My Ways

Oh, why is this life so confusing at times?
Can sense be made out of the din?
I grope through the dimness of hurt and despair,
The tears fall again and again.

My feeble mind falters, "Can I truly trust?
Does God truly plan for my good?"
Oh, how can I cast on Him my every care
When I feel so misunderstood?

Then suddenly, out of the shadows I hear
A Voice, loving tender, and kind;
The words, like a balm to my suffering soul:
"My ways are far higher than thine."

This one I wrote during a really difficult time in my life several years ago, and it continues to be one I can relate to.

Oh, why is this life so confusing at times?
Can sense be made out of the din?
I grope through the dimness of hurt and despair,
The tears fall again and again.

My feeble mind falters, "Can I truly trust?
Does God truly plan for my good?"
Oh, how can I cast on Him my every care
When I feel so misunderstood?

Then suddenly, out of the shadows I hear
A Voice, loving tender, and kind;
The words, like a balm to my suffering soul:
"My ways are far higher than thine."

This one I wrote during a really difficult time in my life several years ago, and it continues to be one I can relate to.

I'm sorry that you've had to endure hurt and despair, but the alabaster box needs to be broken in order to release the ointment inside. Reading a poem such as this, I can see where your username came from. It's in times of suffering that we often realize that our only real hope is in him.

"Din" is a word that I rarely, if ever, see used nowadays. Are you a reader of poetry or ancient literature yourself?

That was a nice poem. Thanks for sharing it. Personally, I see beauty in brokenness, and I believe that God does too.

Thanks for your caring response. When I wrote this one I thought I was heartbroken, but had no idea what are lay ahead for me in life and the harder trials I would go through. Earlier this year I doubted God's love for me so much it almost led to a crisis in my faith. It took several emotional breakdowns and my mom telling me some hard truths for God to get thru to me... and the point where I am now I couldn't be but by His grace.
Well I don't know about ancient literature, not too much except the bible. Lately I've been reading more of the classics. But I have read quite a bit in general over the years; it does help with vocabulary to read a lot but I still feel pretty lacking in that area.

I think I told you part at least of the following already: For a very long time I have greatly enjoyed worshiping the God that loves me through hymns. 50 years ago i asked the question (after being a member of a church for 23+ years) does any of this make sense? The answer to that question took a while. I became interested in reading and understanding the scriptures. It became in a way i never knew previously. I also discovered in God’s worship was the presence of the God that I was worshiping, once in a while trembling greatly while worshiping (not lately). It was while worshiping Him, listening to streaming music recently that He told me that He loved me and I loved Him. So because of that experience i want to worship Him all the time i can. I have found how much He loves me and how precious i am to Him. Now nothing matters that much on Earth. He continues to love me to embrace me (through my spirit and mind). I look forward to being with Him face to face as soon as He lets me, i love Him very much, but His love is very overwhelming and He is so great and beautiful, so much more than I can offer Him. I fall far short in worship of what He truly deserves.

Thanks for your caring response. When I wrote this one I thought I was heartbroken, but had no idea what are lay ahead for me in life and the harder trials I would go through. Earlier this year I doubted God's love for me so much it almost led to a crisis in my faith. It took several emotional breakdowns and my mom telling me some hard truths for God to get thru to me... and the point where I am now I couldn't be but by His grace.

Well I don't know about ancient literature, not too much except the bible. Lately I've been reading more of the classics. But I have read quite a bit in general over the years; it does help with vocabulary to read a lot but I still feel pretty lacking in that area.

Just keeping writing from your heart, and you'll be fine.

I'm genuinely sorry that you had to endure all of that. If it's not too personal in nature, and if you'd feel comfortable sharing it, then I'd love to hear what those hard truths were that your Mom told you. I obviously don't know what you were like before all of those heartbreaks and trials, but I can definitely sense that you've come through them, by God's grace, as you said, as someone with a beautiful spirit.

