-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
M
i think the spiritual attacks are quite alarming? I mean, if something like that ever happened to me, i would be out of the house, living in my car until i can get a priest to go through the house!! Also i would be asking the question is there anything in my life encouraging that kind of spiritual attack? Or it could be just a geographical thing (the house).
Or it could be that there is a big spiritual battle going on toward your family, and evil senses that there is potential things could turn around, so it is fighting extra hard to destroy your family?
Or it could be that there is a big spiritual battle going on toward your family, and evil senses that there is potential things could turn around, so it is fighting extra hard to destroy your family?
I
hi pijow, wow im 56, you kids at 30 something have such deep troubles. i guess your not kids. i met a girl on christian mingle dating service. she pretended to be the women on her profile. its as if she is a "excaping through the flames" christian i think she researched what a christian should act like to compose the profile. she slowly revealed her true self. (one example occasional drinker, whats the occasion? yeah it's 4 oclock, that's an occasion) ha ha. im just saying it sometimes impossible to change a person. i love her but would only consider taking her back if she changed by becoming a real christian.
P
So here I am months later. We are living separate lives, he is still somewhat financially supporting me and the kids and we are selling our home. We have both been seeing counselors and pastors separately. He is seeing a psychotherapist who says he has years of work to do. We went to one couple's counselling session to see if there was anything to salvage. The therapist asked if there was anything I didn't know, that he could come out with so we can build trust and move forward. I said my gut was telling me there was more, and it didn't matter how ugly the truth was I'd like him to come out with it so we could deal with it and move forward. He said there was nothing else hidden. A few days later I woke up one morning after an offer was made on our house and I realized I didn't want to divorce; that I wanted to work on things or at least see what changes he could make.
Unfortunately, he had an Ashley Madison profile which he said he didn't create (but I got the concrete info and yes, he did though it shows he didn't message anyone) so there was another lie I caught him in. I also got info on an app he had and he said he never messaged on it but he did at least 3 times to yet another lie though really small. So these things got me on his case asking him what else is he still lying about.. and that I felt like he slept with someone else. I ask him to tell me who, he says "fine, I have to tell you something but later" and I said "no, tell me now I've been tortured for 4 months" and then I said I think I need a divorce and he said "then I'm not going to tell you!" I begged for the truth so I could have closure and he had me promise I wouldn't yell and that I would keep this affair info secret. I was desperate so I could move on. Finally, he discloses that yes, he had sex lots with someone we both know a few years ago, starting when our youngest was newborn, and who he has tried to get me to hang out with her, camp with her and her husband etc.
He still blames me for certain things, and doesn't seem too remorseful of the lie because he's still saying the same stuff he's been saying the past 4 months. "I have nothing left to hide" "I'm sorry" "I'm sorry for lying, it hurt more than the affair"
I'm about done. My pastor tells me to wait for God to humble him. My family and friends are so disgusted they don't want me to look back. I feel like my mind and heart have been so played with that one moment I'm 100% sure I want a divorce and have peace with it and then every once in a while at night, when all is quiet, I wonder if I'm being too rash.
I also just discovered he's been talking to one of the emotional affair partners about our marital problems right now and he doesn't know I know, but also that I have very good reason to believe now that they had sex while we were married as well.
This is all unrepentant, right? He hasn't told his pastor or anyone else (besides his other affair partner he's still in contact with) about this other huge affair as it'll blow up his whole life. He said he's made changes (he has in some areas, for sure) and plans to keep growing... but... honestly! All the lies. They haven't stopped yet. I feel like I'm giving up on my family unit here and breaking up something that could possibly be fixed for the kids. My husband desperately wants to get back together but his "fruit" is not good from what I see. I don't feel like he's changed his attitude toward me or marriage and that I should only get truth when he says so.
Unfortunately, he had an Ashley Madison profile which he said he didn't create (but I got the concrete info and yes, he did though it shows he didn't message anyone) so there was another lie I caught him in. I also got info on an app he had and he said he never messaged on it but he did at least 3 times to yet another lie though really small. So these things got me on his case asking him what else is he still lying about.. and that I felt like he slept with someone else. I ask him to tell me who, he says "fine, I have to tell you something but later" and I said "no, tell me now I've been tortured for 4 months" and then I said I think I need a divorce and he said "then I'm not going to tell you!" I begged for the truth so I could have closure and he had me promise I wouldn't yell and that I would keep this affair info secret. I was desperate so I could move on. Finally, he discloses that yes, he had sex lots with someone we both know a few years ago, starting when our youngest was newborn, and who he has tried to get me to hang out with her, camp with her and her husband etc.
He still blames me for certain things, and doesn't seem too remorseful of the lie because he's still saying the same stuff he's been saying the past 4 months. "I have nothing left to hide" "I'm sorry" "I'm sorry for lying, it hurt more than the affair"
I'm about done. My pastor tells me to wait for God to humble him. My family and friends are so disgusted they don't want me to look back. I feel like my mind and heart have been so played with that one moment I'm 100% sure I want a divorce and have peace with it and then every once in a while at night, when all is quiet, I wonder if I'm being too rash.
I also just discovered he's been talking to one of the emotional affair partners about our marital problems right now and he doesn't know I know, but also that I have very good reason to believe now that they had sex while we were married as well.
This is all unrepentant, right? He hasn't told his pastor or anyone else (besides his other affair partner he's still in contact with) about this other huge affair as it'll blow up his whole life. He said he's made changes (he has in some areas, for sure) and plans to keep growing... but... honestly! All the lies. They haven't stopped yet. I feel like I'm giving up on my family unit here and breaking up something that could possibly be fixed for the kids. My husband desperately wants to get back together but his "fruit" is not good from what I see. I don't feel like he's changed his attitude toward me or marriage and that I should only get truth when he says so.
Last edited by a moderator:
Of course it's all unrepentant. He has lied, and IS lying, to you. He HAS cheated and probably still is cheating on you. He doesn't seem truly remorseful at all. Cheaters ALWAYS say their sorry, but rarely do they mean their sorry they did it. They mean they're sorry they got caught. :/ You're leading separate lives, and have been for a long time. Your marriage ended the first time he cheated on you. He is NOT going to change because YOU want him to, he needs to change because HE wants to. And only GOD can change him. I would turn him over to God, file for divorce and get yourself out of this misery once and for all. God uses divorce to bring something better into people's lives. I know he has something better in mind for you. 
So don't keep holding onto something that isn't there anymore. He may not want to lose his marriage, but he doesn't seem to want to stop cheating and lying either. Without trust and honesty in a marriage, there is no marriage. It's clear he's dishonest and it's obvious you don't trust him. Do you want to live in deception the rest of your life and let your kids grow up in it and let them think it's ok to cheat and lie? Or do you want better for you and them? Remove yourselves out of this toxic relationship and let God work on him.
So don't keep holding onto something that isn't there anymore. He may not want to lose his marriage, but he doesn't seem to want to stop cheating and lying either. Without trust and honesty in a marriage, there is no marriage. It's clear he's dishonest and it's obvious you don't trust him. Do you want to live in deception the rest of your life and let your kids grow up in it and let them think it's ok to cheat and lie? Or do you want better for you and them? Remove yourselves out of this toxic relationship and let God work on him.