Wife has no interest in me.

[Fenner]

To the original poster, I would seek marital counseling. It will deal with the issue at had and also help you with the anxiety. God Bless.

 

[Wallly]

Ok DUDE--When You grow up--maaaybe you should post on a problem like this-gluttonous?
Sex for a man is a natural part of us--and women--my wife is 50 and still VERY active sexually-learn a little from life before you give advice on it-at 21 you havent even fully matured yet-

Lol!
Right!

 

[Wallly]

Believe it or not bro sex with your spouse is actually another form of worship....so sex is pleasing to God. And actually scripture tells us that our bodies then belong to our spouses. There are plenty times I have to remind myself that I now have a Wife who I have to yield myself to now, no matter if its telling her where Im going or simply fulfilling her sexually....it's all apart of respecting my Wife and pleasing not just each other but God.

 

[Mammachickadee]

I thought woman reached the peak of sexuality in there 50's or so? Or is it the other way around?

Menopause does not usually happen anywhere near age 28.


My mom had my sis and I after thirty.

Such misconceptions about menopause are quite funny. I know many women who go through pre menopause and menopause in their 50's and 60's and still have the same sexual appetite they did when they were 30. Their bodies, however, sometimes have a different opinion and will not make allowance. To think that sexual desire disappears because of age is ludicrous. Go to an assisted living facility sometime. It's difficult to imagine, but a woman especially has the desire for sex for much longer than a man. I know men who are father's into their 60's. One man fathered his last child at 79.
If you have been open with your wife about desire, just don't pressure her. Seeking counsel would be good, but, like I had to do as a very young bride... pray and ask the Lord to fix YOU in the situation. Then find something to fill the time and keep your mind busy.

 

[steff]

Tinsley, Don't know if this will help but I'm a therapist and I'm a wife who feels similarly as you describe your wife. One of the problems I see is that my husband almost seems addicted to me. He can't seem to function as a Christian or as a healthy person unless he has my full attention and desire. It's a turn off. I'd so love for him to develop his own life and boundaries as an individual, to become an interesting strong man/ Christian leader, but instead he's 'at me' all the time--either threatening and manipulating, or complaining and predicting doom for our marriage unless I start desiring him more. Rough...

 

[isaria]

There is sexual counseling with educated professionals who specialise in sex and they may help you with exercises, talk, listening, solutions to problems and learning more about what the problem is.

Maybe you should dominate her and awaken her passion.
Take charge.
Unless she is strong in her no where it could be rape.

Agree.
Menapause should not be the problem.
I had a early menapause and have a strong sex drive.
More so than before even.
I just live celibate though.


Massage.
romantic weekend getaway.

Ask for help and talk with her about it.
Tell her to listen to you and then open up to how important this is and it is it is a big part of marriage and when a few times a year or bad sex and lack of affection.


I think the lack of affection and communication is even worse.
You want to get that kiss on cheek, play with your main, warm loving smile, holding hands, mutual understanding, cuddle...

Pray you will get the help to solve this and find out what the problem is and have her open up to you.
It is strange a woman not wanting sex.
Unless she does not feel good.
She could have emotions she is struggling with which makes her reject you.
As one flesh you could try feel her in.


If she is negelcting you and you are being tolerant good husband then that is not ok to treat you this way.
You need love and affection.
Stand up for your love rights.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

You're right, of course, about the cultural bias. I think what we're saying is that the potential for men to repair relationships in the home is high. I agree with Dan's post.

I just find it interesting that it almost always the husbands fault. Even when it isn't your own husband. Even when no evidence for it being the husband's fault as been presented.

 

[Cino]

I think you should remember an important fact. Women as they grow older biologically, generally stop taking interest in physical sexual activities. The women that still like sex are just consciously wanting it, but their bodies don't tell them that they want it.

There is menopause for women. Women are at the peak of sexual ability and ability to have child-birth at age 28. Eventually, they lose ability to procreate.

Men drop in sexuality with age, but they can reproduce and have sex all throughout their lifespan.

Sorry, I have to disagree with that. Most women do lose a bit of sexual interest during and after menopause, but not all. I am 61 years old, and I have a very active sexual appetite. It is my husband who has lost all interest about 16 years ago. I believe though that much of his lack of interest was due to some medication that he was taking. So here I am, married for many years, now 61 years old and have as much feeling for sex as I did when I was 21. It is not true what you said... that the women that still like sex are just consciously wanting it, but their bodies don't tell them that they want it. THAT IS NOT SO. My body is the one that tells me I want it, not just my brain ok? My body's hormones are still very high even though I have been through menopause. My doctor told me that my strong sexual feelings are from my high levels of hormones that I still have. It's not just in my head ok? It's in my body. So what about my husband who lost all sex drive in his 40s? I don't know if you are male or female, but your answer is just not correct, sorry.

 

[DadZilla]

I am sorry, you too should do some research before you reply as well. It is very hard on a person to be rejected physically. No matter what the age. I am so tired of the post on social web sites and chat rooms about "a good man will treat his woman like a queen" " if you want your woman to stay, treat her like it" Hey, news flash! It is a two way street.. I live in a similar situation.We have been together for 10 years,we have been married for 7 years this Oct.. Love my wife very much.. we have sex hmmmmmm 1 every 2 months. It has been like this for 3 years now. Its getting old... fast... i am patient. i try to be understanding.. I accepted her 2 other children, helped her raise them. We tried counseling, tried a dr, nurse practitioner, every time we talked about it. i was told to let it go, its not a big deal.. But when the counselor or doctor started directing it back towards her??? She did not want to talk about it any more.. It is VERY frustrating... i am shaking right now typing this... Some times it really feels like there is no where to turn.. I want to love my wife completely, i understand this guy, i completely understand his frustration.. Do i understand women? Nope, do i understand my wife? nope. Do i try, oh do i ever... I do try.. All the time.. when it comes to the physical part of our marriage.. It is a 100% change from before the last two children where born. Before them? whoooooo hot momma, i had to ask her to stop.. now?? well..