Is it really that difficult for a man to be the head of his household?

[proverbs35]

so who would the husband being the head of the wife look like to you if he is the head in a particular relationship...ie marriage?

He would look (behave) LIKE Christ. Why? Because that's God's example and bar for Christian husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.. Eph 5:25 How did Christ demonstrate his love for the church in addition to dying for her?

Jesus forgave the church (Eph 4:32). Therefore, a Christ-like husband will be forgiving.

Jesus was compassionate (Mt 9:36, Mt 14:14, Mt 15:32, Mark 6:34, Mark 8:2). A Christ-like husband will be compassionate.

Jesus was humble (Phil 2:5-8, Mt 11:29, Mt 21:5, John 13:1-7). A Christ-like husband will be humble.

Jesus was not self seeking. His goal was to please and do the will of his Heavenly Father, so he could be a blessing to the church (John 5:30, 6:38, Mt 26:39). A Christ-like husband will not be self-centered. His overarching goal will be to please God and promote God's will instead of his own.

Jesus promoted peace (John 20:21, 16:33, 14:27). A Christ-like husband will promote peace.

Jesus prayed for the church. A Christ-like husband will pray for his wife.

Jesus promoted truth (John 18:37, 1:14). A Christ-like husband will be honest.

Jesus proclaimed justice (Mt 12:18). A Christ-like will be "just" with his wife.

Jesus is a giver (2 Thes 2:16-17, Mt 11:28, 15:36). A Christ-like husband will be a giver.

Jesus suffered for the church (1 Pe 4:1-2). A Christ-like husband will suffer for his wife.

Jesus came to serve the church (Mark 10:45, Mt 20:28). A Christ-like husband will serve his wife.

Jesus called the church friend instead of slave (John 15:15). A Christ-like husband won't talk to or about his wife like she's his slave, but he will talk to her and treat her like a friend.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Eph 5:25 How can a Christ-like husband "give himself up for (die)" for his wife?

Of course, we can't expect husbands (Christ-like or otherwise) to get on a cross and die a physical death like Jesus did, but a Christ-like husband's goal will be to die to sin: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, idolatry. Col 3:1-11, Rom 6:2-11

Men are not perfect and neither are women, so even a Christ-like husband is going to make mistakes. The point is there are so many verses in the Bible that deal with the husband's duty in marriage, yet so much of that gets left out of the conversation on a regular basis.

I will be honest here...I am getting somewhat irritated at some of the manly man comments such as "I want a traditional wife" well hey...do you want a traditional wife or do you want a godly wife? Cause me? I'm thinking they are not necessairly the same

Traditional is very subjective. It means different things to different people at different times, but we know what Jesus said about tradition.

He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: “ ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. 7They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’ 8You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.” 9And he continued, “You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! 10For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’d and, ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’e 11But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is Corban (that is, devoted to God)— 12then you no longer let them do anything for their father or mother. 13Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.” Mark 7:6-13

 

[Tintin]

I believe that men and women can swap roles in the home, in the sense that the wife can go to work full-time and the husband can stay home and look after all the kids or work part-time and do this. The reality is some men are more nurturing than some women. They're better with their children and with house-work etc. In all of this, the husband is still the head of the wife and the spiritual leader, following after Jesus every step of the way and putting Christ first, his wife second and his children third.

 

[atwhatcost]

As far as I understand, being the "head of the household" means you mow the lawn and take out the garbage.

I'd be happy to relinquish some of my authority.

Turn your yard into concrete, and then talk wife into making a container garden. Buying soil cost too much, so, eventually, she'll learn how to compost. Once she learns how to compost, particularly since worms can't just go back into the soil, since the yard is concrete, she'll feel obligated to feed the worms, and will start taking the garbage out to the compost.

You're out two jobs. lol

I know this works, because this is how it works in our family. (But, alas, he's in charge of making dinner. lol)

 

[ember]

proverbs35 He would look (behave) LIKE Christ. Why? Because that's God's example and bar for Christian husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.. Eph 5:25 How did Christ demonstrate his love for the church in addition to dying for her?

