Strongholds.......

[ForeverForgiven]

Can someone help me, please! I am living with these lies that I have heard my whole life. I am trying to get out from under them, and seem to find myself unable to do so. It started when I was really young. I would say 'I want' and I would be told 'I don't care what you want'. I would offer my opinion on something and I would get told 'your opinion doesn't matter.' When I was 4, my mom picked my sister and I up from the babysitters, when we got home, my sister told mom that the babysitters husband molested us. Mom told us to stay away from him, and that was all my sister and I could do about it. The next day he did it again. Mom did nothing about it.
I could never do anything right, or pleasing. I always felt unloved and like I was in the way. Unwanted. Mom would go out and drink on the weekends. And send me downstairs to watch tv during the week. She didn't spend time with me. My parents divorced when I was two. I have always felt unloved, unwanted. Unless it was to clean the house, then I was wanted. I didn't get to go anywhere or do anything until the house was cleaned on Saturdays. And it had to be CLEAN. If I didn't do what I was told when I was told, I got spanked, with a 1/4 inch paddle. If I didn't clean something right, I got spanked. If I was sent to bed and my sister and I layed there and talked, we got spanked. You get the point...
So here is my issue.... I am 33 years old, I live with my mom, and I am still going thru the same things. She doesn't spank me anymore, but she does that in other ways. I don't know how to get out from under the strongholds that my mother has placed in my head. I still don't matter, I am still unwanted, and I still feel unloved.
If anyone has any advice please share it. Thank you and God bless you.

 

[choZn]

I am certainly not qualified to respond to your post with advice as I have never experienced these situations. However, I can assure you that you are not unloved. Psalms 139 and Romans 8:35-39 offer great descriptions of the depth of love God has for each of us. You are an amazing creation brought to life from the very mind and heart of God. When we create something-a work of art, a new recipe, etc.- aren't we proud of it?
How much moreso is God proud of us then, His creations. You have known some harsh times. You have much in common with our Saviour. Lean on Him. He understands. He is your strength when you are weak and your source of joy when none can be found. My prayers and thought are with you as well.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phillipians 4:13

 

[AnandaHya]

God loves you! and what you say does matter.

YouTube - God's love letter

have you considered moving? do you go to church? perhaps talk to one of the christian women? the Methodist church has something called Stephen ministers and some of them or men or women who train for 6 months in the Bible and Christian counselling. they get linked up with people who need someone to talk to and going through tough times and pray with. I have one who tells me I can call 24-7. Perhaps that would help you break free of the strongholds?

At least you will have some physically tell you that you matter, and remember God always listens to you. 24-7 all you have to do is pray.

May God's peace wrap you in His Love, mercy and grace and bring people into your life that will help you become the beuatiful person God means for you to be.

YouTube - God's love letter

 

[KezE]

Hi Jess. Your story broke my heart & please know that it breaks God's heart too. This is so far from what He wants for you. My advice is to pray that God will reveal to you who you are to Him, how He sees you. Pray this over & over & over. It doesn't matter how often you pray it, just keep doing it until you feel that there is a change.
I had a good up-bringing, so I cannot know what you went through & how it has shaped you. but I have recently experienced the break down of my marriage & have struggled with self-esteem. I wrote down a list (using the alphabet) to remind myself of who I am in Christ. This is it, I hope it helps you:
I am:
Adopted (i.e. I am God's own daughter!) - Ephesians 1:5
Blessed (i.e. empowered to succeed)- Ephesians 1:3 / Beautiful - (Psalm 45:11)
Called (my life has purpose!) - Romans 8:28
Dead to sin - Romans 6:11
Empowered - Ephesians 1:19
Forgiven - 1 John 1:9
Gifted - Romans 12:6
Healed - Isaiah 53:5, Psalm 147:3
made in His Image - Genesis 1:27
Justified - Romans 5:1
King's daughter (i.e. a princess!) - Romans 8:16&17
Loved - John 3:16, Isaiah 49:16, Romans 8:38-9
a Masterpiece - Psalm 139:14
New Creation - 2 Corinthians 5:17
Overcomer - Romans 8:37, John 16:33
Powerful - Romans 8:31, James 5:16
Righteous - Romans 4:23-4
Sanctified - 1 Corinthians 6:11
Treasured - Exodus 19:5, Isaiah 49:16, Psalm 139:17-18
Victorious - 1 Corinthians 15:57
Warrior - Galations 6:11-12

