and health in the long run good luck and god bless unicorn 22

Exactly. Since your husband doesn't not want to talk about it openly, then write him a letter, seal it, and put it someplace where only he will find it and be able to read it in confidence.

In this letter you need to put aside both your 'needs' and his 'needs' and focus squarely on the children. I would ask your husband to think back how he first got involved with porn. Chances are that he got involved because either because he discovered his father's porn or because he was exposed to porn by a friend or family member who discovered their father's porn. Either way, the simple fact is one day your children will either discover their dad's porn or discover the means in which their dad is viewing porn and become addicted themselves. The children of porn addicts almost always become porn addicts themselves. Do your research and present him with the facts / statistics concerning this thing.

If he's unwilling to put his children before his addiction then there's a serious problem that needs to be addressed. He's clearly in sin thus his relationship with God (if any) is in serious jeopardy. In the eyes of God pornography is no different than committing adultery thus his marriage is in jeopardy. Maybe if he understands how this effects his children now (because of the marriage being in shambles) and how it could enslave his children in the future, might change his perspective. God forbid your children discover this junk and enslaved by it, by someone getting pregnant young or someone getting raped or committing rape.

 

[Crossfire]

if your husband truly wanted help he could go to God would gladly break him free from this addiction. He has set me and millions of others free.its a matter of choice if your husband wants to change or not.... Continue to pray and love thats all you can do.But dont give up trust in God!!!!

Amen to that!

 

[GodsavemeifyoureallyExist]

I will never understand whats so bad about porn its only people having sex... is it because its called porn or

something? people have sex everyday anyway whether you watch them have it or not there still having it so

whats the big deal omg there having sex!!! wow this is so bad please?

 

[dishchat]

Have faith in God.He will answer you. All things are possible if you beleive. Talk to your Pastor as he is responsible for you. He will help you

 

[SpaceCowboy]

First and foremost,
Is he a believer?

 

[RebuildMe]

The Solution to this Problem is Jesus Christ, if your Husband Heart has been Hardened, his Pleasure in Deepend, Nourished, if the Conviction of the Holy Spirit has been seized, if he has become blind to the Penalty of that Sin ect...and maybe even much more.....the Alpha and Omega is Jesus Christ himself.

He must Turn to Jesus Christ, and as soon as he will....he will find Salvation. But how can you -wife- lead someone to Jesus Christ assuming that that person will not listen to you, and more so do these things in secret, i can even imagine that your Influence on and in him has Decreased.

Here are some things you may do, if you Believe, if you have Faith, some even make commone Sense.

You may -Bless-, -Pray- over certain Objects, either be his Mobile Phone, Computer ect...things that belong to him. You may point to that Object or Hold your Hands over it to pray over it in such manner -Lord Jesus Christ this tool has and is being used to Destroy my Husband and has brought sin into our lives- Now here is the Key Part -LORD JESUS CHRIST I PRAY THAT EVERYTIME HE WATCHES THESE MOVIES YOU WILL CONVICT OF HIS SIN - Mam, you may, by Faith in Jesus Christ turn such Objects or any Objects, pack of Ciggarettes, Pack of Sixers -Beer- into a Thorn in the Flesh.

Most man/women will only turn towards the Lord Jesus Christ as soon as there Pleasure become Pain onto Themselfs.



I will pray for the Both of you.

 

[Asianplum]

My church just finished a series on Sex, Love, Marriage does the order matter. One of the sermons covered this topic. Here is the link. When you click on it you need to click on the broken paper to view the video. Hope it helps.

Program Landing (Riverside Church MN)

 

[Ronin]

Wow. Unless you have walked a mile in this mans shoes you can not understand. Vader said it best you don't know the power of the dark side. Its true. It starts innocently and spirals out of control. What the point of fact is if you put an ultimatum you will not like the outcome. HE himself has to see it as a problem and seek help. And the porn isn't the problem the problem like all addictions lies deeper in the person. Like all addictions its a self medication to hide a deeper more complicated pain that has been carried for years and years. For many it was to cope with the pain of the past and if you dig deep enough it is usually in the realms of sex. First its a curiosity then an outlet. But it truly numbs you. In any case you both have to sit down and talk about it seriously with a pastor or some counselor. But until he sees it and realizes that there is a problem the problem will not be solved, and I say again the problem will be much deeper than the outlet, just so you know.

 

[alexiblue]

Hi, I'm really surprised that no-one has mentioned this, especially since you said that your husband doesn't want to meet anyone in person. That is a problem, and it stems from pride, and has to be over come. But until then: something in between my work as well. This website has been a great help to myself and many others--no personal meetings, but completely Bible-based, and involves a heart-change and devoting one's life to God, instead of self. He would still have to admit that he has a problem first, which isn't easy either...
Freedom from habitual sin: Overeating, Pornography, Smoking, Drinking

Praying for you both.

