problems with sexual temptation, if someone is able to help me!!!

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Sep 22, 2019
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#1
Hello, sorry for my English. I am new here, and I just want to confess my sins to someone. is hard for me to do it but I will try. I'm married to a beautiful girl, and she is pregnant, but I am addicted to porn and I don't want to carry this with me anymore. I want to be free. I don't want to hurt God anymore and to hurt my wife anymore. pleas pray for me that God will set me free. I was addicted to drugs for 6 years and He set me free, and I know that he can do it again. i know that if i will continue with this maybe she will forgive me, but i will make her suffer a lot... and i really ton want this.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#2
I have said a prayer for this area of concern and for God to strengthen your marriage. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support, and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our community. Welcome to CC.
 
Sep 22, 2019
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#3
I have said a prayer for this area of concern and for God to strengthen your marriage. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support, and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our community. Welcome to CC.
thank you!
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
10,398
6,755
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#4
Hello, sorry for my English. I am new here, and I just want to confess my sins to someone. is hard for me to do it but I will try. I'm married to a beautiful girl, and she is pregnant, but I am addicted to porn and I don't want to carry this with me anymore. I want to be free. I don't want to hurt God anymore and to hurt my wife anymore. pleas pray for me that God will set me free. I was addicted to drugs for 6 years and He set me free, and I know that he can do it again. i know that if i will continue with this maybe she will forgive me, but i will make her suffer a lot... and i really ton want this.
Not sure why I can't find this video with an English title anymore, but I'd GREATLY encourage you to watch it. It is not long, and it is in English, and I believe it will help you with this if you really want help. God Bless:

 

tjogs

Senior Member
Jun 28, 2009
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#7
Understanding wife can be great help in fight against the porn.


But i know it's not easy to ask help not mention tell the first time her about the problem if she doesn't know.
 
Sep 22, 2019
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#8
yes she knows. but the problem is that she knows that I'm free now (i was was addicted but for the last 6 months i was free) but now... this week I felt agin :(
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,667
9,386
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#9
yes she knows. but the problem is that she knows that I'm free now (i was was addicted but for the last 6 months i was free) but now... this week I felt agin :(

Actually, you're NOT free. You simply swapped one addiction for another. I would urge you to visit the Christians In Recovery thread in the Miscellanous forum. I would also suggest you talk to @calibob or @Magenta. They are both recovering addicts and probably could help you greatly. :)
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
4,396
2,547
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#10
Hello, sorry for my English. I am new here, and I just want to confess my sins to someone. is hard for me to do it but I will try. I'm married to a beautiful girl, and she is pregnant, but I am addicted to porn and I don't want to carry this with me anymore. I want to be free. I don't want to hurt God anymore and to hurt my wife anymore. pleas pray for me that God will set me free. I was addicted to drugs for 6 years and He set me free, and I know that he can do it again. i know that if i will continue with this maybe she will forgive me, but i will make her suffer a lot... and i really ton want this.
Praying for you brother... Blueladybug has great advise here - in addition to these very important suggestions - acknowledging that you have a problem and reaching out for help are both significant steps toward your recovery...
Ultimately, instead of replacing one bad addiction for another and avoid repeating that cycle it is important for you to find a positive outlet... Of course seeking this Christian Forum is a good sign that you recognize that your spiritual growth is not only a praise worthy alternative - it is important for you to eventually recognize that it is an essential necessity...
In the interim it is important to both get professional help and to find a healthy alternative (hobbies, habits, routines etc) as a means to help you begin to strike the right balance toward recovery...

Good Luck and God Bless you and your wife and your new family...
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
4,891
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#11
@Roughsoul1991 has posted some excellent links (various pastors etc) on this issue before, I don't have the link but I am making a mention so he will see and re-post. If it were up to me it should be pinned in Family section, a lot of people struggle yet don't have the courage and resolve to admit, so this keeps destroying from the inside, jeopardizing their marriage, and jeopardizing their relationship with God.
Praying that you will be strengthened and in Jesus name get healed, as well as your wife. amen
Every time you do it, you're trampling her under your feet and letting her know she isn't enough and others have to be looked at. Let this sink into your heart and line of repentance be drawn against the enemy, amen
 

