Some people have a hole in their dream, like the photo Liamson posted. Sometimes it's a photograph in their mind. Sometimes it is actually a life they have already built for themselves.
Some people want to meet someone amazing and see where life takes them. Some people want their lives to change as little as possible and are looking for someone they can shove into the mold, no matter what it does to that someone. Love should never be that selfish. If you try to pair the first person with the second it can (and likely will) be a recipe for disaster.
As was mentioned in the divorced folks thread, people are different. There are different needs and different expectations. When you try and force two people to be together who don't belong together just because they convince themselves that one or both are in love, the result is that one of them will usually end up giving in...and eventually giving up, because only one of them is getting what they need or expected from a relationship. That may not be scriptural, but it is realistic (as many divorced folks can tell you), and it's one reason the divorce rate for Christians is neck-in-neck with the stats of non-Christians...unrealistic expectations.
If you don't want to be a statistic, you'll need to be sure that you and the other person are on the same page. Which are you looking for? Someone to share your life with? Someone to build a future with? Someone to complete the picture in your mind? Someone to fill the hole left by someone else?
The more realistic you can be with yourself, the better off you and those you become involved with will be. The person you are attracted to might not fit your mold or even want to, and vice versa. Being with them would be setting yourself up to fail. We can talk about walking the Christian line and sticking things out for better/for worse (Don't get me wrong. Marriage is FOREVER for me, which is WHY I'm so very cautious) and being a pious martyr in a bad marriage thing all day long, but at the end of the day, when you are considering marrying someone, the closer you can come to being with someone who suits your personality, desires and lifestyle, the better off you will both be.
Some guys look at an attractive Christian women who loves her family, and immediately see her standing in the kitchen making dinner, snuggling by the fire, etc. But what if, in ADDITION TO THOSE THINGS, that woman is challenged by higher things? What if those higher things are God's calling upon her life? Do you make her choose between living the way she knows she is called to and living YOUR dream with her? What will that ultimately do to her? To your relationship with her? To your relationship with God (knowing you are preventing someone else from fulfilling His call)?
Complicated? Not for a lot of people. For some people...yes. Yes, it is. Take a look at the diverse personalities within this forum alone. Would all of them fit well together just because they are Christian singles of the opposite gender and within the appropriate age range? If you think so, I wish you well in developing a life long relationship with someone.
I'm looking at two people in this forum right now who could have an amazing life together and don't even know it. They may never know it because one of them lacks something on the other person's "list".
*sigh*
Some people want to meet someone amazing and see where life takes them. Some people want their lives to change as little as possible and are looking for someone they can shove into the mold, no matter what it does to that someone. Love should never be that selfish. If you try to pair the first person with the second it can (and likely will) be a recipe for disaster.
As was mentioned in the divorced folks thread, people are different. There are different needs and different expectations. When you try and force two people to be together who don't belong together just because they convince themselves that one or both are in love, the result is that one of them will usually end up giving in...and eventually giving up, because only one of them is getting what they need or expected from a relationship. That may not be scriptural, but it is realistic (as many divorced folks can tell you), and it's one reason the divorce rate for Christians is neck-in-neck with the stats of non-Christians...unrealistic expectations.
If you don't want to be a statistic, you'll need to be sure that you and the other person are on the same page. Which are you looking for? Someone to share your life with? Someone to build a future with? Someone to complete the picture in your mind? Someone to fill the hole left by someone else?
The more realistic you can be with yourself, the better off you and those you become involved with will be. The person you are attracted to might not fit your mold or even want to, and vice versa. Being with them would be setting yourself up to fail. We can talk about walking the Christian line and sticking things out for better/for worse (Don't get me wrong. Marriage is FOREVER for me, which is WHY I'm so very cautious) and being a pious martyr in a bad marriage thing all day long, but at the end of the day, when you are considering marrying someone, the closer you can come to being with someone who suits your personality, desires and lifestyle, the better off you will both be.
Some guys look at an attractive Christian women who loves her family, and immediately see her standing in the kitchen making dinner, snuggling by the fire, etc. But what if, in ADDITION TO THOSE THINGS, that woman is challenged by higher things? What if those higher things are God's calling upon her life? Do you make her choose between living the way she knows she is called to and living YOUR dream with her? What will that ultimately do to her? To your relationship with her? To your relationship with God (knowing you are preventing someone else from fulfilling His call)?
Complicated? Not for a lot of people. For some people...yes. Yes, it is. Take a look at the diverse personalities within this forum alone. Would all of them fit well together just because they are Christian singles of the opposite gender and within the appropriate age range? If you think so, I wish you well in developing a life long relationship with someone.
I'm looking at two people in this forum right now who could have an amazing life together and don't even know it. They may never know it because one of them lacks something on the other person's "list".
*sigh*
