What should I do with my marriage?

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MashelleC

Guest
#21
#21
Touched! God is able to do exceedingly abundantly ABOVE all we could ask or think: thank you for sharing that: I truly believe in making a marriage work so I will be praying for you as well.
 
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MashelleC

Guest
#22
#22
Amen beautiful testimony! Thank u
 
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blondieindahouse

Banned
#23
Jun 23, 2015
1,990
37
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#23
Cindy12 said:
I have been married 23 years as well. It's my 2nd marriage. My first lasted 9 years, my ex cheated on me and became an alcoholic. I went into my 2nd marriage with 2 children. Big, big red flag going into it with 2 children with someone who had never had children. I went to church with my children for 22 years of this marriage alone without my husband. Not that he did not believe in God, but he did not practice his Christianity. I didn't let that stop me. We had a rough, rough first 10 - 15 years. We were not working together. Yep. It was up and down all the time. I continued to pray and asked for God to change him. Guess what I found out? I needed to stop asking God to change him and I began asking God to change ME. I asked him to make me a better wife. I asked him to allow me to focus on showing my husband nothing but love and kindness. I asked him to bless our marriage and to help us. Last year, my husband came to me one day and said that he wanted to start going to church with me, but not the church I was attending. (Catholic) ... We drove around and found a good, bible based Christian non-denominational church and went one Sunday morning and have been going since. Within one month, my husband grew a passion for God, went on a mission trip to Honduras and had an experience with God speaking to him while he was there. He came home, was baptized and has been a strong, practicing Christian man since that time. Our marriage improved more than I could have ever dreamed or wished. Our love for each other has been strengthened in ways I never knew it could. Sometimes, we have to change our entire philosophy on our marriage before we see Gods hand working. Once I stopped focusing on begging and hoping for my husband to change and started changing ME and the way I approached my husband and began to show him love and caring, it changed our marriage entirely. Today, I can say that this is the best marriage ever! I would never hope or desire for it to be anything more than what it is now, and I would not have said that 5 years ago. You can work on you and focus on you and it might help your marriage. Why not give it a try? You probably have blocked out the emotions and love you once had for your husband and you can get that back again. God is powerful. Ask God to change you! Ask him to make you be a better wife and to find ways to show that to your husband every single day! One day, your husband might just wish to be the same way you are! My husband was someone who was not going to go to counseling (thought we didnt need it) - probably the same as yours. But when I trusted in God and turned it all over to him and began asking God to help me work on me and changing me, I was amazed with what he did for our marriage. Don't look for a way out - look for a way to make things better - and you can only do that by starting with you. I also read the book the Power of a Praying Wife and that helped me a lot as well. I hope some of this advice helps! I will be praying for God to help you and your husband in your marriage.
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I really liked your response. It is steeped with lots of wisdom !
 
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KJ75

Guest
#24
#24
I agree with Cindy12. I also say check out the power of a praying woman to help work on yourself. I want to say that I am you three years ago. I kept saying I can make it until the kids are gone. I had stopped praying for my husband and had no love for him. He just never changed no matter what. What I failed to see was the bitter root inside me hindering my prayers for my husband. Last year I asked for a divorce as my kids are grown. Currently we are separated and guess what...divorce HURTS! I want him back and I want God to restore my marriage. Don't find yourself in my shoes. Do the work now before he leaves. God kept telling me not to leave and that I love my husband even though I couldn't see it. Well guess what, shocker, God was right. Now I wish I would have dug in three years, ten years ago and prayed from a pure heart for my husband. I am praying everyday that he will come home, but it is like working backwards. Do the work now. Sow the seeds to reap a good harvest. For the wages of sin are death and being angry to where a bitter root has grown is sin. I had to see that about myself and get that sin out of me. Guess what, I do love my husband just as God told me, I just couldn't see it from all the hurt and pain he had caused. Yes, my husband did a lot of things to hurt me, but that does not give me an excuse to sin against God. It's not sin against your husband for being angry, it's sin against God. I'm not coming down on you, I wish someone who have shaken me up a few years ago. Where I am hurts and all I can do is pray and trust God that my husband will come home and not divorce me.
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#25
Mar 19, 2011
13,199
1,183
113
#25
The Bible says infidelity is grounds for divorce so if you divorce him you are not going against the Word of God
 
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Cindy12

Senior Member
#26
Jan 5, 2015
243
11
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#26
KJ75 said:
I agree with Cindy12. I also say check out the power of a praying woman to help work on yourself. I want to say that I am you three years ago. I kept saying I can make it until the kids are gone. I had stopped praying for my husband and had no love for him. He just never changed no matter what. What I failed to see was the bitter root inside me hindering my prayers for my husband. Last year I asked for a divorce as my kids are grown. Currently we are separated and guess what...divorce HURTS! I want him back and I want God to restore my marriage. Don't find yourself in my shoes. Do the work now before he leaves. God kept telling me not to leave and that I love my husband even though I couldn't see it. Well guess what, shocker, God was right. Now I wish I would have dug in three years, ten years ago and prayed from a pure heart for my husband. I am praying everyday that he will come home, but it is like working backwards. Do the work now. Sow the seeds to reap a good harvest. For the wages of sin are death and being angry to where a bitter root has grown is sin. I had to see that about myself and get that sin out of me. Guess what, I do love my husband just as God told me, I just couldn't see it from all the hurt and pain he had caused. Yes, my husband did a lot of things to hurt me, but that does not give me an excuse to sin against God. It's not sin against your husband for being angry, it's sin against God. I'm not coming down on you, I wish someone who have shaken me up a few years ago. Where I am hurts and all I can do is pray and trust God that my husband will come home and not divorce me.
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I am praying for you, my friend. Dear Lord, please bring her husband back and grow their love more than ever! See that their hearts find a way to heal and keep divorce the furthest from his mind - in your name we pray, amen! You are so right, God knows what is best and he knows things that we don't know. He sees FAR beyond what we can see and maybe he leaves us in our circumstances because he knows that later, it will be better than ever. I know that God was working on me all the time I was thinking it was my husband who needed changing/work. Once I changed me, God opened up the floodgates for our marriage and it is better than ever. Don't give up, keep working. Tell your husband that you love him and that you appreciate all he is and was to you in the past. It's never too late to save a marriage!
 
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Cindy12

Senior Member
#27
Jan 5, 2015
243
11
18
#27
It might be grounds for divorce, but divorce isn't always the answer or the best result. Sometimes, people divorce and completely regret and then can never get back what they had and fix it. Just hope that people take their time and never rush into something when they are not sure/ready. God bless!
 
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