Memories in a whirl
The earth trembling at my sight
Leaves falling in a twirl
Every step I bring hate to flight
Fear jump through my nostrils
Anger build in my mind
Cannot escape the thrills
Cannot leave the emptiness behind
Faith brings me closer
Hope is but a burden
Love from her is gone
Used up, gone
I tremble at my own hated sight
I tremble at my thoughts so entangled in desire
I have to fight
I have to win
She is gone, my heart broken, my breath not spoken
She is gone and no way to get her back
She is gone and my hope of peace leaves with her
She is gone and my life ... is ... lost
Every day I step up to the hurt and pain
Every day I miss the very memories of her
Every day I hope for grace
Grace to one day see her again
I don't deserve her
I never did
I often hoped
But never dared
Our marriage was a gift of forgiveness
A time of hope that I might find peace
Her death, was me failing the test
At first I didn't see, but now its all I see
God is just
God is fair
God is righteous
God is true and ultimate love
All I have is the hope of seeing her as a friend one day
No marriage goes to heaven, we start anew
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do
I am alone
Ripped from my being is her soul
One day I'll find peace
One day I will hope again
One day there will be no understanding
Fear in my heart dwells on the evil that destroyed me
I played to close to the edge in my youth
Did not listen to the warnings against lust
I experienced love for a brief moment
A moment just brief enough so I could know what I would miss
Then it was taken, gone. No more. The air is empty.
There is no dream. There is no thrill for living. There is no ambition.
There is only emptiness. Emptiness without hope.
And still I see them play. Still I see those that oppose the commandments of God.
Still I see the mockery in themselves. You do not know pain. But you will.
If I'm on earth, and see and feel this emptiness, how much more those in hell.
But those of us who know, we are not believed...never until its too late.
And when the love meant for you is taken, you can't do nothing about it.
There is but one hope. One dream. One conviction. To reach God.
Nothing else matters. Not man. Not the way people see you. Not even your job.
Not your luxury living. Not your friends and family. Everything becomes more and more empty.
You react. Not act. Going through the motions and repeating everything but there is nothing more.
There is no more peace. There is only suffering. Every breath is suffering. You thrive to live for God.
You thrive...because that is all that is left. All that is worthwhile. No more future. No more dreams.
It has been ripped. Tomorrow is empty already, for you are alone.
And the true love which you long for, you will never again have.
For not even after death will you be one again. You are alone. Forever and eternity.
All you hope for, all you dream that is left, that you may be found useful by the Creator.
Not to love again. But to be a willing tool in His hand. Pure and Clean.
And in your own pureness you have no faith. You have no ambition. You only have truth.
You hope and beg for the GRACE and mercy of God. To merely survive. Faith has become survival.
It is not joy. It is freedom. Free from hell. Free from evil. Free from that which destroyed you.
And in that, there is joy. In that there is finally peace. And in that lies hope.
So what about love? ... I don't know anymore. For now, I merely hope for grace. In if God's grace
would include love. Then there will always be joy. My past is my past. I draw a line in the sand. As I've tried
many times before. Tomorrow is just another day...closer, I hope. I dream.
The earth trembling at my sight
Leaves falling in a twirl
Every step I bring hate to flight
Fear jump through my nostrils
Anger build in my mind
Cannot escape the thrills
Cannot leave the emptiness behind
Faith brings me closer
Hope is but a burden
Love from her is gone
Used up, gone
I tremble at my own hated sight
I tremble at my thoughts so entangled in desire
I have to fight
I have to win
She is gone, my heart broken, my breath not spoken
She is gone and no way to get her back
She is gone and my hope of peace leaves with her
She is gone and my life ... is ... lost
Every day I step up to the hurt and pain
Every day I miss the very memories of her
Every day I hope for grace
Grace to one day see her again
I don't deserve her
I never did
I often hoped
But never dared
Our marriage was a gift of forgiveness
A time of hope that I might find peace
Her death, was me failing the test
At first I didn't see, but now its all I see
God is just
God is fair
God is righteous
God is true and ultimate love
All I have is the hope of seeing her as a friend one day
No marriage goes to heaven, we start anew
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do
I am alone
Ripped from my being is her soul
One day I'll find peace
One day I will hope again
One day there will be no understanding
Fear in my heart dwells on the evil that destroyed me
I played to close to the edge in my youth
Did not listen to the warnings against lust
I experienced love for a brief moment
A moment just brief enough so I could know what I would miss
Then it was taken, gone. No more. The air is empty.
There is no dream. There is no thrill for living. There is no ambition.
There is only emptiness. Emptiness without hope.
And still I see them play. Still I see those that oppose the commandments of God.
Still I see the mockery in themselves. You do not know pain. But you will.
If I'm on earth, and see and feel this emptiness, how much more those in hell.
But those of us who know, we are not believed...never until its too late.
And when the love meant for you is taken, you can't do nothing about it.
There is but one hope. One dream. One conviction. To reach God.
Nothing else matters. Not man. Not the way people see you. Not even your job.
Not your luxury living. Not your friends and family. Everything becomes more and more empty.
You react. Not act. Going through the motions and repeating everything but there is nothing more.
There is no more peace. There is only suffering. Every breath is suffering. You thrive to live for God.
You thrive...because that is all that is left. All that is worthwhile. No more future. No more dreams.
It has been ripped. Tomorrow is empty already, for you are alone.
And the true love which you long for, you will never again have.
For not even after death will you be one again. You are alone. Forever and eternity.
All you hope for, all you dream that is left, that you may be found useful by the Creator.
Not to love again. But to be a willing tool in His hand. Pure and Clean.
And in your own pureness you have no faith. You have no ambition. You only have truth.
You hope and beg for the GRACE and mercy of God. To merely survive. Faith has become survival.
It is not joy. It is freedom. Free from hell. Free from evil. Free from that which destroyed you.
And in that, there is joy. In that there is finally peace. And in that lies hope.
So what about love? ... I don't know anymore. For now, I merely hope for grace. In if God's grace
would include love. Then there will always be joy. My past is my past. I draw a line in the sand. As I've tried
many times before. Tomorrow is just another day...closer, I hope. I dream.