I think my marriage is over

[blue_ladybug]

I think it was a mistake to call and try to cancel her welfare, it will probably be replaced with alimony and child support later. I also think it would be a terrible mistake to quit your job, move to AZ, and live with your mother-in-law. You may love your wife, but don't be a glutton for punishment. Your both functioning independent of each other, both trying to call the shots, and ignoring each others wishes (non-communicative). Sounds like you really need a mediator right now (counseling), but if you move in with them, your going to need a referee. Its an odd situation, your wife leaves with your child and demands that you quit your job and move in with your mother-in-law, who doesn't even like you? That just sounds like a step backwards to me, and it would be a complete disaster... jmo

This right here!!

 

[AuntieAnt]

I'm going to do my best at making this as short as possible.

I have had a very very rough marriage. In fact I've had a very rough life. I waited until I was 27 to get married like I always said I would do, I married and did things the right way, I was an open book with her while dating; hid nothing from secrets to my angry side I hid nothing.

Recently my wife and I as I explained about a month ago, we decided in May that we would move to her hometown out of state. It has been rough on me and frustrating because I've made tremendous progress while my wife is there making none but everyone is like blaming me for why she's angry. That's frustrating within itself because I can't just hop up and leave obviously these things takes time. I'm starting completely over out there.
Moving forward I was offered a job last week I am to start in like three weeks so I have three weeks to get moved. I called to let her know this yesterday along with some other concerns I have, she however has avoided handling business with me and letting me know what's going on. One of the things she did without me knowing before hand which is the reason I'm pi**ed is she decided to get on welfare.
We have two kids right now she's with her mother. I work a very good paying job and my wife understands very well why I don't like the welfare system but she does this anyways, it reminds me why I am afraid to remain married to her because there's absolutely no respect for her husband.
I take very good care of my family in fact just told her the day before to send me the account information so I can send her more money, she never did. Instead shed rather live off welfare??? On top of that WE DON'T NEED IT! Lol!
Okay I can go and on but I'm cutting it short. Her step mom agrees with her decision which Idk why she discusses it with everyone else except me.
Guys look I am exhausted honestly I'm hurt and ready to let go, I'm angry because there's no love or respect for her husband on top of that it's as if she has everyone looking at me as if I'm doing HER wrong somehow and when I try and explain to them they blow me off because they don't want to believe she's causing these issues. Just how I feel anyways.
Am I wrong? I've decided I'm not going to continue in this dysfunctional marriage. Its been 5 years and I'm at my end with it all. I've even questioned God like why'd you let me marry someone I'm completely not compatible with after waiting 27 YEARS.....He didn't answer. Lol.
I guess she's at her end also which is why she doesn't care. Ive tried to reason with her but I am not going to live in a home that is wrongfully receiving food stamps or unnecessarily. It's all wrong and disgusting. She has no pride. I do. In the fact that God did not make me to be a beggar but to be wise with whatever I get.

Actually, God never leaves us or forsakes us. He DID answer you before you even asked. He tells us to count the cost before we take on any endeavors. But like the childish human beings we are, we often have to learn the hard way, jumping the gun before we really take the time to examine what it is we're getting ourselves into. The Lord tells us not to trust in our own understanding but to believe his wisdom for our lives. It’s not too late. Cast your cares on the Lord and he will get you through this.

As for asking for marital advice on a forum, well there’s nobody on this site who is equipped enough to advise you sufficiently, dear brother. Speak with a professional marital counselor ASAP, one who can help guide you to the wisest options available for you. And trust God to show you how to do it.

I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I’ll bet at least 50% of the members on this site know exactly what you’re going through. We can certainly encourage you and pray for you. But nobody here can tell you the right thing to do. I pray you seek a wise counselor soon. Peace and grace to you!

 

[BurlyCarl]

I hope you are seeking help Camelot. No Divorces! I wouldn't touch AZ with a 10ft pole or move in with the parents. You would be setting yourself up for failure. You are the head of the House hold Sir! Reason I say stay away from AZ is because I have heard some horror stories about child support there. Keep in touch

 

[RBA238]

I'm going to do my best at making this as short as possible.

