Well, I didn’t want to post this but why not. I made this song based on my experience of what I believed at the time was actual hell.
There is so much that led up to this moment in time, mostly unrepentance really.
I had no relationship with God and I was losing my mind.
I had my friends aunt pick me up from my aunts house, where my mother and little brother lived at the time. I had her drive me to the hospital because I could no longer eat and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I thought I was possessed by a demon.
I checked myself into the hospital. The aunt claimed I was a 51-50, which basically means insane.
In the waiting room, God entered my mind and told me I had to complete the Bible in order to go to heaven.
Before I laid on the hospital bed, I saw a guy having a heart attack, so I thought to myself; I guess that is what I’m going to have to force in order to get to heaven.
So I’m laying on the hospital bed and I started breathing really hard and deeply. I start hitting my head on the back of the bed and I’m trying to force a heart attack “so I can go to heaven.”
The doctors and nurses hold me down and strap me onto the bed and inject me with something. (Still don’t know till this day)
Apparently I was in a hospital room and I had conversations with my girlfriend at the time. (I was blacked out through all of this)
I wake up sitting in a chair, getting ready for breakfast.
I get up, eat breakfast. Then some people call me to a counter and they want me to take some pills.
I tell them “no,” and they start arguing with me. Then a nurse and a doctor grab onto me and trying and force the pills in my mouth.
I throw them to the ground.
Then I get tackled, put on a bed, strapped in and injected again.
Then, I’m not sure when but I wake up in a room on a red bed and all the other beds are blue and empty.
I get up and walk outside the room and talk to a male nurse behind a bullet proof glass window. He explains to me that I have to take my medication, yet sounds like a complete jerk.
I take it anyways and I thought to myself, “This is hell. I wanted to go to heaven.”
They end up transferring me to another room, next to a room with padded walls, where there was a woman in there screaming and hitting all the walls.
Apparently the next day, my dad calls the pay phone in the facility. A random insane person picks it up and hangs up the phone.
The day after that, my mom, my girlfriend at the time, my God father and my God brother come to visit but at the time, I believed Satan had his demons pretend to be my loved ones.
A few days later the hospital moved me to a safer facility on good behavior.
In that facility, was a big black woman who I think was a patient and she had me read the Bible.
Then I remember playing ping pong a few young asian women who were volunteering there.
Eventually, my God father and God brother came and had to lie, in order to take me out of there and take care of me.
Literally the next week I was back in college, taking only a painting class and dropped all my other classes.
I even got a job as a dog handler at a place called Wag’s n wiggles in Tustin a few weeks later, after my God father gave me my first vehicle, a blue 2000 Chevy Astro Van.
This was my final painting in that class.
It is a picture of my old friend Samara. She was starting her career as a heavy set model at the time and she gave me her mug shot to paint. I was honored and still have this painting hanging up in my room.
