Singleness, Blessing or Curse?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Sirk

Banned
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#21
Being single really sucks. Doing what you want when you want with who you want is such a terrible burden to bear. I wish I was like my friends who are not single and have to check in and explain themselves and risk judgement for their choices. Maybe someday I too will get live the joy that being married brings again.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,926
8,175
113
#22
Hmm... Sirk I didn't know you were once married. I get the impression it didn't turn out too well.

Personally I don't have any aversion to getting married. But I don't have any predilection toward it either. I'm willing, but I ain't out looking.
 

Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
1,583
128
63
#23
Being single really sucks. Doing what you want when you want with who you want is such a terrible burden to bear. I wish I was like my friends who are not single and have to check in and explain themselves and risk judgement for their choices. Maybe someday I too will get live the joy that being married brings again.
Sirk, I tried to give you rep points on this one but its being stubborn..... Just know that you earned it!! lol :D
 
Mar 3, 2016
84
0
0
#24
Hi,

different backgrounds different countrys and a mix of people from all round the world bring with them different customs and idears and belive,s so regardless of all that I don't find being single makes any thing different,

I have a life and get on with it I'm not hounded or shuned in fact I can do lots more and be on call and up and go can others say that as well with a partner and unless you are both interested in the same things it would cause upsets and more issue,s , could I be as involved as much with our groups unless my partner was as
passionat as I am , it would not work so well ,

Coby, I can see it now I,d be there in your small house playing my Altoium and poor wabbits wuning away and paws over their wittle ear,s and the two kids with earmuffs on ,and,
and you trying to put a pillow on the Altoium ,,,,,He He ......

oh , dear,e me ....

...noeleena...
 
Apr 22, 2016
1,218
12
0
#25
The terms, that is the Greek terms, and there are four or five Greek words that could be translated "curse," all have basically the same meaning and it's very clear what they mean. They mean something that is despised, something that is devoted to destruction, something that is doomed. That's what it means to be cursed. To be cursed by God means that you are set for doom or destruction. The Hebrew terms in the Old Testament where you find the word "cursed" — alah, meerah, qelalah - those Hebrew terms all mean the very same thing, devoted to doom, devoted to destruction.


You arent cursed! You are just very immature in your faith.
You need to learn that Gods ways are not yours and his timing is not yours either.
There are blessings within your singleness. Unless you submit fully to your singleness and learn to be content with your life now; you will never see the blessings that God is bestowing upon you. He has most likely protected you from something you are not even aware of because you are focusing on your flesh.
Dont say you have faith if you cant live it out. Dont say you trust God when you clearly dont!

It is a curse to be married to a woman who will make your life a living he**. Be thankful you have been protected from a disaster!! If you were in that position,you would be thinking on that being single actually isnt all that bad:)

Give thanks! Be grateful! Focus on these things. Phil 4:8

Just sayin.....................
 
Apr 22, 2016
1,218
12
0
#26
MsSuzanna: Please consider the country in which the OP lives. Some cultures place a heavy emphasis on getting married.



Fromdomlove: There is nothing in the Bible that says you have to get married. And (speaking for myself) being single rocks! If I happen to find a girl that I want to marry then YAY! But until then I'm having fun being single.

Regardless of what anyone around you tells you, you should enjoy life and not get stuck on the one thing you don't have that everyone says you need. If you do get married, you get married. But if you don't, you shouldn't let your whole life pass by unused because you were waiting for that one thing.
I place emphasis on Gods directions. God will see people through in his time and his way. Period. We arent in this world but we only of it
The word reads the same no matter what country we live in!
 
T

ToBeWithHim

Guest
#27
Definitely one of the biggest curse decend upon me from God, I felt being punished by God for my son, and this is His way to judge me for my sin. If singlness is what You have in store for me, then please just kindly kill me. Because it's impossible for me to be content with singleness. Just typing that word feels dirty to me.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#29
I place emphasis on Gods directions. God will see people through in his time and his way. Period. We arent in this world but we only of it
The word reads the same no matter what country we live in!
As someone who spent the last 3 years ministering cross culturally, this is simply not true. Or rather the interpretations of the same actions and stories in the word can vary greatly (as well as what parts of the word we focus on and consider important). Great example would be Thai Buddhists and the story of the miraculous catch of fish and Peter afterwards says to Jesus, "Leave me, I'm a sinful man." Every Thai knows that Peter's saying that because Jesus just caused him to sin greatly by harming all those fish he caught. That changes Jesus' position and role in the story ever so slightly.

There's also a wonderful, godly Indian couple my family knows that ministers in Africa. And a few years ago they told my parents that they're really praying for God to bring a husband for me because they want me to be able to be in full obedience to God and the Bible makes it very clear that all Christians should be married. Needless to say I disagree with the must be married bit, but they are very convinced that that is a Biblical view and there are certainly a lot of scriptures that support marriage.
 
Apr 22, 2016
1,218
12
0
#30
As someone who spent the last 3 years ministering cross culturally, this is simply not true. Or rather the interpretations of the same actions and stories in the word can vary greatly (as well as what parts of the word we focus on and consider important). Great example would be Thai Buddhists and the story of the miraculous catch of fish and Peter afterwards says to Jesus, "Leave me, I'm a sinful man." Every Thai knows that Peter's saying that because Jesus just caused him to sin greatly by harming all those fish he caught. That changes Jesus' position and role in the story ever so slightly.

