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B
Most people these days do not consider God when it comes to getting married and then seek His ok to divorce and marry another. They ask this question to other christians waiting for someone to give them the answer they like so they feel better about doing what they want, believing the lie that they have sought out christian counsel on the matter. You can not pick an choose the parts of the bible that you want to believe and live by. It is all God's word!
Plain and simple God NEVER intended for divorce or remarriage (accept upon death of a spouse) to happen. He HATES it!!! If you are truly looking for God's will for divorce and remarriage know this fact. He does hate it and never wants it to happen. He wants His love to be enough for us. He wants us to trust in Him. He wants our obedience even when it hurts. He wants marriages to last and for us to work hard at them and never lose hope. But He knows we are all selfish and wicked people. He knows marriages will fail, spouses will leave and hearts will be broken. So He has given certain cercumstances the green light for divorce to happen. And the only one I can find is sexual sin. I am still learning about this subject due to circumstances in our local church. I do not know all the answers. What I do know for certain though is that the only sin God can not forgive is unbelief. Everything else can be forgiven. This does not give us the right to do what we wish though. He knows our hearts.
My advice would be to search the scriptures yourself, carefully and prayerfully. Seek Christian cousel from Pastors and Elders of the church. Test their answers with scripture and see god has to say to you about the subject. Be patient. This may take a while. More than a day, week, or month. You may not get the answer right away. And when God answers, listen and obey even if you do not like the answer. He has a will for your life. It may not include someone else.
And consider this, whenever you marry, seek God's guidence. If this is not the one for you and you marry them anyway, you may be marrying someone who was intended for someone else.
Plain and simple God NEVER intended for divorce or remarriage (accept upon death of a spouse) to happen. He HATES it!!! If you are truly looking for God's will for divorce and remarriage know this fact. He does hate it and never wants it to happen. He wants His love to be enough for us. He wants us to trust in Him. He wants our obedience even when it hurts. He wants marriages to last and for us to work hard at them and never lose hope. But He knows we are all selfish and wicked people. He knows marriages will fail, spouses will leave and hearts will be broken. So He has given certain cercumstances the green light for divorce to happen. And the only one I can find is sexual sin. I am still learning about this subject due to circumstances in our local church. I do not know all the answers. What I do know for certain though is that the only sin God can not forgive is unbelief. Everything else can be forgiven. This does not give us the right to do what we wish though. He knows our hearts.
My advice would be to search the scriptures yourself, carefully and prayerfully. Seek Christian cousel from Pastors and Elders of the church. Test their answers with scripture and see god has to say to you about the subject. Be patient. This may take a while. More than a day, week, or month. You may not get the answer right away. And when God answers, listen and obey even if you do not like the answer. He has a will for your life. It may not include someone else.
And consider this, whenever you marry, seek God's guidence. If this is not the one for you and you marry them anyway, you may be marrying someone who was intended for someone else.
Sorry about the double post.
If God wants his love to be enough for someone, why would he care if people marry in the first place? Furthermore, if you believe the bible, God created woman to accompany man. So which is it? Does God want us to love each other as well as him, or does he want us to only love him? You're acting like a person who remarries is cheating on God.
So people should remain lonely on earth to please God, even if it puts them into a depression?
So, abuse and neglect aren't recognized reasons to get divorced?
I would love to tackle this one, but it's a topic for another day.
Telling someone they shouldn't remarry unless their spouse either died or cheated on them is dangerous. You're telling someone that no matter how much they love another person, they shouldn't seek to fulfill that love! I thought Christians were supposed to embrace not only the love between them and God, but the love between human beings.
If God wants his love to be enough for someone, why would he care if people marry in the first place? Furthermore, if you believe the bible, God created woman to accompany man. So which is it? Does God want us to love each other as well as him, or does he want us to only love him? You're acting like a person who remarries is cheating on God.
So people should remain lonely on earth to please God, even if it puts them into a depression?
So, abuse and neglect aren't recognized reasons to get divorced?
I would love to tackle this one, but it's a topic for another day.
Telling someone they shouldn't remarry unless their spouse either died or cheated on them is dangerous. You're telling someone that no matter how much they love another person, they shouldn't seek to fulfill that love! I thought Christians were supposed to embrace not only the love between them and God, but the love between human beings.
B
Marriage is a symbolic union between a man and woman that reflects the relationship between Jesus and the church. It is a ministry. God made man and women differently as to reflect different aspects of His character. When they become man and wife, it is the closest thing on earth for us to see how Jesus is the head of the church and how the church responds to Him. Not everyone is meant to be married. Many people are called to serve God as a single man or woman. But we are suppose to love God above all else and yes He is to be enough for us. Marriage is a gift to us from God and He will give this gift to some and not to others. And yes I believe a person can "cheat" on God. We do that everyday by worshiping anything other than Him which can include worshiping our spouses and worshiping marriage itself. When our desire to marry goes before our desire to serve, obey and honor God then we making marriage an idol.
