Should I remarry please help!!!!!

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Lortiz90

Guest
#1
I am recently divorce after being seperated for 4 years and married for only 9 months. We were together as bf/gf for nearly 3 years and during that time we had physical fights constant arguing and I only stayed because I had a baby at 17 and had nobody else to turn to. I soon started working and began being noticed by other men, I started cheating and fell for my coworker. He was in a relationship as well, his gf found out mine never really did and i lied when he did find something. After my fling and i departed i was very sad and my bf asked to marry....i said yes for the wrong reason which was for a wedding....i did not really want him
i was not attracted anymore but planning a wedding made me forget my pain. Soon after we marry i wanted a divorce fighting was worse and it was not good for our 1 year old so we seperated after 9 months.. soon after I met my bf who ive been with since then. Ive moved on and im very happy with him...my question is could i marry him and not be sinning? we have changed our lives and have a son together and want to build and have a healthy happy relationship without feeling like we are doing wrong.....p.s. I was married by Justice of the peace. I really dont feel like God made us for each other.
 

T_Laurich

Senior Member
Mar 24, 2013
3,356
122
63
29
#2
I am sorry but you do not understand what marriage is...

You will just as quickly fall out of this marriage as you did the last...

This video will pertain to you hugely... And if you do remarry based off of the scriptures I have read you will be committing adultery

[video=youtube;XBp8M8M4DMs]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBp8M8M4DMs[/video]
 
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Jesusismyrock

Guest
#3
It might be wrong but it can be forgiven, no worse than any other sin
 
J

Jesusismyrock

Guest
#5
No, that's not what I meant. All the time people sin knowing it's a sin, Christians aswell. If you remarry doesn't mean you go to hell obviously
 

T_Laurich

Senior Member
Mar 24, 2013
3,356
122
63
29
#6
No, that's not what I meant. All the time people sin knowing it's a sin, Christians aswell. If you remarry doesn't mean you go to hell obviously
So its okay then because she loves Jesus, she can go against scripture knowingly and she won't have the threat of hell... She will be put into heaven???

Should she repent before or after she gets married....

Also when she repents; does she repent 24/7 her whole life since she most likely won't get a divorce if she has found "true love"

I am not trying to be brash.. But to give someone the advice that it can be forgiven is not the best advice in my opinion
 
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Lortiz90

Guest
#7
I dont think its ok to pursue pleasure knowing it will be forgiven. My bf and i now have stopped having sex long ago since it is a sin. We have taken numerous pre marital classes and im well aware what marriage is and what it takes to make it work. I have read my Bible and agree with the first poster it may be wrong....im unsure about it being recognized as a covenant in Gods eyes. Ive read info from different pastors about remarriage....most say the same...i really dont feel God was apart of our relationship at all...as we werent big believers and such. I was young and dumb then and have since matured and repented my sins. What im really stuck on is if it was a valid marriage. Im a devoted bible reader and church goer and am only making sure im doing the right thing...the differences in these two relationships is God is involved greatly in this one and wasn't at all in the last. I believe that with Him involved in this hopefully soon to be marriage it will not fall.
 

eddie1801

Senior Member
Jun 9, 2013
127
1
0
#8
Hello:

I pray that God speaks to you in this matter. However, there are some things I am not clear about. I could PM you if you want..cause it seems there is some missing pieces to this story (about your current bf). However, what I do know is that God can give you clear direction if you want it. Also..God will speak clearly to you concerning this matter. If you want God to speak clearly about this matter, be willingly to hear and accept what he a has to say. It may not be what we want to hear at the time. I suggest prayer and fasting to obtain clear direction from God. PM me if you like.
 
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Jesusismyrock

Guest
#9
I'm. It saying do it because it can be forgiven but Christians and atheists or whatever religion sin all the time knowingly. If you remarry you don't repent 24/7, you don't try and divorce again because that is even worse again.
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#10
It sounds like a number of years have passed. The real question here is not whether or not you are "happy with him", or whether he will provide for your children, but whether you have addressed the necessary issues as to why the first marriage failed, and what God wants of a Christian husband and wife. This question is much more complicated than can be decided in this thread. You need to find a Christian counsellor or pastor, who can talk you through these things. In the process of doing this, you will discover where the sin does or does not lie.
 
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Lortiz90

Guest
#11
@eddie I would like for you to PM maybe the missing pieces will help...i also agree fasting and the want and will to hear Our Father give me an answer will be best.
 
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Lortiz90

Guest
#12
@kenisyes yes sir I have sat back and reviewed my failed marriage...a lot of it was due to plain ignorance. I agree that a christian counselor will help resolve a lot of my issues. Thank you for your comment.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,782
2,952
113
#13
You will not go to hell for remarrying. You were not a Christian in your first marriage. God sees you as brand new.

