making plans starting now*** can't do this anymore

[Depleted]

A. I disagree. The only way to re-marry is to marry the one whom you've divorced- which God says not to do. Getting married to someone else is not remarriage- because that indicates an attatchment to the first marriage- when this is a whole other seperate marriage that has nothing to do with the first. Believe me, I have studied this a lot, and my comments are based off of the scriptures- not off of my personal opinions.

B. Yes, and one motel is not another. However, since the customers come from all walks of life, and levels of cleanliness, whether a shelter gets diseases or bed bugs does not depend on how good the shelter is, but by who the customers are. Therefore, my point still stands- that what I mentioned is something to consider. I was in a very clean shelter, still there were people who picked their nose and wiped it on things, there were people who master-bated any time of day on their bed right in front of me and my child, and other things not in the shelter's control. (Yes I complained about it).

C. In this format you don't get to know the person- therefore you have to go only by the information they give you. And no, I am not Dr. Phil, why? Did she assume anyone who responded on here would be Dr. Phil or a professional like him? I have a right, just like anyone else here, to respond by expressing my thoughts, opinions, scriptures, life-experiences, etc. And I will not be bullied into conforming my response to be what they want to hear. I have my own voice, and if they don't want to hear it, then they shouldnt invite the public to respond.

A. Disagree all you want. Just stop counseling on a topic you don't understand.

C. And so, you bully her but that's fine, yet what I said to you is bullying? I don't care if you agree with me or not. I'm telling you to stop counseling when you don't know the person. And you could have taken the steps to know her. She's been on here for quite some time, so she has a post history you could have checked out. As it stands now, you are currently asking her to repeat the whole history. She's told the story. Do you really think she should have to repeat it each time she post so no one actually has to get to know her before putting up the "Doctor is in" sign?

And seriously, because you have your own voice, everyone else should come in prepared for that? In a world where you're so scared you hide in the bedroom whenever he's around, have to make do with what you have after he breaks one of your only ways of communication by smashing it against the wall, and you're spending most of your time hoping your neck and back even make it through the day while worrying about your daughter who is stuck with your ever-failing mother because even that is safer than living with him and you, it is still better to prepare for every response on a forum about family because hey? Who knows who will come in and give advice because they have a voice?

I really don't think Jennifer comes here for fly-by advice.

At this point, she's letting us still know she's alive, (which is often a question I wonder), is still making plans for the future, is still letting us know what the plan is in case she might have overlooked something, and is seeking support the best way she can.

She really could use your help, but as a friend not a counselor. You two have a lot in common, and it would be nice for her to have you as a friend. Someone who has gotten through what she is still going through now. Please, take the time to get to know her first though. And I'll even give you a heads up. She is like me -- opinionated about many things. BUT if you do a search on this forum and start when she first joined, you can learn her story.

Bonus points for you -- and see where I did the same thing wrong that you're doing now!

 

[OneFaith]

A. Disagree all you want. Just stop counseling on a topic you don't understand.

C. And so, you bully her but that's fine, yet what I said to you is bullying? I don't care if you agree with me or not. I'm telling you to stop counseling when you don't know the person. And you could have taken the steps to know her. She's been on here for quite some time, so she has a post history you could have checked out. As it stands now, you are currently asking her to repeat the whole history. She's told the story. Do you really think she should have to repeat it each time she post so no one actually has to get to know her before putting up the "Doctor is in" sign?

And seriously, because you have your own voice, everyone else should come in prepared for that? In a world where you're so scared you hide in the bedroom whenever he's around, have to make do with what you have after he breaks one of your only ways of communication by smashing it against the wall, and you're spending most of your time hoping your neck and back even make it through the day while worrying about your daughter who is stuck with your ever-failing mother because even that is safer than living with him and you, it is still better to prepare for every response on a forum about family because hey? Who knows who will come in and give advice because they have a voice?

I really don't think Jennifer comes here for fly-by advice.

At this point, she's letting us still know she's alive, (which is often a question I wonder), is still making plans for the future, is still letting us know what the plan is in case she might have overlooked something, and is seeking support the best way she can.

She really could use your help, but as a friend not a counselor. You two have a lot in common, and it would be nice for her to have you as a friend. Someone who has gotten through what she is still going through now. Please, take the time to get to know her first though. And I'll even give you a heads up. She is like me -- opinionated about many things. BUT if you do a search on this forum and start when she first joined, you can learn her story.

Bonus points for you -- and see where I did the same thing wrong that you're doing now!

Why do you think I don't understand? You are telling me I should get to know her first (which is not true in this format) yet you did not get to know me. Because if you did know me, you would know that I have been in this situation myself. My so-called parents never raised me. They would abandon us kids weeks at a time. My sister changed diapers and fed baby bottles at four years old. We would open a box of cake mix, steal from the grocery store, eat plants outside, or get into the dog's dish in order to eat. We could go out of the county, not come home at night, and there was no correction, no supervision, no child parenting.

I was kicked out at 16 so that her new rich bf would marry her, and lived as a homeless teen- where I was kidnapped, held captive in a basement for years, and constantly raped. When I got pregnant he beat me so bad my son's liver came out of his stomach. He had to go into surgery immediately from birth. When he decided that I would pretend to be his girlfriend so that I could see a doctor, and his mom took me, we were late for my appointment because my eyes pussed and swelled trying to get used to daylight after being in a basement for years- where I was not allowed to turn on lights.