-David

 

[agentle]

This is a heart wrenching situation for you and I have heard of many similar situations. Quite often the wife wants so much to continue the relationship, for fear of divorce, that they will hang on by doing what ever is necessary to hang on. Probably the first thing to do is re discover your first love - Jesus Christ and put all your hope and security in Him alone. He will provide your needs. Secondly pray against the demomnic forces that are causing your hubby to be doing these things he is doing. Thirdly ask someone close to be there to support you and help you. And finally since your husband doesn't want to a counselor I would get your husband our Self Help Manual that help men overcome porn viewing/addiction. You can get this at, www.savethesource.org/resources.html . This will definitely help him but make sure you get support and help too. Pray for your children. Cheers

 

[Tommy4Christ]

I'm so lost right now! My husband has been dealing with porn for as long as I have known him. He is secretive about things that I don't agree with him doing (buying lottery tickets when we don't have any money, watching pornography on his phone, even little things that shouldn't even matter). I have become a very overbearing while due to my lost of trust of him. My heart is literally broken, Im dealing with depression due to this. He use to talk with me about this issue and for awhile I believed he was being honest with me. But, then he started to become more distant. I bring it up and he just doesn't answer my questions, he wont even discuss it. Whenever we would have any sexual relations it was all about pleasing him immediately. There was absolutely no satisfaction, or even sense in pleasing me. I have loved my husband since the first day I met him, we have two beautiful children together. But, I can't live like this. If he is not willing to change, when should I say enough is enough? He absolutely refuses counseling due to being embarressed, he doesn't believe it is anyone elses business.

I don't send this to be harsh in any way, what you are describing it the Norm in modern Christianity today, and most of the responses here will do nothing to bring your husband out of his vile sins. Your churches are to blame, you go to church, you say the sinners prayer, then presto you are saved, and on your way to heaven, then if you have any vile addictions, such as porn watching, God forgives you, but you must join a focus group, or Promise Keepers group, or go to a counselor, etc,, then hopefully he will get better, well I will tell you from experience, I was a pron addict for over 30 years, was saved so I thought still watching porn, because my leaders told me, I was born a sinner, could not possible stop my vile sins, but you just must be willing to stop them and get help, either way I was still in my sins, and on my way to hell, until I realized what, Paul meant, in1I Cor 6-9-11. Do not take the advise of those in the church system that tell you you are saved In your sins, or that you are eternally secure, or that Jesus was your substitute. Paul is clear, the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God, porn watchers, must go back and do their first works, which is genuine repentance, 2 Cor 7-10-11, Acts, 2-19, Isa, 55-7, Luke, 13-3 and 5, and many more. The vile sins must stop in repentance before mercy will be granted, your husband doesn't need a study course, he needs to fear God, repent and live! He must cut his sin out at the root(will never grow back) this all comes from true humility and brokenness, followed by a clearing of all vile sins, and don't let anyone tell you to feel sorry for him because he was born with this addiction, hogwash, he is choosing his flesh over God, and you, he is selfish, double minded, and has free will and ability to be a man an repent, seek the mercy of God, as the whole city of Nineveh did, make amends with you and your family, another words, he must prove his repentance and is clear of the matter, he is in jeopardy of loosing his soul, the sexually immoral wont enter into the kingdom, not will any of the other vile sins. The church today doesn't teach the fear of God or true biblical repentance as presented throughout the book of Acts, its all come as you are, and hope God will clean you up, No He is waiting for your husband and the sinning masses to repent, first, seek His mercy, and hope he relents. Apart from this, your husband, will just put a small bandage on a huge cancer, we must crucify the flesh with Christ, Gal 2-20, in repentance first, touch the blood of Christ as our sin offering, Heb 9-14, not our replacement, stop the sin, then walk in purity of heart, not perfection. If he doesn't clear himself in repentance first, then he will never be able to stop his addiction, yes God will help, but only when we do our part, seek his mercy, fall on our face in humility, and anguish, godly sorrow, it may take him some time, but if he takes that step in repentance towards God, God will reach out to Him, meet Him where he is at, and give him all the strength he needs to put his porn addiction to death! thus he becomes a new creation, 2 Cor 5-17, you cannot keep the old man alive(flesh)it must be put to death with Christ in repentance, or it will never die. I give all the glory to God, I have been porn free for many years now, but I must constantly guard my heart, stand fast, abstain from all forms of evil, keep my eye on the prize, and walk a walk worthy of my calling. I will pray for you and your husband, I know what I wrote is harsh, and you wont hear this coming from modern Christianity and the church system today, remember, Jesus said, the few of the few will be saved, you must strive and agonize to enter the narrow gate, osas is a lie from the pit, leading millions into perdition! Luke 13-24.

