My husband just told me he doesn't want to be with us anymore.

[MattTooFor]

My heart is broken for you.

My son had brain surgery in October (age 23) and he has since climbed into a dark black hole. His face is partially disfigured from the procedure and he was a handsome boy, with a nice career and a hearty spirit. It's all gone. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out the right spiritual advice to give him.

So I know a tiny bit of what you're going through. What is there to say to someone in a dark predicament? I've tried to tell my son, no matter how despondent and no matter how dark the darkness...you always take the next step. Many times in life we just know the next single step to take and nothing more. I told him I believe God always provides at least the next step. One foot in front of the other. God bless you, sister.

 

[presidente]

I read an article online, probably a blog, from a woman, maybe an empty nester, whose husband said something like this to her. She told him, she didn't believe it. She wasn't buying it. She said they'd work it out. He went along with her suggestion and they worked through her issues.

I suspect, a lot of couples catapult toward divorce when they could avoid it because of the way the other partner reactions to the suggestion of divorce. If the reaction is 'Fine! You want a divorce. You'll get your divorce!" or calmly calling the lawyer and getting papers drawn up, those kind of things can just make it happen. If you call a lawyer, you don't have to instantly have him give your husband papers.

If you can get him to tell you what's going on, that will help. You need to consider, if he decides he's open to working through the issues, and the root of this is an affair, can you forgive him and get past that. If it's depression, some kind of emotional crisis, or disappointment at life in general, you'll have to work through those issues.

Are there some relationship issues you two are going through? Is there some reason he's not enjoying being married to you? It may not be something he's told you about either. Maybe he has some unmet expectations. People grow up watching movies and hearing stories that tell them marriage is supposed to make them happy, and if it isn't, get a divorce, and find someone else. So some people think marriage is based on their feelings and personal happiness, instead of thinking in terms of loving the other person, responsibility, glorifying God, etc.

I wouldn't go home today and tell my wife I wanted a divorce and I wanted to move away from my kids for a number of reasons. One reason is because I love my family. But I wouldn't do it for the same reason I wouldn't go out and shoot a random stranger. I want to please God and not live a sinful life.

If you talk to him and he is open, maybe he would go to a Christian counselor, maybe a visit to a pastor. Someone at the church might disciple him.

If he's got some problem with you and his expectations of marriage, there may be some things you can do to meet his expectations. If it's depression, he may need you to assure him that you'll stick with him and help him through it.

 

[Yiska]

Dear Sarah Marie,

My heart goes out to you and your girls knowing that God loves you so truly! I don't know God's plan for your life but I hope it is for your husband to repent and love you as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her! And that he will raise your's and his' daughters in the nurture and admonition of The Lord. Sometimes spouses say things and quickly repent, other times they mean them, or don't know how undo the damage they have done. All I know is that if your husband is serious about this then I pray that God be with you through the shock and the loss.

A text would be difficult to deal with because some people play cruel jokes and send texts on other people's phones when they are not looking. Yet from what you are describing with him not wanting to see the girls it must be more than a cruel joke. Jesus said: "What God has joined together let no man separate," this being so I pray that if he has friends who are a bad influence in this regard I pray they be taken out of his life speedily (or repent), and he comes to his senses.

Here I am talking on and on just yearning in my heart for God to touch your spirit and comfort you.

Peace. Xo

 

[Tinkerbell725]

He is probably cheating on you...let him go, you can't force him to stay anyway. But pray for him that he will soon wake up and repent on the sin he is committing against God and his family.

 

[Bebe11]

I am sorry this happened to you. Since you said you don't believe in divorce, would he consider going to counseling with you? Focus on the Family has a Marriage Intensive called Hope Restored. You can find more information here: http://bit.ly/2jxasBd
I pray that your husband will have a change of heart!