Need help quick!

[Wayne_Gearing]

My marriage is in trouble, and pretty much always has been. I had made a thread earlier about it. Iv been in an on going battle for 4 days now and Iv threatened to leave. Every time I threaten to leave he says he is gonna kill himself. I honestly in some ways feel like he would. I can admit that I have deeply hurt him in our marriage with words and actions from the beginning. I know he isn’t happy and very depressed but obviously I’m not good for him but I don’t want him dead. I can’t leave because he may try something. I really don’t want to leave in some ways but I’m just not a good wife. Help!

I am no marriage expert (several broken relationships, 1 divorce and almost a divorce recently) but I have seen this same scenario played out in my parents lives and even in my friend's life and I just want to share my insight.

Whenever someone says they are not a good wife or a good person, this is a sign of insecurity within themselves but if we go back to the Bible, especially the chapter of Ephesians, we discover that, through God and our salvation, we are redeemed, we are blessed, we are loved by God etc and if we truly believe those words, we no longer need to feel fear because we are good enough for God!

Now onto your marriage, marriages and relationships typically break down because of a lack of communication. In my view, you two need to sit down and talk. What attracted you to each other in the first place? Why did you get married? Is there anything I can do to help? Can we try couples therapy?

My best piece of advice is to seek out the Lord in prayer, go to the cross figuratively and give everything to the Lord and He will show you the way

I shall pray for you

❣️

 

[Prycejosh1987]

My marriage is in trouble, and pretty much always has been. I had made a thread earlier about it. Iv been in an on going battle for 4 days now and Iv threatened to leave. Every time I threaten to leave he says he is gonna kill himself. I honestly in some ways feel like he would. I can admit that I have deeply hurt him in our marriage with words and actions from the beginning. I know he isn’t happy and very depressed but obviously I’m not good for him but I don’t want him dead. I can’t leave because he may try something. I really don’t want to leave in some ways but I’m just not a good wife. Help!

He is going through depression and suicidal thoughts, the best thing to do is help him address his issues. Then you can choose to leave or stay.

 

[presidente]

My marriage is in trouble, and pretty much always has been. I had made a thread earlier about it. Iv been in an on going battle for 4 days now and Iv threatened to leave. Every time I threaten to leave he says he is gonna kill himself. I honestly in some ways feel like he would. I can admit that I have deeply hurt him in our marriage with words and actions from the beginning. I know he isn’t happy and very depressed but obviously I’m not good for him but I don’t want him dead. I can’t leave because he may try something. I really don’t want to leave in some ways but I’m just not a good wife. Help!

Whatever happened to you and your husband?

This is a Christian forum, and the Bible teaches that God hates divorce. Christians are supposed to stay married for life. Being in a marriage where your partner threatens to divorce is a very unhealthy, unsafe thing. Saying, "i'm not good for you, so I am going to leave you" is some messed up thinking, too, especially if the other person wants to work it out.

Rather than relying on your own opinions as to whether you are good for the other person, rely on what the Bible says. The Bible says, '...let not the wife depart from her husband....' Wives are also told to submit to their hsubands and reverence/respect their husband. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for her. I Corinthians 7 also implies that a husband is to try to please his wife and a wife is supposed to try to please her husband.

If you put the Lord first in your marriage, then you make decisions based on what He has revealed that He wants, not based on your feelings. Does the Lord want you to divorce? So then you don't divorce, and you don't threaten it, because you should do to others as you would have them do to you, and you do not want to be treated that way. Spend time praying and confessing the sins in your marriage to God and to each other. If you argue a lot, each take turns confessing your own sins, and apologize only for your own shortcomings before discussing the others. Resolve to love one another and to please one another, and then go out of your way to please the other partner in what you do and say. Speak kindly to one another.

It is possible to get out a cycle of arguing. Threatening divorce is a nuclear option. And you shouldn't threaten to do things contrary to God's revealed will.