Go the counseling route and do not listen to the doomsday sayers in this thread. God wants you to have a good home and family. Since you are already living together, you might as well make it right by getting married.

Thank goodness we have a God who forgives our mistakes and sins!
 
M

marrion

Guest
#14
Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery and told her to go and sin no more.
i think this sums it up.
Moses also granted the children of israel permission to divorce because of the hardness of their hearts but Jesus said in the beginning it was not supposed to be this way.
Ideally Jesus wants a man and a woman to become one flesh and stay married until death but in the real world people make mistakes because they are not well informed on what marriage is supposed to be and they rush into it.
They do not go into it prayerfully and they also do not allow Jesus to join them together in his timing.
Many are rushed into relationships and marriage by friends,family, peer pressure and lust.
My advice for you is to seek the Lord in prayer about what to do.He will answer you because you are trying to please him by inquiring of him as to what to do.
Here are some scriptures concerning this subject:
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Matthew 19:5,6 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:8-9 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh
Matthew 5:31-32 It hath been said WHOSOEVER shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I (Jesus) say unto you, That WHOSOEVER shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication*, causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

DIVORCE
Malachi 2:16 "For I hate divorce" says the Lord, the God of Israel, "and (I also hate) him who covers his garment with wrong," says the Lord of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

"REMARRIAGE"
Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication and shall marry another, commiteth adultery, and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall putaway his wife, saving for the cause of fornication*, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Mark 10:11-12 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

BIBLICAL COUNSEL IF DIVORCE HAPPENS:
I Corinthians 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
I Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace…(v.39) The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to who she will; only in the Lord.
Romans 7:2,3 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
 
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Lortiz90

Guest
#15
Thanks so much for all the comments! We do have a forgiving God and if I dont get the exact answer im looking for I pray He forgives me. God bless you all!
 
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#16
Thanks so much for all the comments! We do have a forgiving God and if I dont get the exact answer im looking for I pray He forgives me. God bless you all!
Does this mean that if you don't get the answer you are looking for, you'll do what you want anyway and then pray he forgives you? This is dangerous thinking. Remember that God watches the heart. Blessings.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#17
Yeah, God looks at the heart before the actions. Because the heart is where the actions stem from. And your actions reflect what is inside you. Apparently what's in your heart is 'screw God, i'll do what i want'. Why bother praying if you're going to do what you want regardless?
This is just another 'i don't want advice, i want people to agree with me' posts.
And by the way, God doesn't create people for each other. This is not a biblical concept. We are created for God, not men or women.
 

Misty77

Senior Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#18
Your situation sounds like a very complicated one. I suggest talking to your pastor and going forward in prayer.
 

TheAristocat

Senior Member
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#19
Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery and told her to go and sin no more.
i think this sums it up.
Moses also granted the children of israel permission to divorce because of the hardness of their hearts but Jesus said in the beginning it was not supposed to be this way.
Ideally Jesus wants a man and a woman to become one flesh and stay married until death but in the real world people make mistakes because they are not well informed on what marriage is supposed to be and they rush into it.
They do not go into it prayerfully and they also do not allow Jesus to join them together in his timing.
Many are rushed into relationships and marriage by friends,family, peer pressure and lust.
My advice for you is to seek the Lord in prayer about what to do.He will answer you because you are trying to please him by inquiring of him as to what to do.
Here are some scriptures concerning this subject:
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Matthew 19:5,6 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:8-9 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh
Matthew 5:31-32 It hath been said WHOSOEVER shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I (Jesus) say unto you, That WHOSOEVER shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication*, causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

DIVORCE
Malachi 2:16 "For I hate divorce" says the Lord, the God of Israel, "and (I also hate) him who covers his garment with wrong," says the Lord of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

"REMARRIAGE"
Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication and shall marry another, commiteth adultery, and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall putaway his wife, saving for the cause of fornication*, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Mark 10:11-12 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

BIBLICAL COUNSEL IF DIVORCE HAPPENS:
I Corinthians 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
I Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace…(v.39) The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to who she will; only in the Lord.
Romans 7:2,3 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
My only regret is that I can only like this post once. We may have a forgiving God, but in this situation it still appears to be adultery - not marriage. So can you get married again? Right now? Not in God's eyes. You might as well not even go through the ceremony.
 
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notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#20
I fail to see the maturity in this relationship. Do nothing until you receive lots and lots of counseling. Doing the same things over and over while expecting a different outcome is insanity.

You are still rationalizing and acting to cover for prior mistakes. You live together and have children then think about marriage? You must learn to love the Lord more than anything else only then will you develop the capacity to love another person.

For the cause of Christ
Roger