A little tip about the friend zone

[AAAPlus]

How many of you guys consider yourselves to have ever been stuck in the friend zone with a girl?

Well it's about time you were made aware that the friend zone is not even a thing.

The friend zone is a place where nice guys end up. They are super nice to a girl whom they are friends with, but there is no possible way she will be romantically interested in you.

When/if you finally end up asking her on a date, she turns you down. You literally let her walk all over you, and you end up feeling used by her.

What we call the friend zone is just a matter of intentions. A guy who considers himself to be in the friend zone started his friendship relationship with the girl with the sole intention of escalating the friendship to a romantic relationship. This shows in your interactions with the girl. She sees you being nice to her and subliminally, she knows the reason isn't just because you're a nice guy. Well...

There is an obvious difference in your interactions; a friend zone guy is constantly nice to her, and a genuine friend, who isn't as invested in the friendship, isn't too nice or too mean. They just treat her like a regular person. Someone who isn't special. Logically this doesn't make sense, but consider this: a woman has a biological, God-given desire to want her man to be strong for her. Even the most independent lady will respect and appreciate a strong, confident man. That means her man needs to protect her. When you're being super nice to her, that gives off the vibe that you need her, which is the opposite of what she needs. She wants to be wanted, not needed.

So how do you get out of the friend zone?

Well, you're already her friend, so you're miles ahead of anyone else. The answer is simple; just stop. Stop whining. Stop trying to impress her. Stop being there for her all the time, and treat her like an actual human being. Don't worship her or dwell on her, and realize that losing her isn't the worst thing in the world.

Just. Be. Her. Friend. No strings attached. Don't think about having a romantic relationship with her. It's not easy giving up a romantic interest. Pray. Read your Bible more. Make yourself into someone you'd want to be with; not just for her, but for you.

And if you don't end up with her, at least you still have your dignity.

 

[Nautilus]

lol people getting friendzoned

 

[Stuey]

I think I'd have to ask the girls here but I tend to disagree with most of this friendzone thing...

Relationships, particularly marriage is meant to be about service, rather than ruling over. You can lead by serving and lead by being the nice guy. If you want to show your capacity to lead I think pointing her to Jesus would make her swoon more than anything.... *shrug*

I don't feel like I've ever been put there for someone who I've been interested in - aka - if I've been turned down there have been good and legitimate reasons and not because I'm in this weird friendzone place.

 

[jamieedmonds10]

Quite a bit. LOL!

 

[zeroturbulence]

Ok, the reasons women put guys in their friend zone is because they don't measure up to what the woman is looking for in a mate. I'm not talking about money or education or things like that.

Here are what I think are the top reasons why women put guys in their friend zone:

1. She doesn't find him physically attractive

2. He is too nice, too sweet, too agreeable with everything she says

3. He lacks an air of confidence - he seems nervous or afraid to talk to her

4. He lacks humility - he's TOO confident. Oh wait...these guys don't even make it to the friend zone! Nevermind.

5. He's too clingy

6. He's too emo

Guys often wonder why women fall for bad guys. Its because those guys aren't clingy and nice and trying to be the woman's friend. Women know what they want and it is not a guy who is emotionally codependent!


Oh boy I think am going to regret this post. I know it! lol [slowly backs away from the thread....]

 

[Liamson]

The friendzone thing I think works both ways too. I've told a few women recently-ish that I can't envision a way that I would fall for them <or something to that effect) Can we just be friends? And it seems to work okay, until they have lost all hope and they unplug from the friendship.

I'm kind of an on or off sort of person. I don't really like being inbetween or undecided. If I see something I want and have the capacity to go after it, I don't really hesitate or file for reservations.


Now.... I have been in relationships where being tactful and patient was respectful and proper course of action but, when the curtains opened, it was obvious why I wasn't launching arrows with love notes attached.

 

[Jullianna]

I think it works both ways too and, while I'm not sure we could ever pin it down to a certain number of things, I would have to agree with about 85% (thanks for letting me borrow one of your percentage signs, JimJimmers) of what Gabe said.

You try to get to know someone. You become friends. It either progresses from there or it doesn't, but I don't know that this necessarily means there is a deficiency of some sort re: one party or the other. Sometimes people simply aren't compatible. Sometimes...the guy never gets up the nerve to let you know that's what he had in mind, but gets upset with you because you don't have ESP. Sometimes there are outside interferences.

 

[Snackersmom]

^^^^Yes, THAT. Most relationships worth having start out as friendships, but they don't progress if neither party tells the other that they want to be more than "just friends". GENERALLY, it's the guy's job to do this, but I suppose the lady COULD......it might seem sort of weird and presumptuous, though.

Don't rush things, but, at some point........ya just gotta speak up!

 

[kayem77]

I don't like being the one who sends guys to the so dreaded friendzone so I try to figure out the motives of a friendship with the opposite sex ASAP. It's not like I ask the guy '' why are you being friendly?'' but one can notice when one is just being toooooooo nice to be just a friend. My strategy is 1.go with the flow if I like the guy or 2. Try to cut it out before someone's feelings are hurt(and try to be humble and considerate to his feelings).

I used to think a guy and a girl could be really close friends without ever having feelings involved but...I think I've changed my mind. At least this is how I feel personally.I have guy friends but not really really close friendships with guys because if I find a guy with whom I can talk transparently and naturally I would feel attracted to him...maybe. So to avoid friendzoning people I think keeping your distance would be great advice

 

[zeroturbulence]

I think women are getting the "friend zone" confused with the "I didn't think you liked me that way zone."

The difference is that the ones in the friend zone never even had a chance whether they like you that way or not.
In other words, the friend zone is where the ones you were never attracted to are.

 

[lil_christian]

I think women are getting the "friend zone" confused with the "I didn't think you liked me that way zone."

The difference is that the ones in the friend zone never even had a chance whether they like you that way or not.
In other words, the friend zone is where the ones you were never attracted to are.

there's more than one zone??

 

[1still_waters]

Why is the friend zone getting so much hate?

You all do realize there is less drama, less pressure, less complications, there. Right?

 

[Jullianna]

At this moment in my life, it's where I'm most comfortable.

 

[Jullianna]

I think women are getting the "friend zone" confused with the "I didn't think you liked me that way zone."

The difference is that the ones in the friend zone never even had a chance whether they like you that way or not.
In other words, the friend zone is where the ones you were never attracted to are.

Thanks for clearing that up. This is helpful.

 

[koolcas]

i didnt know there was an official name for the place. the dreadful friendzone. this post makes me smile and hmmm...this post makes me think too. whoever said to just let go and be friends with the guy is correct. btw...why cant a guy and a girl be good friends without feelings involved? i think it can happen.

 

[Ritter]

The friendzone is bullocks. It only exists if you allow it to.

 

[zeroturbulence]

there's more than one zone??

Haha now that I think of it, I think there is! And it might make a good topic.

 

[zeroturbulence]

The friendzone is bullocks. It only exists if you allow it to.

I wish I had that option.

 

[Bea22]

Hmmm.. I actually am a bit clueless when people are interested in me..
I stress friendship first for EVERYONE... Makes me more comfortable I think... If someone were to tell me they were interested, without being my friend first, I would be full of excuses... But if I'm attracted to him, they would be .. achievable hehehe.. he has to work a little eyy
But the friendship zone is a nice place to relax and get to know whether you would like them more or not... and an easy way to .. just remain friends if not...
But talk about cutting if you, yourself, get placed in that zone... I think I have only been in there once or twice and ... I'm still whinging about it..

 

[Jullianna]

a moment of silence please....