I think I am attracted to females a bit

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Nov 26, 2012
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#21
I want to be a good person. How do I stop doing this?
The key to stop obsessing over anyone is to rationalize the situation. Does she like you and you are giving and getting sexual pheromone release? Is it the excitement of taboo, that causes serotonin to surge, and this is the attraction, like a pornography addiction? Since gender roles are completely undefined these days, I’m sure these situations have and will increase in society. Understand that relationships, sexual and cohabital, are designed for procreation and perpetuation of our species. We have tainted sex to be pleasurable entertainment. We have tied self worth to being sexually desirable. Our purpose on earth is not for the giving and getting of pleasure. When this becomes our life quest, it leads to a hallow, existence. A lesbian relationship does not honour God, it is the Devil’s candy. Candy is tempting, no doubt, but it is fake food, harmful and designed to addict and control.
 
Sep 13, 2018
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#22
Hi Tamina, and welcome!

I'm married but I can tell you between my flesh, and the enemy, I can sometimes find myself thinking too much about other women.

It's just our fleshy sin nature doing what comes natural to it. It's not the same temptation for everyone.

It sounds like you recognize that same sex relationships are wrong. That's a good sign the Holy Spirit is working in you.

The only way I have found success in defeating my flesh, and not listening to the devil, is by walking in the Spirit. I need to take captive every sinful thought and literally pray to Jesus to remove it.

Your flesh and the enemy never gives up, so this is NOT a one and done.

Be blessed sister!
But she is'nt thinking about other women she is only thinking about one...
 

Silverwings

Senior Member
Jul 27, 2016
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#23
Hello Tamina, nice to meet you!! I would like to say first that feelings can fool you, and are to be dealt with thru prayer and fasting, because Jesus said if a man lusts after a woman, that he has already committed adultery with her in his heart, Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So we see this is a serious matter and needs our attention speedily.

Then in verse 29 he says ; 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.…

This is strong language indeed,
Jesus had just warned His audience against using their eyes for lustful purposes (Matthew 5:28), so His prescribed remedy for lust—to pluck out an eye—makes sense, in a radical sort of way. But it is the radical nature of His statement that makes it so memorable.

When Jesus advises us to pluck out a sinful eye or cut off an unruly hand, He is employing a figure of speech known as hyperbole. Hyperbole is an obvious exaggeration or an intentional overstatement. Examples of hyperbole in modern speech would include statements like “This bag of groceries weighs a ton,” “I’ve been waiting forever,” and “Everyone knows that.” The apostle Paul uses hyperbolic language in Galatians 4:15. Hyperbole, like other figures of speech, is not meant to be taken literally.

Jesus’ purpose in saying, hyperbolically, that sinners should pluck out their eyes or cut off their hands is to magnify in His hearers’ minds the heinous nature of sin. Sin is any action or thought that is contrary to the character of God. The result of sin is death, from which Jesus wants to preserve us (see Hebrews 2:9). Jesus warns of hell because He doesn’t want people to go there (Matthew 5:29–30).

Sin takes people to hell (see Revelation 21:8), and that makes sin something to avoid at all costs. Jesus says that, whatever is causing you to sin, take drastic measures to get that thing out of your life.

Nothing is worth missing heaven for. Nothing is worth going to hell for. Nothing.

God takes sin seriously—seriously enough to sacrifice His only begotten Son to destroy it. We must take sin seriously as well. A lack of repentance is a crime punishable by eternal death. It is better to deny our flesh ,than to risk sinning against God. God demands holiness (1 Peter 1:15), but we naturally tend to pamper ourselves and excuse our sin. That is why we need Jesus’ shocking, radical hyperbole to wake us from our spiritual complacency.

Psa 105:4 Seek, inquire of and for the Lord, and crave Him and His strength (His might and inflexibility to temptation); seek and require His face and His presence [continually] evermore.

Psa 138:3 In the day when I called, You answered me; and You strengthened me with strength (might and inflexibility to temptation) in my inner self.

Prov 5:8 Let your way in life be far from her, and come not near the door of her house [avoid the very scenes of temptation

Matt 6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

Matt 26:41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

1 Cor 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#24
I've had this with a few different women since I was maybe 13. I had a doctor I was obsessed with. I had a girl I knew later in my teen years who I thought about all the time and thought she was really pretty. The newest girl I've been thinking about has been the most I've thought about anyone before.
It happens. Women can have that effect on people.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
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#25
I don't feel comfortable talking to anybody I know so I came here for advice. There's another girl that I talked to some and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I think about how she acts, talks, and everything. I have been thinking about her non-stop for a long time. I'm not really sure how to handle this.
It depends on whether you think about her sexually or just admire her as a friend? You might just be more comfortable around females and relate more closely to them. Nothing wrong with admiration or even loving her like a sister, but if its a physical yearning to be with her, you may be gay or bisexual? It sounds like your obsessed with her.
 

theanointedwinner

Well-known member
Nov 6, 2018
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#26
oh the small glimpse of God's glory and splendor. Oh how we are made in God's image

I praise you, O' God, for we are fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are thy works and that only thy soul knows very well (Psalms 139:14)

isn't God praiseworthy?
 