One of the biggest and most dangerous lies Satan has made us believe is that God wants us to be happy above all else. No He does not. God warns us that a christian life is one of self denial of our earthly desires, persecution, heartache and all sorts of other hurtful things. But He promises that if we stay true to Him and obey Him and follow Him, our heavenly rewards will reflect that. He also promises us JOY which is much more than Happiness. Happiness is a feeling. It comes and goes daily. Joy is lasting even in the face of pain and sorrow and loneliness. Everyone in this world is so concerned about being happy that they latch on to people and things that fill that need, but only for a time. When the happy feeling is gone they run off to find the next happy fix. Hence so much pain and heartbreak. God knows it is hard to be alone but He can be enough for you. And yes it is better to be alone and please God than to be happy in a relationship that is not blessed by God. It sucks but in the end it saves you from further heartbreak. God sees a bigger picture than we do. You either trust Him or you don't.
I believe people can change with Gods help. It may take the rest of their life but it can happen. In no way do I believe that abuse should not be ignored or tolerated. Example, my aunt and her kids were abused and she left her husband. She did not divorce him. She stayed true to her vows even though he did not. She prayed for him to change and he never did. He died a drunk and they never got back together. I am sure she was lonely, and I'm sure she thought of getting remarried before he died. But she stayed obedient to God and I believe He is greatly please that she remained loyal not only to a husband who did not deserve it, (just like God is loyal to us who do not deserve it), and will reward her in heaven and perhaps on earth. She is a great example to her now married kids who know that they will never give up on their spouses.
Not all love between human beings is good. Some of it sinful. A man who is cheating on his wife because he is in love with someone else is not a love to be embraced. There are adults who are in love with minors and have relationships with them. This is not a love to be embraced. Humans have put too much emphasis on the feeling of love. Love is much much more than butterfly feelings. These do not last. True love happens when those feelings are gone. When you stick with it even when it's hard and doesn't seem worth it. When you work through the hard times, honor your vows to your spouse and to God. And rediscover the butterfly feelings together when the bad times are over. This whole world is embracing whatever kind of love that comes up. What good has that done? Have you seen the state of the world lately? Broken marriages, relationships, motherless and fatherless children, jealously, heartbreak. There is a reason that most murders happen in the home. It is because our homes are broken because no one puts anyone before themselves and no one puts God before their desires. Everyone is too busy trying to find love and happiness that they do not see the destruction they leave behind and the repercussions it has on other peoples relationships.
I do believe that everyone has the free will to decide these things for themselves and we as christians can not decide for them and are to love them despite their decisions. We do not have to agree with them, or accept them, or support them, but we are not suppose to act out in hate towards them. People think that love and acceptance are the same thing. That if you do not support me, or agree with me then you must hate me. This is not true. It is possible to love someone and not agree with them. I am friends with people that live a lifestyle I do not agree with. But we can put our differences aside and have a friendship despite that.
Being a Christian means that you follow Jesus. We may not always understand why God does things the way He does, but we trust that it is for the best and that He is in control. Who are we to question our creator? Does a canvas have a right to demand the painter to paint a certain way? Does a song have the right to tell the composer how it should be sung? Do the stars in the heavens command God when they should shine? Who are we to tell God how we want to live when He has given us life? When I became a Christian I gave up my right to tell God what to do. I follow His word, not the other way around. It may not always be fun or feel good but it is ALWAYS good for me. It is always right. It's all about Him!
It is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me.
I also said I did not have all the answers. I may be wrong in some ways but I am still learning. I am sure you are too.
One of the biggest and most dangerous lies Satan has made us believe is that God wants us to be happy above all else. No He does not. God warns us that a christian life is one of self denial of our earthly desires, persecution, heartache and all sorts of other hurtful things. But He promises that if we stay true to Him and obey Him and follow Him, our heavenly rewards will reflect that. He also promises us JOY which is much more than Happiness. Happiness is a feeling. It comes and goes daily. Joy is lasting even in the face of pain and sorrow and loneliness. Everyone in this world is so concerned about being happy that they latch on to people and things that fill that need, but only for a time. When the happy feeling is gone they run off to find the next happy fix. Hence so much pain and heartbreak. God knows it is hard to be alone but He can be enough for you. And yes it is better to be alone and please God than to be happy in a relationship that is not blessed by God. It sucks but in the end it saves you from further heartbreak. God sees a bigger picture than we do. You either trust Him or you don't.
