But how, I don't really know. But I have noticed that with some women and men, I hit a sort of wall conceptually. Its like they know WHAT they want and how it should LOOK, but they need another person to help them achieve it. Its like they have this picture, and dating or relationships is like seeing which man/woman-puzzle piece fits.
I think for people like me it is a lot simpler and yet different. We see women and its as if whole new worlds of possibility open up.
We don't know what its going to look like, just as long as we get to do it with this one specific person that we love. From that love, we can build the picture, talk about marriage, kids, houses, and life in general. But we explore these things as they come up, as trust is built.
I am never going to say, "I want kids", without knowing who their mother will be. From my experience this has almost been like a language barrier. I'm not going to say, I'm looking for a wife, because that very sentence to me is equally ludicrous. I've played that game before, it doesn't end well *
From my experience, its the difference between a long term, healthy relationship and a flaming disaster. When I don't fit into the picture and I feel the health of the relationship failing, I try to fix it. But, its not a fix type of problem its a foundation problem. Its simply how some people are Oriented.
It makes me feel like they want to be with me, not for me but, for the idea of me. But when they are with me, and I start looking for who they are, outside of the picture, I usually just get error messages or blank stares.
It makes me feel like they don't really want or get ME. They want what being with me would mean to everyone else.
To me it is the equivalent of buying a car, not because YOU like the car but, because everyone else does and it fits the lifestyle and image you wish to portray. Well, I'm not the car you want to buy as a status symbol. I may or may not bring someone fame and fortune. But that isn't why they should want to be with me either. I don't want someone to want to be with me, because its the "Right" thing to do or because I successfully meet their list of criteria.
I know for me. I want to fall in love, with one person. I don't know who she is, or what she is like. I don't know what we will do or how it will go. I don't know when I will see her, or how any of it will work out. But I know she is out there and I'm happy with that.
I want them to choose me, because they want to be with me.
So is this the difference between how men and women are wired or is this something else?
Does anyone agree with me and feel the same way?
I think for people like me it is a lot simpler and yet different. We see women and its as if whole new worlds of possibility open up.
We don't know what its going to look like, just as long as we get to do it with this one specific person that we love. From that love, we can build the picture, talk about marriage, kids, houses, and life in general. But we explore these things as they come up, as trust is built.
I am never going to say, "I want kids", without knowing who their mother will be. From my experience this has almost been like a language barrier. I'm not going to say, I'm looking for a wife, because that very sentence to me is equally ludicrous. I've played that game before, it doesn't end well *
From my experience, its the difference between a long term, healthy relationship and a flaming disaster. When I don't fit into the picture and I feel the health of the relationship failing, I try to fix it. But, its not a fix type of problem its a foundation problem. Its simply how some people are Oriented.
It makes me feel like they want to be with me, not for me but, for the idea of me. But when they are with me, and I start looking for who they are, outside of the picture, I usually just get error messages or blank stares.
It makes me feel like they don't really want or get ME. They want what being with me would mean to everyone else.
To me it is the equivalent of buying a car, not because YOU like the car but, because everyone else does and it fits the lifestyle and image you wish to portray. Well, I'm not the car you want to buy as a status symbol. I may or may not bring someone fame and fortune. But that isn't why they should want to be with me either. I don't want someone to want to be with me, because its the "Right" thing to do or because I successfully meet their list of criteria.
I know for me. I want to fall in love, with one person. I don't know who she is, or what she is like. I don't know what we will do or how it will go. I don't know when I will see her, or how any of it will work out. But I know she is out there and I'm happy with that.
I want them to choose me, because they want to be with me.
So is this the difference between how men and women are wired or is this something else?
Does anyone agree with me and feel the same way?