Okay - update time!
So, after the big blowout, the next day the kid was pretty good. He challenged me once in the afternoon, but I just looked at him and asked if he really thought it was a good idea to poke the bear. he said no and settled down. Later that evening he challenged my wife. As soon as she started to raise her voice, I asked him if he knew what would happen if he made her angry. He said yes and again settled down. About 5 minutes later he walked up to her, hugged her and said "I'm sorry I made you mad". Seeing that I called him over, gave him a big hug and a kiss on the forehead, and said thank you Austin that was very nice of you, I really appreciate your doing that. He sat quietly and watched a movie with us, then went to bed without a fuss. I went to tuck him in and said isn't it a lot nicer when we're not yelling at each other? And he agreed it was.
The next morning, as soon as he woke up he was back to his old tricks. We had a 5 hour drive to the hotel, and it wasn't long after we arrived that he gave my wife so much grief that she went outside and cried for an hour. The plan was that he was to spend the night at our house when we got home the next day. I called his dad and told him he was to be at the airport when we arrived to take his kid home instead.
This morning as we checked in for our flight he took off. It took us some time to find him. When we did my wife started to scold him, he looked at her and said, seriously, "yeah yeah yeah blah blah blah". The only reason I didn't smack his smart mouth was because there was a cop standing behind him. He continued and finally I told him, Austin, if you say one more word you're spending the night in the hospital and I'm going to spend the night in jail. He must have known I was serious because he settled down.
What really peeved me is when we landed, I found out that my wife had gone behind my back and told his father not to come get him. That led to a fight between us, and, long story short, she and the brat are spending the night at her moms.
I'm so tired of this. It's one thing to have to deal with the kid, but when I try to impose a consequence for his actions to benefit her and she stabs me in the back like this... What do I do? I'm tired of the anger and strife and disrespect and all I want to do is find some place to serve God in peace and harmony. And yet I try to do something to give my wife peace from it and she does this. She choses that brat kid and his grief over me. Maybe I should just go live in the new place by myself and let her suffer in CA. It seems to be what she wants because she spent considerable effort defending that kid and how he treats her. I just don't get it.
Dan you are right. Dad is the one who most needs paddling. Get this - one day he left the kid at grandmas for the day. When he showed up to pick him up, he tosses a handful of candy on the table and says "Austin here's your dinner". That's where the trouble really starts. There's a line from a movie (Father of The Bride I think) where a character says "you have to have a license to drive a car, you have to have a license to cut hair, you have to have a license to catch a fish - but any scum-sucking butthole can be a father".
Truer words are rarely said.