Love in Christ,
Tommy
1Co 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor abusers, nor homosexuals,
1Co 6:10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

 

[greatblue]

This was posted 12 days ago and the OP hasn't returned. I want to comment on a few things.

The damage was done in the garden of Eden. It is actually our awareness of our nakedness that is first generated by the fall, and this is also the change that draws God's eyes to our fallen state. So why is that important?

God's gift to us is procreation. We are created in His image yes, but we are also carrying His creative seed power within us. He chose us as the vehicle to duplicate His creative process of mankind, and through our sexual union. And, of all the devil's footholds, this has been his greatest. satan camped all of his forces at the root of human sexuality and said, "this is where i hurt God the most." Of course, we know this because our Savior was born a sinless birth, which makes him God's new vehicle for the new sinless creation that we who believe are becoming and will eventual become.

For any believers fighting with sexual sins, the answer is in the light of Jesus Christ. Confess, repent, tell someone else so they can pray for you, remind you of what you can do through Jesus Christ.
Finally, know that you are stuck in the devil's deepest battle...right at the procreative root of humanity, where we're all hardwired to be flesh bodies of sensory circuitry. And battle knowing that Jesus has overcome, but you need to hold up your end of the relationship.

 

[sammyalice]

I to am a porn addict I use chat sites were I txt other men send pictures of me naked , I am married my husdand is an alcoholic and not a christain . I told fellew christains at church they pry for me . But due to my selfishness I still carnt stop

 

[RoboOp]

I satisfy my man so i dont have to deal with situations like this but if it was me i would take all his porn and i

would sell it then i would replace his porn with myself and i would satify all his sexual needs so he

would never think about another women again even in his dreams he would not beable to see any

other women but me its like my mom always told me keep your man satisfied he will never lust after other

women and he would never cheat i had to know her secret to taming dady because my dad doesnt go after

other women they chase him he doesnt chase them when they ask he always says no im happy married and

shes the only women that i will ever need glad my mom shared her secret now we both 2 happy girls *giggles*

Hey you're 16 years old and single, and in your profile you talk about Jesus, and you say you were saved last month. And here you say "I satisfy my man so i dont have to deal with situations like this". Am I the only one confused here? How can you be a Christian, and "satisfy your man" [sexually] without being married????

 

[RoboOp]

I to am a porn addict I use chat sites were I txt other men send pictures of me naked , I am married my husdand is an alcoholic and not a christain . I told fellew christains at church they pry for me . But due to my selfishness I still carnt stop

Ummm ... should we ban you from this chat site?

 

[Wycliffe_Erika]

sammyalice you need to congregate in a church and talk with a person that is mature in the christian faith that can help you overcome this issue. I think you should definitly avoid chat sites, cause you could influence other people, specially younger people.

 

[Plasticfry]

I used porn to quell my sex drive when I was married. My wife could not keep up with me, and I had no idea at the time what a healthy sex drive was. At the time, all I wanted was to feel good all the time;you know, the whole instant gratification thing. I do believe that Yeshua answers prayer, indeed, but not to one sitting on their "blessed assurance." If you are confident that you are providing for your husband in a healthy way, ask him if he agrees. If he truly believes you are then he is probably stuck in self-gratification mode, a demon in it's own right. But don't be afraid to ask the tough questions. Does he still want you? Do you still turn him on? Is there more you can do? And if you've done your part the rest is up to him.
If he has a beautiful ( to him ), servant of a wife, he needs to be reminded of his servitude to you and to the Lord. Many men in the church suffer from this problem as the devil is waging all out war on God's people. Give thanks for the storm, and praise to God, and find a way to glorify his name through this turbulance. I will pray for you.

 

[Saul_Durian]

Ummm ... should we ban you from this chat site?

No offense, but why should you ban her for having a problem? She obviously feels bad about, and tried going to church and getting help.

 

[sammyalice]

We are born sinner who are you to judge me . Are walk with our lord is long sometimes we lose are way I'm trying to find my way home to my father in heaven

 

[RoboOp]

No offense, but why should you ban her for having a problem? She obviously feels bad about, and tried going to church and getting help.

Because she says "I use chat sites were I txt other men send pictures of me naked" and also "I still carnt stop". Shouldn't I take that to mean that she's sending naked pictures of herself to men here in Christian Chat, or will?? I mean how else are we supposed to take that? Anyway we didn't ban her we simply asked her "should we ban you from this chat site?" We're actually trying to give her a chance since she kinda seems to be wanting help. But I'll say loud and clear right here that we absolutely do reserve the right to take whatever action we deem necessary to guard our site and guard the members here from people who use chat sites to lure others into their sin. Our first priority as administrators and moderators of this site is to keep it clean and safe, otherwise we're not helping the other 99.9% of people who are here to find a safe place for online fellowship without all the stumbling blocks and online seduction.