I recently met this girl and she is completely amazing. She gives me the drive to be a better man and Christian. We encourage each other, hold each other accountable, we are patient and devoted to the Lord. She is beautiful and funny and smart; she checks off everything I want in a woman. Everything's perfect... Except that I'm ready to be in an actual relationship with her and she's not. We hang out a lot, partially because we want to and the other reason is we have the same friend group and she works at the coffee shop I go to every morning. I'm so ready to start making this "real" but she frels
like it's not the right time and it's starting to take an emotional toll on me. I need patience and understanding in my life ASAP
becuase I definitley feel the enemy trying to make things so much harder and painful. What do I do?
How recently is recently? How often is hanging out a lot? These definitions can vary greatly between people, and it's possible that she doesn't feel as close to you or like your interactions are as significant as you do. Please consider that you might be in that good-sense compromising state known as infatuation where you are not able to see thinks as accurately and realistically as you think you do. If you can't identify a single problem or challenge that you would face in a relationship with this woman, then you are probably crushing on an idealized version of her not on who she actually is.
As to the question of what you should do, well the thing God has consistently told me when I've had crushes and started trying to process them through prayer is "if you're going to claim to love this person, then love them well" and that means seeking God's best for the person and their good regardless of what it costs you. And yes that is a path that is usually more acutely difficult and painful, but also usually results in fewer long term regrets.
So if you haven't already had an honest conversation with her about how you feel, you should consider that. Also if she is really as wonderful as you say, prove it to her by truly listening to her side of things and believing that she knows more about what she wants, needs, is ready for, than you do. Assuming no relationship is going to happen immediately, you might want to consider limiting your contact with her just so you don't keep torturing yourself. That does not mean run away and avoid ever being around her, but simple changes like finding a different coffee shop might go a long way to helping you feel like she's not such a constant part of your life and help make the emotions more manageable for a time. Conversely, if she's really much more acquaintance than close friend, I've found that getting to know acquaintances that I have a crush on better usually eliminates the crush because I start to see their flaws and things I don't like or would have difficulty being around constantly.
