Sadness in my heart...........

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aluevano

Guest
#1
My 18 yr old just got his license and asked me if he could borrow my car to go c his girlfriend. I hesitated but I gave in. He's been driving me around lately bcause he wanted to gain practice for his driving test, I was really shock at how well he drives.My problem is my husband he blew his top off.He's not the father and hes always attacking every mistake he makes. I do admit I made a mistake by not telling him ahead of time that I was going to do that, I have no excuse buf I was afraid. I wanted to avoid an argum.When I prayed got told me to tell him so I did and now he's nof speaking to me. what should I do?
 

my_adonai_

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2012
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#2
ask Him to forgive you for not telling him.
and just aswell, you should tell him not to be that way before your son. Love covers a multitude of sins..
and there is no need to be afraid, see when we are honest, GOD backs us up one way or the other.
And be not afraid GOD is with you through this, continue seeking Him on the matter.

Php 4:5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
Php 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Php 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
 

hattiebod

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2012
1,214
25
0
#3
My 18 yr old just got his license and asked me if he could borrow my car to go c his girlfriend. I hesitated but I gave in. He's been driving me around lately bcause he wanted to gain practice for his driving test, I was really shock at how well he drives.My problem is my husband he blew his top off.He's not the father and hes always attacking every mistake he makes. I do admit I made a mistake by not telling him ahead of time that I was going to do that, I have no excuse buf I was afraid. I wanted to avoid an argum.When I prayed got told me to tell him so I did and now he's nof speaking to me. what should I do?
You son can legally drive on the road, alone? I am not sure why this is such a problem, you say it's your car & your son can legally drive....? So where in this is the big mistake? God Bless you, <><
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,526
522
113
#4
You son can legally drive on the road, alone? I am not sure why this is such a problem, you say it's your car & your son can legally drive....? So where in this is the big mistake? God Bless you, <><
Sounds as if the husband just doesn't like the boy, and is looking for any excuse to put him down. Likely, he's probably the same with his wife. She sounds like she's repeating ideas she's been told, rather than having these thoughts genuinely or on her own. The husbands sounds somewhat abusive and controlling.
At least that's my guess. Guess we have to wait and see for sure. :)
 

yac11

Senior Member
Mar 24, 2013
576
7
0
#5
My 18 yr old just got his license and asked me if he could borrow my car to go c his girlfriend. I hesitated but I gave in. He's been driving me around lately bcause he wanted to gain practice for his driving test, I was really shock at how well he drives.My problem is my husband he blew his top off.He's not the father and hes always attacking every mistake he makes. I do admit I made a mistake by not telling him ahead of time that I was going to do that, I have no excuse buf I was afraid. I wanted to avoid an argum.When I prayed got told me to tell him so I did and now he's nof speaking to me. what should I do?
I am confused, he has a license (you mean permit) but he didn't take his test and that's why he needs experience? You were hesitant to let him go off to girlfriends but gave in? Was it a bad idea because if your talking permit, doesn't someone have to be in the car, say you if he doesn't have his full drivers liscence? Is that why your husbands upset?

I am sorry but from the way I am reading this, you are the adult and if you allowed your permitted child to take your car knowing that your husband wouldn't of agreed it is wrong. It is also wrong legally as I thought if you only have a permit someone else has to be in the car with the young driver? I would be sad to because I am sorry but you need to be stronger.
You need to pray and ask God for strength not to be your son's friend but his parent. Apologize to your husband in front of your son and explain so your son hears it loud and clear that your actions were misguided. I will say a prayer for your husband to be a big man and calm down and you go forward and live in love. God Bless
 

kessy001

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
133
3
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#6
Sincerely apologize. I guess he is just upset you didn't carry him along. Give him some time, he would get over it. It's well with you and your home.
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,526
522
113
#7
Sincerely apologize. I guess he is just upset you didn't carry him along. Give him some time, he would get over it. It's well with you and your home.
The husband got upset over the 18 year old taking the car by himself, to his girlfriends house. He was not upset because he wasn't part of the practice driving that took place before that.
 

