The sin of refusing sex

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presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#1
I Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
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#3
That last sentence though. Extremely blunt. He isn’t saying you will fail, but he makes it clear to not have confidence in the flesh. Don’t even give the enemy the opportunity to tempt you. How about that?
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#4
Is he saying you'd better have sex again after fasting so the devil doesn't tempt you, or is he saying to fast and come together again so the devil doesn't tempt you?
 
May 25, 2015
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#5
I think I'm in the wrong place....

Someone kindly point to the exit.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
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#6
I agree that neither should withhold sex, but they should agree on certain details such as frequency, acts, etc. Maybe counseling is needed. However, it is not a good idea to threaten one's spouse with this verse as it is a huge turn-off if that spouse is feeling distant for whatever reason (over some disagreement, some issue such as lying, being disrespectful, etc.).
 

chanchuinchoy

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2015
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Sungei Buloh, Selangor, Malaysia
#7
I Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
OMG. Since when refusing sexual relations is a sins? Totally rubbish.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
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#8
Sex is important in a marriage. I mean if I'm not mistaken, it is one of the main reasons to get married. Paul says those that cannot contain should get married and it is better to marry than to burn. And then you have the verse that says, married partners are not supposed to withhold sex from one another.

So I assume, to just withhold sex unless you are fasting, sick, or something major like that could be a sin.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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710
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#9
OMG. Since when refusing sexual relations is a sins? Totally rubbish.
Let's suppose you got married. I've got colors turned off on my computer and can't see your gender. But let's suppose your spouse would only sleep with you once per year even though you expressed a need for more than that. Considering the verse I quoted, do you think there is nothing sinful about that?
 

chanchuinchoy

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2015
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Sungei Buloh, Selangor, Malaysia
#10
But let's suppose your spouse would only sleep with you once per year even though you expressed a need for more than that
the only reason why your wife is still your wife is because she loves you and if she loves you, why would she not want to sleep with you?
Considering the verse I quoted, do you think there is nothing sinful about that?
According to my understanding, on the scripture that you have quoted in 1 Corinthians 7:5 is that only under the circumstance of prayer a couple may apart and must be join together again after that so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control. when a couple is apart, satan will attack the couple marriage with adultery in order to defy Gods commandment. This is especially so if the couple is Christian whose marriage is bonded by the blood of our Lord Jesus.
 

chanchuinchoy

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2015
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Sungei Buloh, Selangor, Malaysia
#11
Sex is important in a marriage. I mean if I'm not mistaken, it is one of the main reasons to get married
In my opinion, you are absolutely RIGHT.
So I assume, to just withhold sex unless you are fasting, sick, or something major like that could be a sin.
Is this new Christian doctrine?
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#12
the only reason why your wife is still your wife is because she loves you and if she loves you, why would she not want to sleep with you?


You are probably using 'your' in a generic sense here, but I wasn't talking about my wife when I mentioned a wife or husband only agreeing to sex once a year. That would be terrible, but there are couples in 'sexless marriages' that have sex extremely infrequently or never. I don't know about the feelings of the one holding out. I suppose some people just don't care for sex at all, and some married people don't like their husband or wife, and that could be at the root of the problem.

But if we are to marry to prevent fornication, and one partner witholds sex like that, it defeats the purpose of getting married..part of it....speaking specifically of that particular purpose.

According to my understanding, on the scripture that you have quoted in 1 Corinthians 7:5 is that only under the circumstance of prayer a couple may apart and must be join together again after that so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control. when a couple is apart, satan will attack the couple marriage with adultery in order to defy Gods commandment. This is especially so if the couple is Christian whose marriage is bonded by the blood of our Lord Jesus.
So then wouldn't it be wrong to shut one's partner in marriage off from sex?

I'm not talking about not having sex because she just gave birth or had her period, or husband or wife were just in a car accident and broke their pelvis.
 

chanchuinchoy

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2015
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Sungei Buloh, Selangor, Malaysia
#14
I suppose some people just don't care for sex at all, and some married people don't like their husband or wife, and that could be at the root of the problem.
The reason is the couple no longer love each other that why they never have sex together, thats why the couple have problem
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
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#15
Sin is about offending God. What about the sin of the husband who does not love his wife as Christ loved the church? What about the vows to honour and respect? If you love them and want their best, does demanding what you want despite the wishes of your partner, show love? Is your wife tired, ill, sad or overwhelmed? Be considerate. Help where you can and care about her. These are biblical mandates. Maybe it is time to look at your responsibilities towards your wife as an act of love for God. I am not sure how impressed God is with any of his children stomping their feet and demanding their rights. Love your neighbour/wife as you love yourself.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
2,295
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#17
In my opinion, you are absolutely RIGHT.

Is this new Christian doctrine?
I hope not. I'm not trying to make a new doctrine or anything like that...lol All I'm trying to say is that from reading scripture, it just appears wrong to withhold sex just to be holding out or whatever.

We have the scripture that says with consent for only a time and then come back together so that satan don't tempt you. Unless, someone is physically sick, fasting and trying to get closer to the Lord, then it would appear to be wrong to withhold sex...If a partner is withholding sex then it seems that there is something wrong, and both the husband and wife should work together on figuring out what the problem is so that they can work it out.


Here is what scripture says on it and it sounds pretty straight forward to me:
1 Cor. 7

3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife. 5Do not deprive one another, except by mutual consent and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again, so that Satan will not tempt you through your lack of self-control.…
 

Gregoryp

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2019
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#19
seems an odd post, when the answer is in scripture. Getting this a lot in many different forums I attend online, not just christian ones either. Sex seems to be the theme every time, even when its a car forum!
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Florida
#20
Let's suppose you got married. I've got colors turned off on my computer and can't see your gender. But let's suppose your spouse would only sleep with you once per year even though you expressed a need for more than that. Considering the verse I quoted, do you think there is nothing sinful about that?
Gender is not color-coded anymore but the sex of a member can be ascertained by clicking on the profile unless they opted not to have their profile available for viewing. It's been like that since the format change. Wither it may be sinful or not would depend on the circumstances of the one that is refusing sex. This would be serious grounds for divorce. No one should have to stay in such a love-less marriage.