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My husband has been unfaithful....twice.
Last August I caught my husband in an emotional affair. His grandfather (who raised him and was his only confidant) had just passed away a couple months before. We had been having problems and I was trying to take the necessarily steps to fix the issues on my side. He confided in me a few weeks earlier that he could not go on in our marriage if it stayed the same. That was an eye opener. I decided that I would do anything to keep my marriage together. Then I suspected something was wrong. He was secretive and possessive of his phone. After a couple weeks I confirmed it and confronted him. After I confronted him. He cut off all contact. We started counseling, but we able to start healing without the counseling. It actually helped our marriage. We started meeting each others needs that we had gotten wrong our whole marriage. Of course I was still hurting and we had to build trust back up.
Fast forward to March of this year. My husband and I were having a conversation about how I was feeling sad and upset over what had happened because I kept running into the woman he had the emotional affair with at the store and gas station. It was like I could not get away from her (we live in a small town). He told me he wanted to show me something. He showed me facebook messages between him and another woman (completely different woman). In those messages he was consoling her on breaking up with her boyfriend. He said to her that he felt an attraction to her and wanted to put it out there so that nothing would ever happen. That he had already been down that path and didn't want to hurt me. He said that most the time he was the problem. Well his intentions of making me feel better just made me feel inadequate. And to top it off we were looking to relocate and this woman was trying to find us land where she lived. We were seriously considering moving there. After I read that and cried a bit, I composed myself and asked 'Have you ever slept with anyone else since we've been married?' The question that turned my world upside down. His answer was yes. 7 years before I moved in with his family that lived in another state to help them with their health issues. He had a 1 night stand. He lied to me for 7 years. More recently he lied to my face when I directly asked about this after finding out about the emotional affair (which by the way only lasted about 2 weeks total.). He has been open since and talked to me when I wanted answered my questions when I asked, but the trust is completely gone. The answers are meaningless.
Now here I am a couple months later and I am ANGRY. VERY ANGRY. I an not the type of person to harbor emotions like anger, so this is very hard on me. I can't seem to find a way to get over the anger. I'm angry more often than not and I am trying so hard not to let it get the best of me. However it keeps slipping out in my tone towards my husband. Any advice on how to get past, through, or around this anger?????
Last August I caught my husband in an emotional affair. His grandfather (who raised him and was his only confidant) had just passed away a couple months before. We had been having problems and I was trying to take the necessarily steps to fix the issues on my side. He confided in me a few weeks earlier that he could not go on in our marriage if it stayed the same. That was an eye opener. I decided that I would do anything to keep my marriage together. Then I suspected something was wrong. He was secretive and possessive of his phone. After a couple weeks I confirmed it and confronted him. After I confronted him. He cut off all contact. We started counseling, but we able to start healing without the counseling. It actually helped our marriage. We started meeting each others needs that we had gotten wrong our whole marriage. Of course I was still hurting and we had to build trust back up.
Fast forward to March of this year. My husband and I were having a conversation about how I was feeling sad and upset over what had happened because I kept running into the woman he had the emotional affair with at the store and gas station. It was like I could not get away from her (we live in a small town). He told me he wanted to show me something. He showed me facebook messages between him and another woman (completely different woman). In those messages he was consoling her on breaking up with her boyfriend. He said to her that he felt an attraction to her and wanted to put it out there so that nothing would ever happen. That he had already been down that path and didn't want to hurt me. He said that most the time he was the problem. Well his intentions of making me feel better just made me feel inadequate. And to top it off we were looking to relocate and this woman was trying to find us land where she lived. We were seriously considering moving there. After I read that and cried a bit, I composed myself and asked 'Have you ever slept with anyone else since we've been married?' The question that turned my world upside down. His answer was yes. 7 years before I moved in with his family that lived in another state to help them with their health issues. He had a 1 night stand. He lied to me for 7 years. More recently he lied to my face when I directly asked about this after finding out about the emotional affair (which by the way only lasted about 2 weeks total.). He has been open since and talked to me when I wanted answered my questions when I asked, but the trust is completely gone. The answers are meaningless.
Now here I am a couple months later and I am ANGRY. VERY ANGRY. I an not the type of person to harbor emotions like anger, so this is very hard on me. I can't seem to find a way to get over the anger. I'm angry more often than not and I am trying so hard not to let it get the best of me. However it keeps slipping out in my tone towards my husband. Any advice on how to get past, through, or around this anger?????
