Do not let yourself carry any blame, guilt or think you could have did anything .. Be strong for your mom. I'm so sorry for your pain and pray you can find comfort in prayer to heal your situation and mindset .. We all reap what we sow , your dad , your mom , ourselves so try to move on, pray and seek peace that will come if you let it .. Always live in hope and we all face hard times , you are not alone and millions of homes are broken these days .. God Bless and please move closer to Jesus , it's His business to be there for us always ..
I will move closer to Jesus in this time, and I will remember that there is hope, and I will remember that this short time of suffering will be nothing compared to the glory he will give us later if we truly cling to him and let nothing separate us from his love.
God bless you too!
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