Jesus forgave the church (Eph 4:32). Therefore, a Christ-like husband will be forgiving.

Yeah...I really like that one and very thankfully, my husband IS forgiving...I can sometimes stretch the fabric because I do have that artistic temperment...that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it (partially kidding...I'm always working on it)

and, forgiveness is across the board...I may find it harder to forgive someone who is really close than a stranger? I don't think that is such a rare thing...we have much higher expectations with people we let in, yes? no? I tend to keep it under wraps and it builds and then boom..for something that is really not worthy of my anger....husband is a slow cooker, but I found out where the cook on high button is...LOL!~.. I'm joking, but I doubt anyone here does not understand what I mean

I really have to apologize when I need to because I have no peace until I do...which I will attribute to the Holy Spirit...I'm just kind of thinking out loud here and trying to apply the practical working out of the verses in my own situation...which I guess we all should do because it is not going to look the same across the board

Jesus was compassionate (Mt 9:36, Mt 14:14, Mt 15:32, Mark 6:34, Mark 8:2). A Christ-like husband will be compassionate.

I kind of lump compassion and understanding together

Jesus was humble (Phil 2:5-8, Mt 11:29, Mt 21:5, John 13:1-7). A Christ-like husband will be humble.

I am wondering how Christians actually and really see humble? I can't stand fake humbleness and that's not what you are saying, but...

Jesus was not self seeking. His goal was to please and do the will of his Heavenly Father, so he could be a blessing to the church (John 5:30, 6:38, Mt 26:39). A Christ-like husband will not be self-centered. His overarching goal will be to please God and promote God's will instead of his own.

Jesus promoted peace (John 20:21, 16:33, 14:27). A Christ-like husband will promote peace.

Jesus prayed for the church. A Christ-like husband will pray for his wife.

Jesus promoted truth (John 18:37, 1:14). A Christ-like husband will be honest.

Jesus proclaimed justice (Mt 12:18). A Christ-like will be "just" with his wife.

Jesus is a giver (2 Thes 2:16-17, Mt 11:28, 15:36). A Christ-like husband will be a giver.

Jesus suffered for the church (1 Pe 4:1-2). A Christ-like husband will suffer for his wife.

Jesus came to serve the church (Mark 10:45, Mt 20:28). A Christ-like husband will serve his wife.

Jesus called the church friend instead of slave (John 15:15). A Christ-like husband won't talk to or about his wife like she's his slave, but he will talk to her and treat her like a friend.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Eph 5:25 How can a Christ-like husband "give himself up for (die)" for his wife?

Of course, we can't expect husbands (Christ-like or otherwise) to get on a cross and die a physical death like Jesus did, but a Christ-like husband's goal will be to die to sin: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, idolatry. Col 3:1-11, Rom 6:2-11

you know, with regards to the above, I have never heard it expressed quite like that...die to sin...that is a really good observation and makes total sense IMO

Men are not perfect and neither are women, so even a Christ-like husband is going to make mistakes. The point is there are so many verses in the Bible that deal with the husband's duty in marriage, yet so much of that gets left out of the conversation on a regular basis.

Absolutely, but I can honestly say that I do see these things in my marriage...not in perfection...but they are there...sometimes yah gotta look a little harder...haha...but they are there



Traditional is very subjective. It means different things to different people at different times, but we know what Jesus said about tradition.

I can agree with that...about the only tradition I like in a family, is that which strengthens and brings to remembrance closeness and things enjoyed by all...if it is something stuffy...like we have to do this because it has always been done that way. then, not so much...I think we can and should make our own traditions?

I get the idea sometimes, that tradition for some folks is really about perception of how they would like something? Something that may have worked 40 years ago...but does that mean it is biblical? And, accepting a 'role' just because it makes someone comfortable is really not the best thing either IMO

Well anyway, I do have this tendency to want to dig into things and see what makes them tick...I can rock the boat



He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: “ ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. 7They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’ 8You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.” 9And he continued, “You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! 10For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’d and, ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’e 11But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is Corban (that is, devoted to God)— 12then you no longer let them do anything for their father or mother. 13Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.” Mark 7:6-13

You know, I have this thought, that if we are following Christ, He may just very well bring us along to a point where we look back and say...woah! I've really changed in spite of myself!

