Church was extremely triggering for me today, and I’ve needed to have a good cry the whole day (but had six other people, besides my kids, at my house all day). The pastor was preaching that only death can end a marriage, and that divorce for any reason was sin (he doesn’t believe adultery is a reason either). He was talking about renewing the relationship with an estranged spouse. I don’t know why I still act so strongly when triggered (I have been away from the abuse and him for eight years!) but first I started getting angry, then numb, and now I’m extremely depressed and feel that I’m looked down upon because I divorced first a cheater and then and abuser. I feel that because of their choices, I am not allowed to remarry (if I ever actually wanted to). I started having a panic attack remembering how many times I tried to fix our marriage and how the abuse just kept getting worse. I wish I could get an answer directly from Jesus, because the “covenant marriage” movement is very judgmental towards abused women who choose to divorce, and the bible is grey on the topic. I am frustrated that my body still triggers from the abuse, and even thinking about it, eight years later! 😢 And I am very confused about why churches preach that people who divorce because of abuse do evil while mentioning nothing about men who abuse their wives.