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Hello to everyone,
I am recently married in July of 2010. Well my question is this, Yesterday my wife had expressed to me that she was planning on sending the father of my step daughter (I hate that word so let’s use my daughter instead) 19,500 dollars from her IRA. Because she made an promise to him over a house they once had together. She has had a sufficient amount of time to make good on this so called promise to him prior to us getting married and combining our finances together, but never has until now. Now when her ex is having a rough financial time do to his own choosing quitting job to job she choses to take these funds from her retirement fund. I have had difficulty with this since the man has not provided not one cent in the support of my daughter. I have paid for airline tickets/ hotel for him to see his daughter and never come between her and his relationship. He rarely communicates with her and sees her once a year in summer but always with difficulty. I have been in her life now since the age of five and I fail to see her reasoning that this will help her in her walk with Jesus. I find this as a huge insult to me and I know some might say well its her money as she also says, but I don’t see like that especially since those funds are for our future as well as that of our now 1 month old daughter and two other children. I have supported her in just about everything but cannot do this here. We have had a bumpy road to where we are now. I have asked her if she is willing to jeopardize our marriage by doing this and she says that she is going to do what is right and my question is by whom him or me your husband. She continues to state that it is not for him but that it is for her conscious. I again asked her why she would provide him with these funds if he has not provided a dime for her schooling clothes food etc. etc. and she continues to state that it is not her job or place to make him pay child support in anyway that that should come from him. I am lost and I am inches away from filing for a divorce and have asked her if she is willing to except losing me our family our relationship over this and her answer is I am doing the right thing. So whom is she doing right by? It feels as if her promise to him is more important that the vow she made to me, Please help.
I am recently married in July of 2010. Well my question is this, Yesterday my wife had expressed to me that she was planning on sending the father of my step daughter (I hate that word so let’s use my daughter instead) 19,500 dollars from her IRA. Because she made an promise to him over a house they once had together. She has had a sufficient amount of time to make good on this so called promise to him prior to us getting married and combining our finances together, but never has until now. Now when her ex is having a rough financial time do to his own choosing quitting job to job she choses to take these funds from her retirement fund. I have had difficulty with this since the man has not provided not one cent in the support of my daughter. I have paid for airline tickets/ hotel for him to see his daughter and never come between her and his relationship. He rarely communicates with her and sees her once a year in summer but always with difficulty. I have been in her life now since the age of five and I fail to see her reasoning that this will help her in her walk with Jesus. I find this as a huge insult to me and I know some might say well its her money as she also says, but I don’t see like that especially since those funds are for our future as well as that of our now 1 month old daughter and two other children. I have supported her in just about everything but cannot do this here. We have had a bumpy road to where we are now. I have asked her if she is willing to jeopardize our marriage by doing this and she says that she is going to do what is right and my question is by whom him or me your husband. She continues to state that it is not for him but that it is for her conscious. I again asked her why she would provide him with these funds if he has not provided a dime for her schooling clothes food etc. etc. and she continues to state that it is not her job or place to make him pay child support in anyway that that should come from him. I am lost and I am inches away from filing for a divorce and have asked her if she is willing to except losing me our family our relationship over this and her answer is I am doing the right thing. So whom is she doing right by? It feels as if her promise to him is more important that the vow she made to me, Please help.