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
2,872
1,728
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Texas
#12
You will have to learn to see porn for what it is. Poor dooped and entrapped women doomed to hell, and predatory men devouring the the doomed souls of women and feeding the fires of their own hell. If you learn to see these wretched as hell bound fools indulged in their own damnation under the influence of demons.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
8,200
7,629
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#13
In my case w/cigarettes and a drug, I had tried to stop repeatedly. With the cigarettes I convinced myself I didn't want to wake up w/cancer some day. With the drug, I knew by allowing it, it was not what God wanted for me, which is the best life. Only when I made my mind up 100%, did I quit. You must keep in mind that porn is a tool of the enemy who wants to keep us enslaved to him and take away our peace. There is nothing good about it and many of the girls & guys are forced into it by certain circumstances. People who prosper from this 'trap' don't care what kind of damage they are doing. God will help you be strong, God bless.
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
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#14
Hello, sorry for my English. I am new here, and I just want to confess my sins to someone. is hard for me to do it but I will try. I'm married to a beautiful girl, and she is pregnant, but I am addicted to porn and I don't want to carry this with me anymore. I want to be free. I don't want to hurt God anymore and to hurt my wife anymore. pleas pray for me that God will set me free. I was addicted to drugs for 6 years and He set me free, and I know that he can do it again. i know that if i will continue with this maybe she will forgive me, but i will make her suffer a lot... and i really ton want this.

Does this porn thing carry on from where ever you are from? I thought that the US only has this.. I have never heard of a person going from drugs to porn usually the other way around. I f this is truly your problem maybe you should seek counceling or find a priest. I mean if you are serious...
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
7,054
3,491
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#15
Hello, sorry for my English. I am new here, and I just want to confess my sins to someone. is hard for me to do it but I will try. I'm married to a beautiful girl, and she is pregnant, but I am addicted to porn and I don't want to carry this with me anymore. I want to be free. I don't want to hurt God anymore and to hurt my wife anymore. pleas pray for me that God will set me free. I was addicted to drugs for 6 years and He set me free, and I know that he can do it again. i know that if i will continue with this maybe she will forgive me, but i will make her suffer a lot... and i really ton want this.
Hello thank you for being honest.

The Barna Group, in partnership with Josh McDowell Ministry, has created a landmark study on the pervasive nature of Internet pornography and its impact on the church. Titled The Porn Phenomenon: The Explosive Growth of Pornography and How It’s Impacting Your Church, Life, and Ministry.

https://www.josh.org/key-findings-in-landmark-pornography-study-released

Let's look at some data to see the scope and effects of porn in society and the church.

  1. Over 40 million Americans are regular visitors to porn sites. The average visit lasts 6 minutes and 29 seconds
  2. There are around 42 million porn websites, which totals around 370 million pages of porn.
  3. The porn industry's annual revenue is more than the NFL, NBA and MLB combined. It is also more than the combined revenues of ABC, CBS and NBC.
  4. 47 percent of families in the United States reported that pornography is a problem in their home.
  5. Pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300 percent.
  6. Eleven is the average age that a child is first exposed to porn, and 94 percent of children will see porn by the age of 14.
  7. 56 percent of American divorces involve one party having an "obsessive interest" in pornographic websites.
  8. 70 percent of Christian youth pastors report that they have had at least one teen come to them for help in dealing with pornography in the past 12 months.
  9. 68 percent of church-going men and over 50 percent of pastors view porn on a regular basis. Of young Christian adults 18-24 years old, 76 percent actively search for porn.
  10. 59 percent of pastors said that married men seek their help for porn use.
  11. 33 percent of women aged 25-and-under search for porn at least once per month.
  12. Only 13 percent of self-identified Christian women say they never watch porn—87 percent of Christian women have watched porn.
  13. 55 percent of married men and 25 percent of married women say they watch porn at least once a month.
  14. 57 percent of pastors say porn addiction is the most damaging issue in their congregation. And 69 percent say porn has adversely impacted the church.
  15. Only 7 percent of pastors say their church has a program to help people struggling with pornography.
And this is just those who was honest....

As a teenager I delt with this because I thought it was normal. My friends was watching pornography and even my dad I caught watching it a few times.

What changed my heart was learning how much of the sex trade is linked to pornography,

http://richmondjusticeinitiative.com/the-connections-between-pornography-and-sex-trafficking

how much abortion clinics are funded by pornographic media organizations,

The link between pornography and abortion.
https://downloads.frc.org/EF/EF17K24.pdf

Effects on society as it destroys families, unhealthy families produces unhealthy children, unhealthy children are not law abiding and pornography degrades morals as for example how Ted Bundy once admitted how hardcore pornography led to his sexual female murdering spree.

Also realizing that is someone's daughter on the screen made in the image of God having to preform in such degrading situations and if you have a girlfriend or wife the psychological effects on them can be heartbreaking.

I gave it up back in Highschool as I started dating my now wife. Of all those reasons the number 1 reason that I couldn't stomach was breaking her heart. I was honest with her and she has been the best accountability partner. Doesn't mean I'm not still tempted by the images of women for example Paul explains this battle of will.