I believe people can change with Gods help. It may take the rest of their life but it can happen. In no way do I believe that abuse should not be ignored or tolerated. Example, my aunt and her kids were abused and she left her husband. She did not divorce him. She stayed true to her vows even though he did not. She prayed for him to change and he never did. He died a drunk and they never got back together. I am sure she was lonely, and I'm sure she thought of getting remarried before he died. But she stayed obedient to God and I believe He is greatly please that she remained loyal not only to a husband who did not deserve it, (just like God is loyal to us who do not deserve it), and will reward her in heaven and perhaps on earth. She is a great example to her now married kids who know that they will never give up on their spouses.
Not all love between human beings is good. Some of it sinful. A man who is cheating on his wife because he is in love with someone else is not a love to be embraced. There are adults who are in love with minors and have relationships with them. This is not a love to be embraced. Humans have put too much emphasis on the feeling of love. Love is much much more than butterfly feelings. These do not last. True love happens when those feelings are gone. When you stick with it even when it's hard and doesn't seem worth it. When you work through the hard times, honor your vows to your spouse and to God. And rediscover the butterfly feelings together when the bad times are over. This whole world is embracing whatever kind of love that comes up. What good has that done? Have you seen the state of the world lately? Broken marriages, relationships, motherless and fatherless children, jealously, heartbreak. There is a reason that most murders happen in the home. It is because our homes are broken because no one puts anyone before themselves and no one puts God before their desires. Everyone is too busy trying to find love and happiness that they do not see the destruction they leave behind and the repercussions it has on other peoples relationships.
I do believe that everyone has the free will to decide these things for themselves and we as christians can not decide for them and are to love them despite their decisions. We do not have to agree with them, or accept them, or support them, but we are not suppose to act out in hate towards them. People think that love and acceptance are the same thing. That if you do not support me, or agree with me then you must hate me. This is not true. It is possible to love someone and not agree with them. I am friends with people that live a lifestyle I do not agree with. But we can put our differences aside and have a friendship despite that.
Being a Christian means that you follow Jesus. We may not always understand why God does things the way He does, but we trust that it is for the best and that He is in control. Who are we to question our creator? Does a canvas have a right to demand the painter to paint a certain way? Does a song have the right to tell the composer how it should be sung? Do the stars in the heavens command God when they should shine? Who are we to tell God how we want to live when He has given us life? When I became a Christian I gave up my right to tell God what to do. I follow His word, not the other way around. It may not always be fun or feel good but it is ALWAYS good for me. It is always right. It's all about Him!
It is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me.
I also said I did not have all the answers. I may be wrong in some ways but I am still learning. I am sure you are too.
This topic is always a slippery slope, mostly because the divorce and remarriage rate is so high among believers. When Paul gave his "ruling" on divorce and remarriage it was a whole different situation. Marriages were arranged, polygamy was common, and women were second class citizens. This I know; God detests adultery. People view marriage much different today. Its a lot more work than it used to be. The way I see it, it used to be more of a business arrangement. The husband had obligations and the wife had obligations. It wasn't all about romance and date night. The two (or more) would work as a team to do what needed to be done. I would wager if we got rid of television altogether the divorce rate would plummit. We would be more likely to communicate with our spouses, and at the same time eliminate ridiculous physical and emotional expectations that are founded in fiction. (Side note: I am not in any way advocating polygamy.)
B
Bluezote I was reading your comments and I have to say for someone still learning you sound as though God has given you gifts of wisdom.
My wife left me. We have been separated 21 months. It is tough but there is a verse in my life that has followed me around... think God is trying to tell me something which is Proverbs 3v5 "Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding". So many times I have tried to make sense of my situation but it is what it is. Thanks for your advice I appreciate it. I guess for true peace one is to hear God as you say we don't always like the answer but it is the best answer the right one for our lives and our situation.
My wife left me. We have been separated 21 months. It is tough but there is a verse in my life that has followed me around... think God is trying to tell me something which is Proverbs 3v5 "Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding". So many times I have tried to make sense of my situation but it is what it is. Thanks for your advice I appreciate it. I guess for true peace one is to hear God as you say we don't always like the answer but it is the best answer the right one for our lives and our situation.
why do people want a general answer, to the remarriing question ?
God looks into our hearts, gods love and our own judgement of what is right or wrong
are individual.
If you are in touch with god, and if you go your way with him, he will cleanse you from
all the sin, you are regretting (sorry for) and he will give you new joy (with or without
a new partner).