hattiebod

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2012
1,214
25
0
#8
Sounds as if the husband just doesn't like the boy, and is looking for any excuse to put him down. Likely, he's probably the same with his wife. She sounds like she's repeating ideas she's been told, rather than having these thoughts genuinely or on her own. The husbands sounds somewhat abusive and controlling.
At least that's my guess. Guess we have to wait and see for sure. :)
I 'read' that too...let's hope we are wrong..:) <><
 
Apr 15, 2013
236
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#9
My 18 yr old just got his license and asked me if he could borrow my car to go c his girlfriend. I hesitated but I gave in. He's been driving me around lately bcause he wanted to gain practice for his driving test, I was really shock at how well he drives.My problem is my husband he blew his top off.He's not the father and hes always attacking every mistake he makes. I do admit I made a mistake by not telling him ahead of time that I was going to do that, I have no excuse buf I was afraid. I wanted to avoid an argum.When I prayed got told me to tell him so I did and now he's nof speaking to me. what should I do?
I have a step father and he often did this to me too. I think it's an alpha-male issue. He wants to be in control, to be the man of the house, and when you leave him out of the loop he thinks your son has more of a relationship and hold on you than he does. In a way it can be a jealous thing.

If he isn't the father, technically, it isn't really his business where he goes or what he does, to a certain extent. Although you want the scenario to be a 'together' scenario, which is worthy of applause.

But what I would say is that, it's really not that big of an issue in the big-picture. You said yes to your son's request to use your car to go to his girlfriends, and everything is perfectly legal. You, as a mother, have the right to make such decisions; particularly as it's your car, and he is your son.

I think your husband is over-reacting personally. What I would do is sit down with him and ask him why it bothered him so much. Don't prod fingers, but just try to understand your husband's point of view. And then you can take some time to think about whether it is really fair for your husband to request the things that he is requesting from you; whether his wants are merited.

Perhaps when he tells you, the three of you can sit down and calmly explain the situation to one-another and come to some sort of mutual understanding that you can use in future situations.
 
Apr 15, 2013
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#10
If your husband puts it down to 'my-way-or-the-highway', you can either agree or disagree. Personally, for both you and your son's sake, I'd disagree and tell him things need to change, if he does put his foot down that way.
 

Nancyer

Senior Member
Mar 6, 2012
782
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#11
Php 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
My prayers for aluevano and her son. While I believe she should not have given in to her son and she probably should have been more forthright with her husband it sounds like she has other problems.

I truly don't mean to nit-pick, but may I ask what translation your using? Php 4:6,7 is one of my favorite scriptures but in my NIV it states "Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." The word careful there seems odd. I know that different translations give words different meanings, I was just wondering.

Again I'm not one to nit pick, just curious. God bless.
 

sandtigeress

Senior Member
Apr 29, 2013
515
9
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#12
Well, if you son is legally allowed to drive and you told him, he can have you car, then everything is allright on that scope.

That you are afraid to talk to your husband, is not a good sign, in your relationship with your husband.
You ought to find out, how deep your fear is, and what can be done about that (with gods help) and
together with your husband.
When you say "your husnand blew his head off", you were not wrong in fearing an argument.

Think it over, how you would feel, if the situation, where the other way round.
If you still think he overreacts, you might have to talk about that (pray before, then god will give you the patiance).
Because, there should be no fear, in talking with one spouse.
There can be arguments, and blowing tops off, if you are that kind of people :) but fear is definitly not good !
 
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aluevano

Guest
#13
Thank you for the advice. I left out that My son passed he's driving test yesterday, otherwise I would of never loan him the car. I know thats legally wrong.
 

yac11

Senior Member
Mar 24, 2013
576
7
0
#14
Thank you for the advice. I left out that My son passed he's driving test yesterday, otherwise I would of never loan him the car. I know thats legally wrong.
Thank you and God Bless you and I will say a prayer that you and your husband have peace and you take care of your family along with given each other the respect that each needs. Bless you