I think in many cases trauma is caused unintentionally, but sometimes I wonder if people do it intentionally and feel secretly happy/gloat about it? One of my friend's brother committed suicide, and her church told her that he went to hell. This caused her trauma for a long time; finally she had a dream where she saw her brother in Heaven and that gave her peace. Similarly, I have a friend who likes to remind me that nonbelievers go to hell (she did this shortly after a dear family member passed). I mean, I accept that is a view of Christianity. However, this friend reminded me of this THE SAME DAY my dear family member passed (when she called to comfort me)!
Life is the greatest gift God has given human beings. Whether we are rich or poor, strong or weak, sick or healthy, ashamed or proud, we have to go forward with our lives and we will find good and happy times worth living for. We have to pray to God and ask Him to give us the patience to do that and to wait for Him so that He would give us our blessings at the right time.
I think in the entire Bible, Judas Iscariot's suicide is well known and he does it because of the guilt he feels after betraying Jesus. And Jesus also prayed for him knowing he is going to be lost and will betray Jesus before it could happen.
"While I was with them, I kept them safe by the power of your name, the name you gave me. I protected them, and not one of them was lost, except the man who was bound to be lost--so that the scripture might come true." John 17:12.
So, those who know who Jesus is and knows everything about Him and has had faith in Him and goes and commits suicide betrays Jesus. Someone who loves and believes in Jesus will wait for Him to save them, no matter how hard it is. That is our call as Christians. That's what sets us apart from those who don't believe in God.
Although it is not for us as Christians to judge who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. That is entirely up to Jesus. We are called to help each other and love each other and support and build each other's faith and lives. None of us know for certain what happens after we die and how God judges us. No one can judge us body and soul except God.
When Jesus says,"Love your neighbour as yourself," He does not specify whether they are Christians, Muslims, etc. Just as Jesus loved the people around Him, we are called to follow His example without showing favouritism. Jesus gave the most impossible commandment which we are supposed to do as Christians. To love our enemies.
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your friends, hate your enemies.’ 44 But now I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may become the children of your Father in heaven. For he makes his sun to shine on bad and good people alike, and gives rain to those who do good and to those who do evil. 46 Why should God reward you if you love only the people who love you? Even the tax collectors do that! 47 And if you speak only to your friends, have you done anything out of the ordinary? Even the pagans do that! 48 You must be perfect—just as your Father in heaven is perfect. - Matthew Chapter 5:43-48
So the call to be a Christian is very hard. Alas, no one is perfect. So, we cannot go judging one another. That is not our call from God. We called to love each other as Jesus loved us and serve one another. That's the call of a Christian. End of the day, what I always remind myself is that everyone is flawed. Everyone is human. We are called to forgive those who sin against us. We are called to walk the narrow path. We are called to be merciful just as God is merciful towards us. We are called to forgive. All these are the gifts of the Holy Spirit. And if we as Christians lack these gifts, we have to pray and ask for these gifts. And we have to be aware that not every Christian is as close to God as they should be. In fact, most of us aren't for we are a work in progress.
To say it in simple layman's words, it's not our job to pass judgement on anyone. Although, we are called to be aware of what is right before our God and do right by Him so that we will save our lives both in this life and the life after this life. At least that's what I believe. What I feel is right. It need not be the be all and end all for anyone else.