Gods laws are there to help people, to free them, not to cage them in.
God looks into our hearts, gods love and our own judgement of what is right or wrong
are individual.
If you are in touch with god, and if you go your way with him, he will cleanse you from
all the sin, you are regretting (sorry for) and he will give you new joy (with or without
a new partner).
Gods laws are there to help people, to free them, not to cage them in.
L
My first marriage ended in divorce. I married at age 19 I was too young. During my first marriage I thought I was saved but then divorced. I thought I was saved...............but was really scared into it. That is probably why I continued to sin. November 12, 2008, I gave my life to Jesus in a treatment center. I have been following him ever since. I was re-married in 2006. I have repented and believe God has forgiven me for my sin of divorce. (1st marriage)
Mark 6:12 (TEB) So they went out and preached that people should turn away from their sins.
Acts 2:38 (NIV) Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."
Mark 6:12 (TEB) So they went out and preached that people should turn away from their sins.
Acts 2:38 (NIV) Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."
I think bluezote hits the nail on the head... for some reason christians are more concerned about being happy than seeking true joy in self denial in Jesus (see post 85 above). So what happens when we believe this lie, what the world tells us... the first sign of trouble or when the storms of life hit, we say we are not happy... and think 'I deserve happiness' so you just ditch your partner and replace him/her for a new model that you think will bring you this happiness.
The problem starts with our non Christian expectations, I don't want to bore you all again. but you can read atleast what I think is the basic problem.. regarding partners here:
http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/70933-proverbs-31-women-king-david.html#post1143948
I am not talking about a marriage where you are getting beaten up etc..get out to safety is my advice there. (that's doesn't mean divorce (straight away)).
I think to be honest bluezote answer very well and biblically, I also think that the film fireproof has a lot to offer in advice. s I say it takes 2 to tango.. we always blame the other person... but may your actions be helping. anyhow we need to be more Christ like, we are supposed to be different from the world now because we want the fairy tale Hollywood glossy magazine happiness.. we fail in our marriages.. we also fail to be Christ like..because me and my happiness is all about ME!
If you are looking to get married... be like Christ!
The problem starts with our non Christian expectations, I don't want to bore you all again. but you can read atleast what I think is the basic problem.. regarding partners here:
http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/70933-proverbs-31-women-king-david.html#post1143948
I am not talking about a marriage where you are getting beaten up etc..get out to safety is my advice there. (that's doesn't mean divorce (straight away)).
I think to be honest bluezote answer very well and biblically, I also think that the film fireproof has a lot to offer in advice. s I say it takes 2 to tango.. we always blame the other person... but may your actions be helping. anyhow we need to be more Christ like, we are supposed to be different from the world now because we want the fairy tale Hollywood glossy magazine happiness.. we fail in our marriages.. we also fail to be Christ like..because me and my happiness is all about ME!
If you are looking to get married... be like Christ!
J
I have been in my second marriage for 10 years and at first I felt like it was ok. Recently I had a dream that I KNOW was from the Lord and I have now started studying divorce and remarriage again. I feel like the Lord has opened my eyes to things that I didn't see before. My ultimate goal is pleasing the Lord and I know that where ever my journey takes me He will give me the strength and the peace to sustain me. I have decided that while I am looking at what people have to say about the subject, God's word tells us to study to show OURSELVES approved, therefore I need to figure it out with God leading me through it. Having said that, I have yet to find scripture that tells me that I'm ok in my present state and I do believe there are biblical examples that give me reason to doubt. I Ask each one of you that are struggling to take it to Him and he will guide you, I know because I've felt him all along the way. God Bless you all!
This is a slippery slope because nowhere does the Bible talk about a marriage that has a partner dealing with an addiction, or commits verbal and physical assault on a constant basis. Soon enough the victim in both situations has to lay out an ultimatum, and if the addict or abuser won't change, can we sit there and say Jesus wants the victim to live like this for the rest of his or her life? Again, slippery slope here, as the Bible doesn't cover every angle of marriage situations.
C
Adultery if she can go back, but don't think continuous, although John the baptist said Herod couldn't have his brother's wife. If you repent and the O.T. says it's a sin to go back to your first husband, the land will spit you out, I think it's done away. In the O.T. they got stoned for adultery, now you die with Christ.
If an unbeliever left her a man can marry her.
It's not the unforgivable sin if it has already happened.
My remarriage was adultery but maybe if he had converted it would have been okay. Still don't know. Glad he left.
If an unbeliever left her a man can marry her.
It's not the unforgivable sin if it has already happened.
My remarriage was adultery but maybe if he had converted it would have been okay. Still don't know. Glad he left.