I have had a very very rough marriage. In fact I've had a very rough life. I waited until I was 27 to get married like I always said I would do, I married and did things the right way, I was an open book with her while dating; hid nothing from secrets to my angry side I hid nothing.

Recently my wife and I as I explained about a month ago, we decided in May that we would move to her hometown out of state. It has been rough on me and frustrating because I've made tremendous progress while my wife is there making none but everyone is like blaming me for why she's angry. That's frustrating within itself because I can't just hop up and leave obviously these things takes time. I'm starting completely over out there.
Moving forward I was offered a job last week I am to start in like three weeks so I have three weeks to get moved. I called to let her know this yesterday along with some other concerns I have, she however has avoided handling business with me and letting me know what's going on. One of the things she did without me knowing before hand which is the reason I'm pi**ed is she decided to get on welfare.
We have two kids right now she's with her mother. I work a very good paying job and my wife understands very well why I don't like the welfare system but she does this anyways, it reminds me why I am afraid to remain married to her because there's absolutely no respect for her husband.
I take very good care of my family in fact just told her the day before to send me the account information so I can send her more money, she never did. Instead shed rather live off welfare??? On top of that WE DON'T NEED IT! Lol!
Okay I can go and on but I'm cutting it short. Her step mom agrees with her decision which Idk why she discusses it with everyone else except me.
Guys look I am exhausted honestly I'm hurt and ready to let go, I'm angry because there's no love or respect for her husband on top of that it's as if she has everyone looking at me as if I'm doing HER wrong somehow and when I try and explain to them they blow me off because they don't want to believe she's causing these issues. Just how I feel anyways.
Am I wrong? I've decided I'm not going to continue in this dysfunctional marriage. Its been 5 years and I'm at my end with it all. I've even questioned God like why'd you let me marry someone I'm completely not compatible with after waiting 27 YEARS.....He didn't answer. Lol.
I guess she's at her end also which is why she doesn't care. Ive tried to reason with her but I am not going to live in a home that is wrongfully receiving food stamps or unnecessarily. It's all wrong and disgusting. She has no pride. I do. In the fact that God did not make me to be a beggar but to be wise with whatever I get.

I read your complete Story...It reminds me of A Kate Roy Orbinson Song from The Mid 60's.."It's Over"....find you someone who is more mature and supportive...Best Wishes.

 

[Man4TheWord]

I want to help you here brother. First off, His Word is a lamp unto our feet. With that said, any major decision you make like this, you have to study to show yourself approved. Right out of the wilderness Jesus preach about God's standard for divorce...in Greek..."porneia" (elicit sexual intercourse). That's it man, that is what God says actually breaks the marriage covenant. Many English words used say, sexual immorality, or marital unfaithfulness...very vague. All three times, Jesus uses this term porneia....not porno...though wrong...not a covenant breaker. Christians shoot off their hip so much. It's ok to believe and stand on Christ's standard, He wasn't a Pharisee. Also, if you divorce without grounds, you are committing adultery, causing the woman too, and the one who marries her. So all those immediate marriages are cursed, and will probably work out great since the devil will leave you alone since he has you trapped in sin. If the wife divorces the husband and he remarries, he is a polygamist, and shouldn't be a church leader, until she remarries and spiritually fornicates, since according to Christ she is still married to you. At that point you should send her a letter stating that you renounce your covenant with her for the grounds of adultery and fornication. Then at that point you are again the husband of one wife. Think, how can someone commit adultery if they aren't still married? Yet Jesus said 3 times if you divorce without these grounds you commit adultery when you remarry. Which means in God's eyes you still are. Very important. The enemy is having a hay day the the body's lack of understanding. If I use scripture to make you sin, I am a false prophet, and a false teacher, but if my words keep you from sinning, this is the heart of God. Look how He visited Cain before he sinned. And said, "why has your countenance fallen, don't you know if you do well, you will be accepted."