Blanche

Junior Member
Mar 19, 2018
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#27
Very well, then I consider you to be a Christian. I will say this much, and then let some of the women here who are Christians address your situation. As a believer in Christ you know homosexuality is an abomination. A great sin. So, any attraction you have towards another women in that manner is not from God. And it is wrong. No matter how good you think it feels or appears, it is not from God.

Pleasure meeting you. I am sure others will have more to say concerning your situation.

Quantrill

Isn't all sin the same? You say it is a "great" sin. I personally believe that sins vary in how bad they are. Example: if a man steals a loaf of bread to feed a hungry child, is that the same as one who murders someone in cold blood? Obviously not.
 

Quantrill

Well-known member
Sep 20, 2018
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#28
Isn't all sin the same? You say it is a "great" sin. I personally believe that sins vary in how bad they are. Example: if a man steals a loaf of bread to feed a hungry child, is that the same as one who murders someone in cold blood? Obviously not.
Your question is a little confusing to me. You say or ask first if all sin is the same. Yet you indicate at the end that sins are not all the same. But my use of 'great' would agree with you that they are not all the same.

So, I will say this, all sins are not the same. Yet all sins are product of the disease of sin, of which all of Adams race is infected with.

Quantrill
 
M

Miri

Guest
#29
I don't feel comfortable talking to anybody I know so I came here for advice. There's another girl that I talked to some and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I think about how she acts, talks, and everything. I have been thinking about her non-stop for a long time. I'm not really sure how to handle this.

Just wondered how old you are.

It’s not uncommon for teens or younger for example, to form strong
bonds with female friends.

I know when I was 7, at school I ended up playing with a group of older kids.
There was one girl who was almost like a mum to me. I honestly loved her for her
kindness and attention, which was missing from home at the time.

Sometimes even young adults can have similar feelings for other women who
in some way fulfil a bit of a mother role or sister role in their life. I often think this world
is so mixed up it confuses friends and love (and yes you can love a friend what
about David and Jonathon) for something else.

I think it’s more likely to be an issue if the feelings become sexual.

But otherwise loving a friend is normal.

If it’s because you crave attention, or are a bit needy or lonel right now.
There are things you can do, get involved with things. Go to church, build
proper friendships etc.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#30
Love is not feelings. How could God command an emotion? Oh how our culture has conflated the subject.
Loving someone will result in emotional attachment.
"The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?
Jeremiah 17:9 NASB
https://bible.com/bible/100/jer.17.9.NASB
This is why we get it wrong so often.
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
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#31
I better be careful how I word this, because the poster was ambiguous enough that I can not state with certain his or her mindset. Suffice to say, probably any sin is a great sin. My issue is that for so long the church has held homosexuality a sin worse then sexual perversion between male and female. I just don't see it like that. It's all sexual immorality.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#32
If you haven't been baptized yet, I'd encourage you to be baptized.

As far as the same sex attraction thing goes, I'm not sure if thinking about a woman a lot means you are same sex attracted or not. I don't know the thoughts or feelings involved, but that sounds possible.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine who liked to read Psychology Today. He had read an article about how people fell in love after they looked at someone who interested them a lot. So let's say a girl likes a guy in her college English class and she develops feelings for him. He's attractive. But there are lots of men she finds attractive in college. It often starts because she keeps looking at him and thinking about him. Then, when he isnt' there, she starts thinking about him a lot. Out of these fantasies-- even if they aren't necessarily sexual in nature-- she starts to develop feelings. Let's suppose she's a Christian and this guy is not someone she should consider dating because he's an atheist or a womanizer or something else that does not fit the profile of someone she should marry. What should she do? For one thing, she can not look at him. Another thing is, she can exercise some self-control over her mind and not think about him.

II Corinthians 10 talks about bringing every thought captive unto the obedience of Christ. So you should be careful who or what you think about. Keep your thoughts pure. Keep your thought focused. Why don't you spend time focusing on Christ? Pray and focus your mind on him. When you catch yourself thinking about this girl, pray about it, and start thinking about Christ.

Have you ever been attracted to men or if you have felt attracted to women before this?
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#33
I better be careful how I word this, because the poster was ambiguous enough that I can not state with certain his or her mindset. Suffice to say, probably any sin is a great sin. My issue is that for so long the church has held homosexuality a sin worse then sexual perversion between male and female. I just don't see it like that. It's all sexual immorality.
There were different penatlies for different types of sexual sin in the Bible. If a man slept with a virgin who was not betrothed or married, he was obligated on his part to marry her if her father allowed it. But if she were married or betrothed, they would both be put to death (unless he'd raped her.) If a man slept with his sister, they would be cut off from the people. If he slept with his mother they would be put to death. If two men slept together, there was a death penalty for that, too. (By 'slept with' I mean sexual relations).