I hope that this doesn't come out sounding wrong, but your posts inspire me and warm my heart. When all of the smoke clears, Jesus said that all of the law and the prophets can be summed up in two commandments:

1. Loving God.
2. Loving our neighbors as ourselves.

With the little bit that you've shared about yourself, I see both of these qualities in you. As Christians, we're likened to epistles which are known and read of men. Yours is a good read because it testifies of the love of Christ that is evident in you. Personally, it's always tales of love which draw me in. Like seoulsearch's story about visiting the prisoner in prison, and several things that you've shared about yourself.

Just keeping writing from your heart, and you'll be fine. Nothing speaks louder or more powerfully than that.

I'm genuinely sorry that you had to endure all of that. If it's not too personal in nature, and if you'd feel comfortable sharing it, then I'd love to hear what those hard truths were that your Mom told you. I obviously don't know what you were like before all of those heartbreaks and trials, but I can definitely sense that you've come through them, by God's grace, as you said, as someone with a beautiful spirit.

I hope that this doesn't come out sounding wrong, but your posts inspire me and warm my heart. When all of the smoke clears, Jesus said that all of the law and the prophets can be summed up in two commandments:

1. Loving God.
2. Loving our neighbors as ourselves.

With the little bit that you've shared about yourself, I see both of these qualities in you. As Christians, we're likened to epistles which are known and read of men. Yours is a good read because it testifies of the love of Christ that is evident in you. Personally, it's always tales of love which draw me in. Like seoulsearch's story about visiting the prisoner in prison, and several things that you've shared about yourself.

Just keeping writing from your heart, and you'll be fine. Nothing speaks louder or more powerfully than that.

That is a beautiful testimony. And now you can encourage others to love him the same way.

No I am glad you're encouraged by some things I have to say, and I really appreciate a lot of your posts too. I'm pretty open about some of the things that God has brought me through so I don't mind sharing some. But I know some people will feel like their hard times were worse than mine so I don't want to come across as whining and pitying myself.
Over 2 years ago I was in a relationship that lasted 10 months. I had some concerns from the beginning but was so excited I didn't take enough time to seek the Lord enough. We had a bit of a rocky courtship, but we were very much in love and got engaged summer 2021. But I could not find peace with moving forward and ended up breaking the engagement. It caused indescribable pain. That was a year and a half ago now and it's just in the last few months I've felt like I've been healing the most.
Then in March of this year my sister shocked us by leaving in the middle of the night with a guy. Praise the Lord she was safe but left a gaping, hurting hole in our family.
Things were piling up within me and I would have thoughts like, why is God putting me through so much? They say trials bring you closer to Him, but is all this worth it? And I had other thoughts that I know the enemy was dragging me down with. I shed many bitter tears.
I cried to my mom. And told her some of the dark thoughts I'd been having. Among other things she exhorted me to not focus on the temporal, warning me of the dangerous path my thoughts were leading me down. It woke me up, and it was kind of a turning point and I tried to do business with God.
Now, even tho the pain isn't all gone and I still struggle with discouragement, I know I can trust my heavenly Father, on matter what my present circumstances are. And just because things aren't going the way I want, doesn't mean He doesn't care. I know and can testify He does.

I'm glad that you think you see good things about me but I'm undeserving because I know my own faults so well... I'm sure many of us can say that. If there's anything good it's His work. And we're never done growing.

Thanks for sharing all of that. I really appreciate it, and I trust that God will use it to minister to others who may be going through similar situations. I won't ask why you couldn't find peace with moving forward, but you probably saved yourself even more heartache down the line by breaking the engagement. Even though you called that pain "indescribable", I know what you mean.

I get the whole sister moving out thing, too. I've always been very attached to people, and there's enough heartache and sense of loss when somebody just leaves the normal way, but to have someone just disappear suddenly must be much harder to bear. Like you said, praise the Lord that she's okay.

Why was God putting you through so much? Generally speaking, he takes us all through stages of death to ourselves. It's painful. There's no denying that. This may not seem like much of a consolation to you at the moment, seeing how the pain is still raw to some degree, but God does give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.

Isaiah 61:1
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

Isaiah 61:2
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

I trust that that will ultimately be your outcome, even if it seems unlikely or even impossible at the moment.

