Beautiful thing to see a person humble and expose their feelings. Very brave of you Tess. Thank you.
I believe we were originally created to be in perfect, loving, fellowship with God.
Then the dang fall happened! Now we live our lives in these dead, utterly sinful, smelly, fallen bodies. Even those of us that have been reborn in Christ still groan with the fact that we were not designed to have to deal with loneliness, pain, heartache, guilt, stress, death, and every other facet of a fallen world.
That's why I adore those precious moments when I can feel the Lord's presence, which renews my Spirit to glorify Him and do the ONLY lasting thing that has any real meaning, which is allow myself to be used by Him to bring others to Christ so that we may one day be permanently restored to His Presence and fellowship with Him.
In the meantime we should focus our efforts on loving each other, and bringing the Gospel to everyone in that love.
May God's peace and joy reside in you!