There's also a wonderful, godly Indian couple my family knows that ministers in Africa. And a few years ago they told my parents that they're really praying for God to bring a husband for me because they want me to be able to be in full obedience to God and the Bible makes it very clear that all Christians should be married. Needless to say I disagree with the must be married bit, but they are very convinced that that is a Biblical view and there are certainly a lot of scriptures that support marriage.
Im not sure where you dont agree. LOL
In the first place,I dont see where buddhists would live according to the Living Word. They dont so ..............:confused:

There are certainly scripture that support marriage. I did not say that there wasnt.
But thats not say that God ordains everyone to marriage.

I was responding to cultural differences within the church.
We are of ONE ACCORD. ONE SPIRIT that teaches and guides the same.

Im not exactl
 
C

coby2

Guest
#31
It's sometimes hard to have to play the dad bleh but a man doesn't care and is only an extra burden.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#32
It's sometimes hard to have to play the dad bleh but a man doesn't care and is only an extra burden.
Fire!

FIRE!!!

Somebody sound the alarm.

Somebody be startin' somethin' in here!!! :D
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#33
Im not sure where you dont agree. LOL
In the first place,I dont see where buddhists would live according to the Living Word. They dont so ..............:confused:

There are certainly scripture that support marriage. I did not say that there wasnt.
But thats not say that God ordains everyone to marriage.

I was responding to cultural differences within the church.
We are of ONE ACCORD. ONE SPIRIT that teaches and guides the same.

Im not exactl
My examples seem to have gone awry so to explain. Thai culture in general is heavily influenced by Buddhism, many Thai believers would have a Buddhist background and if you were to go to a Thai church (and be able to understand it) their Thainess and the surrounding culture would influence the topics that they preached about and what they considered important or essential to the Christian faith. It doesn't make them less Christian or their interpretation of the Bible inferior to ours.

Similarly with the Indian couple, you and I will agree that marriage is not required of every believer, but coming from a culture where identity is centered in the group and marriage is expected, the idea of just me and God seems quite rebellious (and the lack of accountability in many Western churches and families may show that they aren't entirely in the wrong).

The point is that our culture influences how we see and interpret everything else, including the Bible. And let's not forget that the events in the Bible also happened in a particular cultural context, not as some theoretical absolute ideal of how things should always be done in an ideal world. Therefore even when giving Biblical counsel taking into account the potential cultural differences is huge and essential. I'll agree that God's truth doesn't change, but how it should be applied does (and that's all the more I want to derail this thread).
 

peacenik

Senior Member
May 11, 2016
3,071
26
38
#35
MsSuzanna: Please consider the country in which the OP lives. Some cultures place a heavy emphasis on getting married.



Fromdomlove: There is nothing in the Bible that says you have to get married. And (speaking for myself) being single rocks! If I happen to find a girl that I want to marry then YAY! But until then I'm having fun being single.

Regardless of what anyone around you tells you, you should enjoy life and not get stuck on the one thing you don't have that everyone says you need. If you do get married, you get married. But if you don't, you shouldn't let your whole life pass by unused because you were waiting for that one thing.



This is often overlooked in our society.

Speaking as a Hispanic single male, I have been made to feel uncomfortable in the past from other Hispanics (and from the general community) who so strongly frown upon bachelorhood. This prejudice impacted upon my mother as well as she was frequently asked, 'when is your son going to get married?' Poor thing - she had to make up every excuse imaginable to explain why I was still single. Actually, as I told her, women just took no interest in me and there was nothing I could do to attract them (I was over educated, made too little money, and never got God's grace as is required in all things). For Hispanics singleness is still frowned upon and assimilation into the mainstream USA doesn't help all that much.


But this example is hardly unique. Here in the Twin Cities, radical Muslims have used this area as their principle area for recruitment. This because the government sent in many East African Muslim refugees into this area. But the recruitment has now stopped. You may wonder why. If interested you may google Abdisalam Adam who is a Imam in the Muslim community. Years ago, he was asked how do radical Muslims recruit so readily here. His reply would amaze you. First, he appointed the finger at himself and to the greater Muslim community by saying all have erred by giving single men second or third class citizenship within the community. Most of you believe that it is women who are oppressed in Islam but ignore the fact that women are the biggest converts to that religion in Europe and in the USA. Thus, contrary to the stereotype it is single men who are most oppressed, not women. The Imam recognized that. He resolved that single men were to be treated equally as being just as significant a part of the family as every one else.

Fast forward many months later. Imam Adam was again interviewed and asked, 'how did you do it?' How did you manage to remove radical Muslims from this area? His reply was a simple: he and the orthodox Muslim community now treat single men with the same respect and love as they do to all others. In my neighborhood we have many such East Africans. I have personally seen elders, school teachers, and parents openly embrace young men and treated them with the same love and attention that they have given young women all these years. Now they feel like they are an essential part of the community and no longer subject to inducements from radical Islamists who have lost their recruitment base. Thanks to the wise efforts of Imam Adam, this has become a safe place for Muslims and all who fear the radical wing of that religion.


This is a lesson for all religions. Take a look at the recruitment base from cults such as street gangs, white supremacists, Moonies, suicide cults. That base is invariably single men. The reason being because, contrary to what so many believe, it is single men who are the most vulnerable demographic in society. That may not be a popular or politically correct thing to say but it is the truth. And how often do you find single men in churches? Not very often. In fact churches more often than not are bachelor free zones. Churches have plenty of support groups for women of all kinds, for children, for fathers. But how often do you see support groups for single men? Ironically, Jesus recruited more often among single men but the churches who claim to love him fail to follow his example.


I suggest that society needs to do the same as did Imam Adam - embrace single men just as you do with all other social demographics. Once done, we will see an end to radical hate mongers, drug gangs, suicide cults, and other sickos in this society. It will be a better place to live for everyone.