PTSD Episode in Church Today

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JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,235
2,530
113
#21
Ummmmmm? I didn't say I had to "hold it together" or that anything affected me strongly, nor did I break down.....I think you have me confused with the OP ;) Peace!!
Yep you are right....sorry.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
2,082
1,330
113
#23
I'd be curious to know what he does with what Jesus said as the only reason for divorce (adultery)

It's right there in black and white. If he can't/won't answer I would want to know why. Email or letter perhaps?

It could be he didn't explain well. Scripture doesn't say you "have" to divorce someone if they committed adultery...just that you "can" if you so choose. Perhaps he was cautioning against that for some reason I can't see well.


There "could" be reasons in certain situations where the woman shares some of the blame by refusing a man (which is unbiblical), using sex as a weapon, etc...maybe he didn't elaborate to be delicate? Or he felt led to say it for reasons unknown.


Doesn't "sound" like any of these things are the case but occasionally giving someone the benefit of the doubt (coupled with due diligence) turns up a thing or two.
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
420
221
43
#24
I'd be curious to know what he does with what Jesus said as the only reason for divorce (adultery)

It's right there in black and white. If he can't/won't answer I would want to know why. Email or letter perhaps?

It could be he didn't explain well. Scripture doesn't say you "have" to divorce someone if they committed adultery...just that you "can" if you so choose. Perhaps he was cautioning against that for some reason I can't see well.


There "could" be reasons in certain situations where the woman shares some of the blame by refusing a man (which is unbiblical), using sex as a weapon, etc...maybe he didn't elaborate to be delicate? Or he felt led to say it for reasons unknown.


Doesn't "sound" like any of these things are the case but occasionally giving someone the benefit of the doubt (coupled with due diligence) turns up a thing or two.
Forgiveness is an option. Condemnation by us is not required
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
8,863
4,513
113
#25
Church was extremely triggering for me today, and I’ve needed to have a good cry the whole day (but had six other people, besides my kids, at my house all day). The pastor was preaching that only death can end a marriage, and that divorce for any reason was sin (he doesn’t believe adultery is a reason either). He was talking about renewing the relationship with an estranged spouse. I don’t know why I still act so strongly when triggered (I have been away from the abuse and him for eight years!) but first I started getting angry, then numb, and now I’m extremely depressed and feel that I’m looked down upon because I divorced first a cheater and then and abuser. I feel that because of their choices, I am not allowed to remarry (if I ever actually wanted to). I started having a panic attack remembering how many times I tried to fix our marriage and how the abuse just kept getting worse. I wish I could get an answer directly from Jesus, because the “covenant marriage” movement is very judgmental towards abused women who choose to divorce, and the bible is grey on the topic. I am frustrated that my body still triggers from the abuse, and even thinking about it, eight years later! 😢 And I am very confused about why churches preach that people who divorce because of abuse do evil while mentioning nothing about men who abuse their wives.
I would find a new church that is Biblical. Remember it isn't the thoughts and opinions of humans that matter. It is the Word of God. The Word God justified your actions. You should live free of judgement. Feel free to release such chains that may be holding you down or back. Focus on the love and peace of Christ. With my group, I had them symbolically write down their fears or pains, and we burnt them in a release offering to God. Old Testament vibe but symbolically to represent a spiritual truth. The more we lay at the feet of Jesus, who can bear our burdens, pains, tears, etc., the more we experience the freedom that Christ offers. Stand on God's Word and let no human have the power to trigger you when they are not speaking the truth. Bless you and be at peace.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,815
7,789
113
#26
I have been enjoying and sharing this person's scriptural based advice on dealing with narcissists, and they are all around us, perhaps you were attached to one, in this, and I have copied it at this point, she speaks of how the biblical instruction to stay married was not intended to keep us in an abusive relationship. She has quite a few good, sound videos.
I hope you are blessed from them as I am.