Romans 7:19-25 New International Version (NIV)
19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Your evil or sin is in the same context of sin that Paul delt with daily. But as Paul explains below I grew in Christ and now yes I no longer look at pornography but those same triggers that spark hormones still act on me if I dont quickly as Paul says to discipline the body then the only expectation is to fall in sin. Which is why I and any sinner should be just like Paul and repeat thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 New International Version (NIV)
The Need for Self-Discipline

24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
7,054
3,491
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#16
Hello, sorry for my English. I am new here, and I just want to confess my sins to someone. is hard for me to do it but I will try. I'm married to a beautiful girl, and she is pregnant, but I am addicted to porn and I don't want to carry this with me anymore. I want to be free. I don't want to hurt God anymore and to hurt my wife anymore. pleas pray for me that God will set me free. I was addicted to drugs for 6 years and He set me free, and I know that he can do it again. i know that if i will continue with this maybe she will forgive me, but i will make her suffer a lot... and i really ton want this.
It is a war within us both spiritually and physically. Unfortunately war can leave us with trauma and the result of losing the war (sin) can cause damage mentally as sin is destructive.

Your brain has been rewired like a addict to a drug. To detox you must get rid of any source, throw it away, block it, put a random lock code, and acknowledge the times when you are most tempted. Locate what triggers the hormones like if a provocative image in a magazine and do your best to remove triggers or atleast limit them.

You must replace the habit with a good habit until your brain rewired itself. Or until your new habit takes over.

Here is a good resource to download.

https://www.josh.org/resources/apologetics/research

Scroll to the bottom and you will see The Porn Epidemic


Now stop feeling guilty and regretful. Once you have repented, move on and do better. You will lose some but win some. Obviously if you over time are worse or stagnant then it could be time to seek professional help. Remember the Devil wants you to stay in guilt in which keeps you from God even longer. Jesus has already paid for your sins so all your doing is fixing your relationship that was separated or damaged by the sin.

Hormones can be just as powerful as a actual intoxicating drug. So it isnt abnormal once you get to that point your no longer making logical choices. So until your brain is rewired you must make every precaution to limit this.

But your also a Male and most males are attracted to the opposite sex. This is normal but where does your mind go? Every action comes from a thought or thoughts. Control your thoughts and usually the action will not follow.

Private message me if you need to chat more. This is by percentage unfortunately and largely a sin many Christians struggle with both men and women. So we treat it like any other sin. No shame gaming or judgement but only love, guidance and accountability.
 

PERFECTION

Active member
Aug 14, 2019
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#17
Dear FlorinBucur:
I can not begin to tell you how many pastors I have prayed with for this problem.
Sadly very few where WILLING to give up the demands of the flesh for the glory of God.
In the end it all depends on how much the Kingdom of God is worth to you.
Its not an easy decision ,as far as the flesh goes, however if you have faith enough to believe that the Holy Spirit can is willing and able to deliver you, you can be free.
If you lack faith pray for God to make up your lack
Remember you can not be delivered unless you first believe that God can deliver you.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
2,873
2,336
113
#18
Does this porn thing carry on from where ever you are from? I thought that the US only has this.. I have never heard of a person going from drugs to porn usually the other way around. I f this is truly your problem maybe you should seek counceling or find a priest. I mean if you are serious...
Porn is international. And heavily viewed all over the world.
I'm not sure why porn addiction would lead to drug addiction. Flawed logic.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
2,873
2,336
113
#19
yes she knows. but the problem is that she knows that I'm free now (i was was addicted but for the last 6 months i was free) but now... this week I felt agin :(
You were never free. That's the key. With my addiction I once went a year without viewing. But I wasn't ever free, just that the things that tended to trigger me and cause temptation weren't a thing for a while. And soon as those reasons came back I was right back into it.

Brain scans show porn addicts have similar patterns as heroin addicts. Porn addiction is literally most similar to heroin addiction, as far as the brain is concerned.
This is why will power and thought replacement alone don't usually work.

Search out sources like Fight The New Drug or XXX Church for more information.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,987
321
83
#20
Hello, sorry for my English. I am new here, and I just want to confess my sins to someone. is hard for me to do it but I will try. I'm married to a beautiful girl, and she is pregnant, but I am addicted to porn and I don't want to carry this with me anymore. I want to be free. I don't want to hurt God anymore and to hurt my wife anymore. pleas pray for me that God will set me free. I was addicted to drugs for 6 years and He set me free, and I know that he can do it again. i know that if i will continue with this maybe she will forgive me, but i will make her suffer a lot... and i really ton want this.
You don't need to confess anything to us, confess to God and pray for the strength to overcome.. You never completely overcome the flesh since we can't escape it, we can only bring our flesh under subjection to the spirit. Lust begins with desires, don't look and you have nothing to desire. Its like when Eve was tempted by the serpent, her mistake was standing there looking at the forbidden fruit in the first place. In my experience, God does not remove the temptation, but He gives us the strength to resist them. Our heart goes to what we dwell on.