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My husband and I are expecting our second child in about two weeks. My father in law is a very complicated individual who causes a lot of drama with the family. We already have a son, who will very soon be turning 3. We have recently had a little bit of a falling out with my FIL because of how he acts around and towards our son. He lies, makes promises he knows he can't or won't keep to him and although my son is very young, he is also very bright and understands whats going on and is hurt by how his grandfather is treating him.
We told him a few weeks ago that we felt like we were being taken advantage of, because when it comes to his other grandchildren he can easily get to there houses and come play with them... but he expects us to drive to his house everytime, or give him gas money, or let him come stay the night and cater to his every need if our son wants to see him. half the time when we do arrange to meet up with him, he will cancel last minute saying he has a migraine or some other excuse, but then will end up at the other kids houses later that day, with no problem. Now, I should clarify the fact that he doe not live that far from us. It is the same distance from our house to the other kids houses. We have tried our best to keep him involved in our kid's life, but he just seems to act like it's a great inconveince all the time.
Now, here is my real question I guess...
My FIL emailed my husband yesterday saying something to the effect of "i know she will be delivering soon... would you please let me know when she goes into labor so i can be there to see the chlid born."
First off, I am not going to be "going into labor" since we know for anatomical reasons that I have to have a c-section. Obviously, He would not be allowed to be in the room to see the child born.
This has been a very complicated pregnancy, and because of this fact we have asked all, but a very few, to wait and see us and the baby until we have come home.
I am having a very hard time right now trying to hold my tongue and be a "good wife" about how I truly feel about having him around at the hospital when I know I will be in such a position as I will be in.
Does this seem selfish of me? I mean, I want my children to have a relationship with my FIL, but I know that when he does come, he causes a lot of un-needed drama that I just don't know I will have the strength to deal with after surgery and such a long complicated pregnancy.
I have even considered letting him go ahead and come to the hospital but meeting my husband in the common nursery so that he won't have to come into my actual room. He will still get to see the baby, get to see my husband, but I won't have to be put in a position that I am going to be uncomfortable with....
Advice would be greatly appreciated....
We told him a few weeks ago that we felt like we were being taken advantage of, because when it comes to his other grandchildren he can easily get to there houses and come play with them... but he expects us to drive to his house everytime, or give him gas money, or let him come stay the night and cater to his every need if our son wants to see him. half the time when we do arrange to meet up with him, he will cancel last minute saying he has a migraine or some other excuse, but then will end up at the other kids houses later that day, with no problem. Now, I should clarify the fact that he doe not live that far from us. It is the same distance from our house to the other kids houses. We have tried our best to keep him involved in our kid's life, but he just seems to act like it's a great inconveince all the time.
Now, here is my real question I guess...
My FIL emailed my husband yesterday saying something to the effect of "i know she will be delivering soon... would you please let me know when she goes into labor so i can be there to see the chlid born."
First off, I am not going to be "going into labor" since we know for anatomical reasons that I have to have a c-section. Obviously, He would not be allowed to be in the room to see the child born.
This has been a very complicated pregnancy, and because of this fact we have asked all, but a very few, to wait and see us and the baby until we have come home.
I am having a very hard time right now trying to hold my tongue and be a "good wife" about how I truly feel about having him around at the hospital when I know I will be in such a position as I will be in.
Does this seem selfish of me? I mean, I want my children to have a relationship with my FIL, but I know that when he does come, he causes a lot of un-needed drama that I just don't know I will have the strength to deal with after surgery and such a long complicated pregnancy.
I have even considered letting him go ahead and come to the hospital but meeting my husband in the common nursery so that he won't have to come into my actual room. He will still get to see the baby, get to see my husband, but I won't have to be put in a position that I am going to be uncomfortable with....
Advice would be greatly appreciated....
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