Your Mom's definitely right about not focusing on the temporal. I think that I mentioned this in one of my other posts, but I pretty regularly read the book of Ecclesiastes to remind myself of the vanity of this life. Ultimately, death will come, except to those Christians who are still alive at Christ's coming, and we need to live with that reality before us at all times while maintaining an eternal perspective or outlook. I'm not saying that it's easy to do, especially in a world which constantly bombards us with the pleasures of sin for a season, but it is possible with the help of God's Spirit. Just know that you're not alone, and that you have other brothers and sisters who are going through similar trials.

If I could offer a piece of advice to you of my own, and it's a piece of advice that I've offered to myself many times and heeded, then it would be to periodically step back and look how your life is positively affecting others. Again, with just the little bit that you've shared about yourself here, it's beyond apparent to me that you've been a blessing to others. Gaining a better realization of this yourself may do wonders in regard to overcoming your discouragement. I don't know if you ever watch movies or not, but I'm going to provide you with a link to a movie called "Second Glance". It's basically the Christian equivalent of "It's a Wonderful Life". If you choose to watch it, then i trust that God will show you what a blessing you truly are to others.

https://tubitv.com/movies/465476/second-glance?start=true

You might be required to register there, but that only requires an active email address. I've used this site for years, and I've never encountered any sort of problems there.

Anyway, I will pray for you for God's continued comfort and guidance. Again, thanks for sharing what you did.

God bless you.

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Thanks for sharing all of that. I really appreciate it, and I trust that God will use it to minister to others who may be going through similar situations. I won't ask why you couldn't find peace with moving forward, but you probably saved yourself even more heartache down the line by breaking the engagement. Even though you called that pain "indescribable", I know what you mean.

I get the whole sister moving out thing, too. I've always been very attached to people, and there's enough heartache and sense of loss when somebody just leaves the normal way, but to have someone just disappear suddenly must be much harder to bear. Like you said, praise the Lord that she's okay.

Why was God putting you through so much? Generally speaking, he takes us all through stages of death to ourselves. It's painful. There's no denying that. This may not seem like much of a consolation to you at the moment, seeing how the pain is still raw to some degree, but God does give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.

Isaiah 61:1
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

Isaiah 61:2
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

I trust that that will ultimately be your outcome, even if it seems unlikely or even impossible at the moment.

Your Mom's definitely right about not focusing on the temporal. I think that I mentioned this in one of my other posts, but I pretty regularly read the book of Ecclesiastes to remind myself of the vanity of this life. Ultimately, death will come, except to those Christians who are still alive at Christ's coming, and we need to live with that reality before us at all times while maintaining an eternal perspective or outlook. I'm not saying that it's easy to do, especially in a world which constantly bombards us with the pleasures of sin for a season, but it is possible with the help of God's Spirit. Just know that you're not alone, and that you have other brothers and sisters who are going through similar trials.

If I could offer a piece of advice to you of my own, and it's a piece of advice that I've offered to myself many times and heeded, then it would be to periodically step back and look how your life is positively affecting others. Again, with just the little bit that you've shared about yourself here, it's beyond apparent to me that you've been a blessing to others. Gaining a better realization of this yourself may do wonders in regard to overcoming your discouragement. I don't know if you ever watch movies or not, but I'm going to provide you with a link to a movie called "Second Glance". It's basically the Christian equivalent of "It's a Wonderful Life". If you choose to watch it, then i trust that God will show you what a blessing you truly are to others.

https://tubitv.com/movies/465476/second-glance?start=true

You might be required to register there, but that only requires an active email address. I've used this site for years, and I've never encountered any sort of problems there.

Anyway, I will pray for you for God's continued comfort and guidance. Again, thanks for sharing what you did.

God bless you.

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A primary reason that i write poems, or other things, even though what i say is very personally is revealing of my relationship to Him, there is a need in me for my brothers and sisters to love Him very much too.

I cant give them that love for Him or make them know how much He loves them. He is a romantic lover, full of surprises and joys. His heart burns out of love for me and us. I hope all are moved to seek and find great passion in the love of Him. Great pleasure in His love and presence awaits!

If i can love Him more, tell me how to do it!