 

[wolfywolfs]

stand up to your mother show her your place your not a kid anymore your an adult its time to grow up and be a lion make sure she knows what she did to you and its now going to stop once you done that move out and leave her let her be by herself she will do many things to stop you from leaving, quilt trips, threaten to commit suicide ignore them this woman took your dreams away go and get them back

 

[Ramon]

Can someone help me, please! I am living with these lies that I have heard my whole life. I am trying to get out from under them, and seem to find myself unable to do so. It started when I was really young. I would say 'I want' and I would be told 'I don't care what you want'. I would offer my opinion on something and I would get told 'your opinion doesn't matter.' When I was 4, my mom picked my sister and I up from the babysitters, when we got home, my sister told mom that the babysitters husband molested us. Mom told us to stay away from him, and that was all my sister and I could do about it. The next day he did it again. Mom did nothing about it.
I could never do anything right, or pleasing. I always felt unloved and like I was in the way. Unwanted. Mom would go out and drink on the weekends. And send me downstairs to watch tv during the week. She didn't spend time with me. My parents divorced when I was two. I have always felt unloved, unwanted. Unless it was to clean the house, then I was wanted. I didn't get to go anywhere or do anything until the house was cleaned on Saturdays. And it had to be CLEAN. If I didn't do what I was told when I was told, I got spanked, with a 1/4 inch paddle. If I didn't clean something right, I got spanked. If I was sent to bed and my sister and I layed there and talked, we got spanked. You get the point...
So here is my issue.... I am 33 years old, I live with my mom, and I am still going thru the same things. She doesn't spank me anymore, but she does that in other ways. I don't know how to get out from under the strongholds that my mother has placed in my head. I still don't matter, I am still unwanted, and I still feel unloved.
If anyone has any advice please share it. Thank you and God bless you.

My friend it sounds like the Lord is preparing you for a very great purpose. I see the hand of the Lord on your life. All of this in the past was for a purpose, that maybe you haven't seen yet. Even this post shows the pattern of it. My friend, I am not sure exactly what his calling for you is, but I want to tell you something very important. Please remember this:

We will certainly be left alone, as that is the way it must be. But we will NEVER BE FORSAKEN!!! NEVER!! Many of the prophets were despised, and many of them were hated, because they also battled strongholds in the nations. God set them up as battle axes. When you fight against a stronghold, you are not fighting against flesh my friend. There is only one Power that can help you then, and it is GOD HIMSELF, IN PERSON!! My friend, walk with Jesus. Walk right behind Jesus, and he will show you how many things you have to suffer for following him. But remember this, that no matter what happens in this Life, following Jesus, right up till the day of his death is worth more than ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!! IT IS THE HONOR OF HONORS!! THE GLORY OF GLORIES! Because in this, The Father is Glorified in the Son. But look forward to the hope of the resurrection. Because in this we see the manifestation of the glory

May Jesus bless you and keep you.

 

[dmdave17]

So here is my issue.... I am 33 years old, I live with my mom, and I am still going thru the same things. She doesn't spank me anymore, but she does that in other ways. I don't know how to get out from under the strongholds that my mother has placed in my head. I still don't matter, I am still unwanted, and I still feel unloved.
If anyone has any advice please share it. Thank you and God bless you.

I find your choice of names interesting, since forgiveness seems to be the biggest issue you are facing in your life right now. Your name is correct; all of our sins, past, present and future, have been forgiven through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

It may sound strange, but I believe that what you need to do is forgive your mother. You seem to harbor a lot of bitterness in your heart toward her, and the life she has put you through. While this is natural, I would submit that it is that very bitterness that is keeping you from moving on in your life. It may be that, in order to forgive her, you will need to move out of her house. Since you say you are 33, and don't mention that she is infirm in any way, I assume that this is possible.

In dealing with your situation, I think you would be wise to remember Paul's words in his letter to the Colossians, "...clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14, emphasis added)

One thing I can tell you for sure. When my mother died, there were unresolved issues between us, and I have had a heavy heart ever since.

God be with you in your struggles.