So, I've got this problem.......

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My family and I have been attending contemporary worship services for almost 13 years. I did not grow up with this form of worship. When I first started going it was a bit of an adjustment, but I grew to love it. So much so, that I began leading worship in church. Over the last year, however, my heart is not in this style anymore. I feel God is pulling me back to my traditional roots. My wife, on the other hand, has no desire to do so. What should I do?


Account disabled by admin team
Sep 2, 2012
You don't say what denomination you are. Most Methodist churches in the US offer both styles. If you are Methodist, just find such a church and switch off services. There are a few other denominations who offer this as well, so shop around. Otherwise, either one of you has to give up what they want, you can't go to church together, you have to switch off churches every other week, or go to two churches together each Sunday.

Or a more modern solution is to start your own home church. Then everyone can pick the music.


I was raised Lutheran. She a Baptist. We currently go to a Non-Denom with laid back Baptist tendencies.


Senior Member
Aug 21, 2013
Not sure how tied down you are to your church. But many churches offer different styles of music for different services (example: first service will be traditional or blended and second service will be contemporary) or if they only have one service time, they may switch every other week. If you are in the position of leading worship, then you could recommend switching to a blended format where you sing some contemporary and some traditional. Either way, I would suggest getting out of that role if you find that you can't do it wholeheartedly or if you're soul isn't into it.


I would prefer mixed and a good mix. I went to a church where they got into a new style altogether so none of the congregation knew any of it and those that loved to sing were not invited to learn. That was needless to say the last time attending that church for me.
I like to sing and couldn't find the type of music in the backwoods of where I am and no way to search and order. Vanities upon vanities ;)


Senior Member
Feb 12, 2013
This argument of contemporary vs. traditional worship has been the bane of the church for the past couple of decades. And I think it's horrible that we split our congregations up over worship styles. I advocate for a blended worship service. There are few churches that do it well, but it CAN be done. I'm the worship leader at my little church, and we have blended worship. Today's is a bit more traditional than usual, but on a normal Sunday one would find a mixture of genres. Would your church be open to that? If not, then I think it's time to find a church that is.

But I'm with Nogard -- if your heart is not 100% into the worship, you should probably leave the worship team.


Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
i agree with those that suggest you step out of the role as worship leader if you can't put your whole heart behind it.

you say you feel God is leading you 'traditional' worship but your wife is against it - is worship to serve your wife or to serve God? this doesn't seem like a hard question to answer. I hate to think you would leave a church or a leadership position, or even start a new church of your own over something so trivial as choosing between singing 'the old rugged cross' or some hillsong melody. you might be surprised just how many in your congregation will respond to an old standard they actually know the words to, like 'just as i am.'
how about you just follow the Lord's prodding some sunday, sing both, and see if he doesn't bless it?