He let me go to church only or to the store if I was with him. The people at church said I couldn't live in fornication- that I had to marry. They did not know if I escaped he would murder me and my child and my so called parents. I witnessed him envolved in a murder- so I knew they were not empty threats. He loaded a gun in front of me and put it to my head- threatening that I was to marry him and keep this secret. So I was forced marry my kidnapper and rapist. Years later, when he started involving my son in the abuse, witnesses called the police, and the police took me to a shelter for battered women. There I started divorce proceedings because not only did he cheat on me with the girl who lived above us, I heard them, and he bragged about it.

So dont tell me I know nothing by about it. Because I studied hard to make sure not to go against God even in the midst of my situation. And even though he did all that to me, I was not a quarrelsome wife. I never cheated on him. I never was revengeful in any way. Even today, I have to see him cause he comes over my son's house, and there is not a hint of revenge in my conversations with him. I completely forgive him for kidnapping me, raping me, kidnapping my son from me between 12-17 years old. Because, as far as it depends on me, I will please my Heavenly Father.

And in working for Him, NO! I will not stop counseling others to the best of my ability, study, and life experiences. So you can either quit telling me to do so, or I will just ignore it from here on out. And I'm not going to argue with you, or discuss this any further with you. I'm on here to do a job for my Father in heaven, and I'm not going to quit just because you tell me to.

 

[proverbs35]

Why do you think I don't understand? You are telling me I should get to know her first (which is not true in this format) yet you did not get to know me. Because if you did know me, you would know that I have been in this situation myself. My so-called parents never raised me. They would abandon us kids weeks at a time. My sister changed diapers and fed baby bottles at four years old. We would open a box of cake mix, steal from the grocery store, eat plants outside, or get into the dog's dish in order to eat. We could go out of the county, not come home at night, and there was no correction, no supervision, no child parenting.

I was kicked out at 16 so that her new rich bf would marry her, and lived as a homeless teen- where I was kidnapped, held captive in a basement for years, and constantly raped. When I got pregnant he beat me so bad my son's liver came out of his stomach. He had to go into surgery immediately from birth. When he decided that I would pretend to be his girlfriend so that I could see a doctor, and his mom took me, we were late for my appointment because my eyes pussed and swelled trying to get used to daylight after being in a basement for years- where I was not allowed to turn on lights.

He let me go to church only or to the store if I was with him. The people at church said I couldn't live in fornication- that I had to marry. They did not know if I escaped he would murder me and my child and my so called parents. I witnessed him envolved in a murder- so I knew they were not empty threats. He loaded a gun in front of me and put it to my head- threatening that I was to marry him and keep this secret. So I was forced marry my kidnapper and rapist. Years later, when he started involving my son in the abuse, witnesses called the police, and the police took me to a shelter for battered women. There I started divorce proceedings because not only did he cheat on me with the girl who lived above us, I heard them, and he bragged about it.

So dont tell me I know nothing by about it. Because I studied hard to make sure not to go against God even in the midst of my situation. And even though he did all that to me, I was not a quarrelsome wife. I never cheated on him. I never was revengeful in any way. Even today, I have to see him cause he comes over my son's house, and there is not a hint of revenge in my conversations with him. I completely forgive him for kidnapping me, raping me, kidnapping my son from me between 12-17 years old. Because, as far as it depends on me, I will please my Heavenly Father.

And in working for Him, NO! I will not stop counseling others to the best of my ability, study, and life experiences. So you can either quit telling me to do so, or I will just ignore it from here on out. And I'm not going to argue with you, or discuss this any further with you. I'm on here to do a job for my Father in heaven, and I'm not going to quit just because you tell me to.

Let's be honest. This the internet, and I have no way of verifying the veracity of this. However, if this is true, I want to say that I'm sorry that this happened to you for many reasons.

Why wasn't this abusive kidnapper ever prosecuted?

 

[JosephsDreams]

Wow. That is a stunning history. Makes me shudder when I hear of how evil people can be and what some people have been subjected too.
Thank God for Jesus and how He can restore spirit and life.

 

[OneFaith]

Let's be honest. This the internet, and I have no way of verifying the veracity of this. However, if this is true, I want to say that I'm sorry that this happened to you for many reasons.

Why wasn't this abusive kidnapper ever prosecuted?

I don't care if anyone believes me, God knows it's true. But thank you for caring. When I was going through it I wondered if anyone would ever know, or care if they did, so that means a lot.

I was watching America's Most Wanted one day. And they talked about giving families cloture. So I got up enough nerve to call the police to report a murder. They said it wasn't enough detail to go on. And that they think I'm just trying to be mean to my exhusband.

When I spoke to the police about pressing charges after I escaped, a cop actually said to me, "I hit my wife too, this is a family matter to be kept private, how dare you embarrass him like this." That was before the No Tolerance Act.

 

[Sum4nering]

(Not sure that my previous reply posted, so am re-posting it. )

No offense, but from your post it does sound like there are two sides of this story. However, if you do feel endangered, then it sounds like you are following the right path. However, I would also consider finding someone objective, perhaps a counselor or if you attend church a pastor, to talk to and help sort things out. Take care.