Are you in a manipulative or controlling relationship?

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J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
I have found myself in one or two before the light finally came on in my head. I found these sites while looking for something else and, although they are not christian sites, I thought they might be useful to singles re: avoiding these types of relationships. Remember, a controlling man or woman can very easily become an abusive man or woman. Don't become their next victim. :) God bless!

How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship: 11 steps - wikiHow

QUIZ: is it love or control?|Love: the good, the bad and the ugly
 
Elizabeth619

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
#2
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
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#2
I totally should have read up on this stuff 6 years ago.
I was in a controlling and manipulative relationship for 4 years. I didnt see the signs til it was too late, and I was trapped.
 
C

CatWoman

Guest
#3
#3
When I was in high school, a lady from turning point came to talk to us. She said if a person is an abuser that you will see sighns of an abuse within the first 6 months. She also said another sighn of an abusive relationship is if you get married or engaged or move in together with in the first 6 months too.
 
C

CC_Bride

Guest
#4
#4
Dead giveaway for me is a person who seeks to isolate a person from their family, church, and friends.
 
Elizabeth619

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
#5
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
48
#5
CatWoman said:
When I was in high school, a lady from turning point came to talk to us. She said if a person is an abuser that you will see sighns of an abuse within the first 6 months. She also said another sighn of an abusive relationship is if you get married or engaged or move in together with in the first 6 months too.
Click to expand...
EXACTLY what happened to me.

Everything was wonderful and dreamy til I moved in with him after 5 months of being together....then everything changed.

Even his mom told me not to move in with him that he is a jerk
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#6
#6
Thank you so much for sharing, ladies. My prayer is that this will give a lot of young ladies AND GUYS a lot to think about and be alert for.

Elizabeth, you look great in pink :)
 
L

Li_B

Guest
#7
#7
I was with a raging alcoholic. He had both anger and alcoholic problems. I was spat on, hit, choked, my things broken, disrespected, and utterly belittled as a human being. It took me a while to finally realize that I was being manipulated, and that for my safety cut the ties to this man. He's currently in jail for the time he hit me, and is attending AA meetings, going to church, refocusing his mind, and talking to a psychiatrist for his anger and seeking help. He wants him & I to get back together when he straightens all that out, however I feel God placed me in his life to actually show him that he did have a problem with alcohol and rage, so that he would seek help.
 
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Blue3Falcon

Guest
#8
#8
My ex roomate was in one of these, I couldn't stand her boyfriend and I felt like he wasn't good to her, but we weren't really that close so I didn't feel like I could tell her. I feel bad because i think the reason she is blinded to the truth is that she is 23 and its her first boyfriend ever so she wants it to work! I only pray they don't stay together!
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#9
#9
Thank you for sharing. So many people think it will never happen to them, but it does...it happens to guys too.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#10
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#10
I like to control and manipulate other people's relationships.







(I only kidding!)
 
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K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#11
#11
I used to have a really hard time understanding why people would get themselves into these kind of relationships. I thought it should be really obvious when people are controlling and manipulative, but I was very wrong.

I have since found that it is truly hard to get away from these kind of relationships and typically you don't know a person is like this until you really have gotten to know them as a person. I'm not in a romantic relationship like this, but rather a "friendship". I'm finding it really hard to separate myself from this person. I feel like he needs a christian friend, but I shouldn't be that friend. I'm praying about it, but do any of you have suggestions about how I should go about doing this? I have tried to just ignore him.

And thank you for the articles, I think they are great for people to take notice of. :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#12
#12
I totally get the controlling and manipulative friendships. I don't become irritated easily, but I have to admit that someone who takes advantage of my desire to be a loving friend will definitely do it.

If I feel that a friend is attempting to manipulate me or control me in some way, I simple don't allow it or fall for it and leave it up to them whether they can handle that or not. There are times when you may end up having to break ties with someone. Always remember that you are a christian, not a doormat. :) God bless you!
 
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keep_on_smiling

Guest
#13
#13
Jullianna said:
I totally get the controlling and manipulative friendships. I don't become irritated easily, but I have to admit that someone who takes advantage of my desire to be a loving friend will definitely do it.

If I feel that a friend is attempting to manipulate me or control me in some way, I simple don't allow it or fall for it and leave it up to them whether they can handle that or not. There are times when you may end up having to break ties with someone. Always remember that you are a christian, not a doormat. :) God bless you!
Click to expand...
Thank you, that is a good way to look at it. I will have to keep that in mind for when those situations come about again. :)
 
R

rach84

Guest
#14
#14
i was in a controlling relationship for 6years, unfortuantly i had also lost my faith a little too. luckily in the end my husband actually cheated on me which gave me the strength to ask him to leave. i was unable to see much of my family while i was with him and barley had any friends left. i couldn't make decisions on my own, i had become so dependent on him because he had drummed it into me so much that no one else cared for me and with out him i would have no one. he made me believe it was my family who were controlling me! My life has been so much better in the last 3 years than it ever was with him. thank fully i have to beautiful daughters out of it though., and i am now a stronger person and would never let that happen to me again. xx
 
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