 

[proverbs35]

@ ember
I really appreciate a lot of what you have expressed here, and I think that the practical application is extremely important. Once again, it sounds like you and your husband have a "work in progress" relationship. Neither one of you is perfect, nor could you be, but you are BOTH consistently working on the relationship. You are BOTH being intentional about it. At the end of the day, I think that's all anyone can reasonably hope for, and I admire that. You make marriage sound doable, and I think that some of the women out there who hope to get married some day will be encouraged by what you have shared here about the inner workings of a "work in progress" marriage.

proverbs35 said: Of course, we can't expect husbands (Christ-like or otherwise) to get on a cross and die a physical death like Jesus did, but a Christ-like husband's goal will be to die to sin: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, idolatry. Col 3:1-11, Rom 6:2-11

ember said: you know, with regards to the above, I have never heard it expressed quite like that...die to sin...that is a really good observation and makes total sense IMO

I just wanted to be clear that's not simply my observation of what it means to die to sin. That's a literal Bible verse.

Living as Those Made Alive in Christ

3 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. [SUP]2 [/SUP]Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. [SUP]3 [/SUP]For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. [SUP]4 [/SUP]When Christ, who is your[SUP][a][/SUP] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

[SUP]5 [/SUP]Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.[SUP]6 [/SUP]Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[SUP][b][/SUP] [SUP]7 [/SUP]You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. [SUP]8 [/SUP]But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. [SUP]9 [/SUP]Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices [SUP]10 [/SUP]and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. [SUP]11 [/SUP]Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Col 3:1-11 NIV

 

[ember]

proverbs35@ ember

I really appreciate a lot of what you have expressed here, and I think that the practical application is extremely important. Once again, it sounds like you and your husband have a "work in progress" relationship. Neither one of you is perfect, nor could you be, but you are BOTH consistently working on the relationship. You are BOTH being intentional about it. At the end of the day, I think that's all anyone can reasonably hope for, and I admire that. You make marriage sound doable, and I think that some of the women out there who hope to get married some day will be encouraged by what you have shared here about the inner workings of a "work in progress" marriage.


IMO, if there is no practical application, then it is words only...simply an idea that may or may not work...which is why I have actually opened up a bit here and tried to illustrate some practical application from my own marriage.

I'm not sure why others do not do not extend themselves also? I don't really care one way or another...I think it is a very good exercise to allow God to probe our hearts...and He will...if we ask Him to. And yes of course it can hurt! But, He is here by His Spirit to heal and bring His healing reality into our puny little attempts at understanding...there MUST be a working out of the word in our lives, or, we have not watered it enough and it has died in germination.

A response to the truth is what God seeks...that is what makes it reality IMO

Of course, we can't expect husbands (Christ-like or otherwise) to get on a cross and die a physical death like Jesus did, but a Christ-like husband's goal will be to die to sin: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, idolatry. Col 3:1-11, Rom 6:2-11

you know, with regards to the above, I have never heard it expressed quite like that...die to sin...that is a really good observation and makes total sense IMO

yes I know...but I just never heard such a simple insight addressed to it!

I just wanted to be clear that's not simply my observation of what it means to die to sin. That's a literal Bible verse.

Living as Those Made Alive in Christ

3 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. [SUP]2 [/SUP]Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. [SUP]3 [/SUP]For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. [SUP]4 [/SUP]When Christ, who is your[SUP][a][/SUP] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

[SUP]5 [/SUP]Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.[SUP]6 [/SUP]Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[SUP][b][/SUP] [SUP]7 [/SUP]You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. [SUP]8 [/SUP]But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. [SUP]9 [/SUP]Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices [SUP]10 [/SUP]and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. [SUP]11 [/SUP]Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Col 3:1-11 NIV