Regular fornication did not have a death penalty, but sex with another man's wife or sex between two men, or between a human and animal did have a death penalty. If penalty indicates the severity of the crime, there are some sins worse than others.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#34
There were different penatlies for different types of sexual sin in the Bible. If a man slept with a virgin who was not betrothed or married, he was obligated on his part to marry her if her father allowed it. But if she were married or betrothed, they would both be put to death (unless he'd raped her.) If a man slept with his sister, they would be cut off from the people. If he slept with his mother they would be put to death. If two men slept together, there was a death penalty for that, too. (By 'slept with' I mean sexual relations).

Regular fornication did not have a death penalty, but sex with another man's wife or sex between two men, or between a human and animal did have a death penalty. If penalty indicates the severity of the crime, there are some sins worse than others.

Yet just yours sent Jesus to the cross. (And mine).
 

foolishone

Junior Member
Aug 13, 2017
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#35
I'm really early twenties. I think about her all the time. I have been talking to her. I look at her social media many times a day. Do I have to stop thinking about her and contacting her? I love to talk to her but I don't know.
If this girl is a christian heterosexual and a true friend you should be able to tell her the problem you are having and she will do all in her power to dissuade you from going there. This can include confessing to your pastor and his wife the issue and receiving prayer and proper counseling. Part of that might mean less contact and not being alone together. Not to reject you but help you not to idolize her.
If she is not a christian then flee. You do need to stop all contact with her. These lustful thoughts can be because you idolize her, get a self esteem boost from her that you respond to physically instead of a healthy emotional response. She may be filling a void for love in you that only Christ can really fill.
All lustful thoughts come from the heart and mind. Christ is the one who can heal and replace those thoughts so you can have the mind of Christ formed in you.
Other important steps are 1) do not listen to secular music. It promotes lustful thoughts. Listen to music that is pleasing to the Lord.
2) read the bible plenty, especially when you are tempted to look at her social media; make the choice to pick up the bible. 3) Prayer. Learn how to pray. Remember prayer is not give me give me. It is worship and asking for things that are according to His will. His will is found in the bible. It is being still and listing to Him. He talks to us through the Word. 3) maintain a healthy fellowship with other believers.
It is like an alcoholic holding a bottle. If you maintain the friendship you will fall.
God is able but you need to let Him heal you and want Him to heal you. I know for a fact. Make the right choice and God will bless you.
 

foolishone

Junior Member
Aug 13, 2017
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#36
It depends on whether you think about her sexually or just admire her as a friend? You might just be more comfortable around females and relate more closely to them. Nothing wrong with admiration or even loving her like a sister, but if its a physical yearning to be with her, you may be gay or bisexual? It sounds like your obsessed with her.
If it is not sexual lust but just obsession with how she looks, acts, talks and makes me feel, it is still idolizing the girlfriend. It is wrong and unhealthy.
 

foolishone

Junior Member
Aug 13, 2017
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#37
Yes but I've never had this sort of connection or been so enamored with someone as the girl
You have really not been specific ( this sort of connection? and enamored ?) and I notice we are mostly assuming you are talking sexual attraction.
So if we are wrong and it is non sexual obsession it is still idolatry. It is still unhealthy like any addiction. The solution is the same as I pointed out earlier. In fact if it is not sexual now a love obsession is easily tipped into sexual acts especially if this girl has the same feelings for you.
 

NayborBear

Banned Serpent Seed Heresy
#38
Fast and Pray! Read the Bible! Fast and Pray! Whatever kind of fasting you decide to do? God KNOWS yer heart, and just how SERIOUS you are about it! (y)(y)

Sometimes? God will put you in such a "condition" (for lack of a better term), that, you'll end up forcing yourself in the admitting it to Him!
The "answer" I received when doing such? (God speaking here) "I know!" "I just wanted you to "confront/admit" it to Me!"
 
Nov 30, 2018
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#39
Pray for God to take away any desires that are not of Him. He would not give us desires for anything that are contrary to what is good, noble, pure, true, holy, and lovely. I battled against similar thoughts when I was in my teen years. One day, I asked God to take those thoughts away and he did! They never returned.

Also be sure to close the door to anything that might be cause for temptation (song lyrics, TV shows, friends who promote LGBT behaviors/lifestyles). It's very important to do this because otherwise, you could be keeping open a demonic portal that the Lord wants to close! I like this quote, and I think that it is relevant here: "You cannot win the battle against demons if you are still enjoying their company."

The next time a thought of this girl comes to mind, submit it to the Lord and ask Him to remove it and any future thoughts like it and replace it with a Scripture to memorize.

Praying for you, sister!