Husband is emotionally abusive and cusses me out and tells me it's my fault! Help!!

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J

Jcruz

Guest
#1
#1
My husband and I had a 6 month separation 2 years ago. His choice. He was not a Christian and converted after he came back to me. (When we married I was backsliden.) About 6 months later he said he didn't really mean it and really came back because it was to expensive to be separated. October this past year he said he doesn't love me anymore and there are no feelings. He says he'll try to work on it, but if I don't do everything his way when he wants it, he calls me terrible names and cusses at me using the f word and everything. It breaks my heart and he says I'm the stupid one who makes him do it. He says if I wasn't so stupid and didn't make him mad he would have no reason to treat me that way.
This is my second marriage, my first ended because of his adultery and I don't want another divorce:( one more big thing is I have 5 kids only one with him, and he wants nothing to do with my other 4! He will only spend time with me and not as a family. He says he doesn't like being around my children. He's turned into this mean selfish person and I don't know what to do! Some Christian friends say get out while others say to stay and pray. And if I do leave him I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone:( I just want him to be saved and put Christ first and live me like Christ loves the church!! But he wants to hear nothing about Christianity and he wants to split by June if his feelings don't change!
 
B

BarlyGurl

Guest
#2
#2
My Prayer for you is that God remove this man from your life and home... or his eyes be opened and he come to repentance and fall at the feet of Christ... and quickly... Move quickly Lord. Strengthen this sisters endurance now and give her discerment to see your mighty hand at work here. Amen
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#3
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#3
This is a hard place to be!! He sounds very unreasonable...everything has to go his way or else. He knows you depend on him financially (?) and will use that as leverage to get his way. The important thing is not to compromise with evil intentions. You know what God expects from Christians and good for you for trying to please HIM.

If I were you, I would first seek counseling from a Christian counselor for how to proceed with your husband following biblical principles. Give him the opportunity for change and pray for him...which you're probably already doing but with counseling, hopefully, your relationship will change for the better. At least you've tried. If he's totally unresponsive to the leading of the Spirit then he will probably just leave. You need to be prepared for that; just in case. Do you have a way of living separately? Job skills? Relatives to live with?

The best thing would be for him to turn his heart over to Christ but that may not happen. You don't have to live with an abusive husband in a hateful atmosphere. Separation can do wonders....if the heart change is happening at the same time.

Lean on God first. We should never feel totally emotionally dependent on another human being. Human beings fail many times but God's love never fails.

Praying for you...strength, wisdom, and guidance.
 
T

tenderhearted

Guest
#4
#4
You should think about your other 4 children. He wants nothing to do with them, then let him leave. He is not only abusing you, but neglecting those 4 kids is a form of abuse. He knew you had kids before he married you. Be a good steward of what God has given you and protect those kids. Don't worry about being by yourself. God will bring the right man. If you remain with someone like your husband, his actions towards you will make your heart hard. God loves you and he wants you to guard your heart. Abuse is never okay with God. I would pray for him, but if you see no change than you need to run away from him and into the arms of God. God will be your husband. He will supply all your needs. He will help you father those 5 kids. You are not alone. Keep seeking God. Find out His will for you and don't get distracted by what everyone around you is saying, including me.:)
 
I

intercessorginger

Guest
#5
#5
Dear J cruz,
There is a word for this and it's called abuse. I do not believe it is the will of God for you to be abused.You don't have to stay to pray..sometimes it's better to pray in safety and from a far.
 
J

Jcruz

Guest
#6
#6
Thanks for everyone's prayers. I decided I'm going to move on, but please pray for me, I have a tumor that needs to be removed and its a big surgery. It will be a 4-6 week recovery. I need to rely on my husbands income until I recover.
Also please pray for me to get a job I can rely on to support my children and I. My husband already threatens me with my daughter. He says if I can't support them, he'll take her. I'm scared. I will press into God and pray, but it's still a scary move.
Thanks again
 
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