Are you really ready?

[grace]

If a man isn't ready to 100% lay his life down for a woman and serve her 100% like Jesus did the church, then he is not ready for a woman.

If a woman isn't 100% ready to submit and respect a man, then she isn't ready for a man.

This is like saying, I am 100% sure that I am going to raise a godly child and protect them from hurts and failures. That I am 100% I will do all theright things @ all the right moments, so I am going to become a parent.

Your statements basically say that marriage does not need forgiveness because it will be perfect, and without hurt or compromise or growth or anything.

I have wanted to be a mother since I was young. I knew I wanted to grow up and experience it! I had no doubt that I would be a good mother.....but most days, I feel totally unprepared. I have to ask my kids to forgive me when I snap at them because they interupted me, I have to sacrafice time that I sometimes don't want to because I have this responsibility that is VERY demanding. Then later I need to spend time with God asking Him for forgiveness and an attitude adjustment.

According to your analasis, I should not be a parent, because I am not 100% ready all the time. (but I was never a parent before I had children...so how could I possibly be 100% ready?)

 

[Rissa77]

Grace, I don't think Stilly meant ready in such a sense of being prepared, but more willing. In that sense, I completely agree. Willingness to sacrifice and lead, and willingness to respect and follow are the keys. They won't be ready in a sense of knowing what to do all the time, but if they're willing to do their best, then they may be ready. I find those two qualities important because one, it's biblical, and two, it's so not what American culture is doing. Men are taught to be passive nice guys, and women are taught to be upfront and independent. Bleh. I don't want to be all independent. I want to follow a man who has the heart of Christ.

 

[Jullianna]

IF YOU EXIST, therefore someone who is just like you must exist too, right?

If you met your equal and opposite equivalent in a person, would you recognize them?

Would you be willing to give them a chance?

If the other person was like me then I would be ready to grow together but, until I find them I won't stop improving myself into the person that I would want someone to fall in love with. I realize that no one is looking for the ideal person but, I'm willing to try and be the absolute most I can be. If nothing else I'm the habits that I want to keep for the rest of my life. The threshold for me is not how much effect these habits have had but, how established these habits have become.

I want to become the kind person that I want to find.

I can see that. We're all changing and growing everyday (or should be if we are yielding to the Lord), prayerfully and hopefully for the better. We aren't the same people we were five years ago and probably won't be the same people we are now five years from now. If Christ takes us in to be His Bride as we are, as seoulsearch alluded to in another thread, with the promise of what we will become in Him, it's truly something to think about...

 

[Jullianna]

Thanks for the summation of da poll, Stilly.

We must be willing to do what the scriptures demand of us. We'll trip and fall from time to time, as we do with so many other things, but we can't give up. I see so many very young people looking for that permanent commitment already. Sometimes it works out that early and sometimes it doesn't. The willingless of both parties is crucial and when folks dive in too soon, the water can be pretty shallow and it's painful for all involved. If Jesus said in several parables that there is a time of preparedness, would it not be important to our marriages in this life as well? Though I do think zero also made an excellent point in another thread re: we get a little too clinical all too often, overthink things, and don't allow love to fill in the gaps while God does the work.

Rissa, I agree. We are strong, intelligent, capable women. That's not diminished in any way by staying out of the way so a man can be a man. I hear women whining all the time about guys not "manning up". But, how many times do you see a guy trying to do exactly that and the very women who say they want that resent it? Can't have it both ways....

 

[thimsrebma]

I have a question about the last poll option "Are you willing to release your singleness to God and see what happens? "

What does this really mean. Does it mean we just sit around and wait or do we need to be actively pursuing a relationship. By thatt I mean putting ourselves in positions to meet more potential mates, dating etc.

I look at it like just about everything else in life. If I want a job I may need some experience or education first and then I have to go out there and apply. I can't sit around and think God is gonna give me a job as Pediatrician just cause I want one. I have to pay some dues first.

I think its also like that in relationships. You have to be built up first. God helps prepare you for the duties as a spouse (education). Then you may have to apply for the job. By that I mean put yourself out there so people know you are available and also see your attributes so they want you.

 

[Liamson]

I have a question about the last poll option "Are you willing to release your singleness to God and see what happens? "

What does this really mean. Does it mean we just sit around and wait or do we need to be actively pursuing a relationship. By thatt I mean putting ourselves in positions to meet more potential mates, dating etc.

I look at it like just about everything else in life. If I want a job I may need some experience or education first and then I have to go out there and apply. I can't sit around and think God is gonna give me a job as Pediatrician just cause I want one. I have to pay some dues first.

I think its also like that in relationships. You have to be built up first. God helps prepare you for the duties as a spouse (education). Then you may have to apply for the job. By that I mean put yourself out there so people know you are available and also see your attributes so they want you.

Very beautiful!

I agree completely.

If I hide in my basement and eat ice cream, God is not going to drag me out, clean me up and then marry me off.

Take Prince Eric from the the little Mermaid. He was actively open to and ready for a relationship.

 

[Jullianna]

I have a question about the last poll option "Are you willing to release your singleness to God and see what happens? "

What does this really mean. Does it mean we just sit around and wait or do we need to be actively pursuing a relationship. By thatt I mean putting ourselves in positions to meet more potential mates, dating etc.

I look at it like just about everything else in life. If I want a job I may need some experience or education first and then I have to go out there and apply. I can't sit around and think God is gonna give me a job as Pediatrician just cause I want one. I have to pay some dues first.

I think its also like that in relationships. You have to be built up first. God helps prepare you for the duties as a spouse (education). Then you may have to apply for the job. By that I mean put yourself out there so people know you are available and also see your attributes so they want you.

Like most things, it probably means different things to different people. I know there are those out there who think they'll wake up with a husband or wife under their pillow some day like he/she came from the tooth fairy, but that's not what it means to me.

I also know that there are men/women who want marriage and family with all of their hearts. I have a lot of lady friends who've dreamt of this all of their lives. I wasn't one of them, but I surely understand wanting something so precious and beautiful. If that's what they want, I see no reason not to be any less proactive about it than you would be about anything else in your life that you truly wanted, as you said. We probably all have our dreams. Unless God says no, there's no reason not to chase them as far as I can see.

God blessed me in that way for a season of my life, but I'm really not sure yet whether I will ever marry again. I don't know if I'm meant to and it's caused me to walk away from some amazing men...and I have my regrets and question some of those choices. It would be great if it happens, but I've had great and sometimes I wonder if God let me have it early because He has other plans for my life than for me to share it with someone else. And sometimes I wonder if I'm standing in my own way cos I'm so darn stubborn. Maybe I'm just scared of loving someone that much again and losing them somehow. Maybe I just need a guy who will grab me by the shoulders and say HEY LADY! YOU'RE WITH ME AND THAT'S THAT! haha

So, to me it means this: God, I'm single and I release that to You and stand ready to be content with Your calling on my life. But I wonder how many of us have what it takes to do that. Don't know if I do yet. So that's why I asked the question.

You are a woman among women, Ms Amber. Any guy who is smart enough to want to be your man is blessed indeed.

 

[Jullianna]

Very beautiful!

I agree completely.

If I hide in my basement and eat ice cream, God is not going to drag me out, clean me up and then marry me off.

Take Prince Eric from the the little Mermaid. He was actively open to and ready for a relationship.

Why do I suddenly picture you with a glass slipper in hand

 

[thimsrebma]

You are a woman among women, Ms Amber. Any guy who is smart enough to want to be your man is blessed indeed.

Aww thats so sweet! You should put a billboard up and annouce that. Maybe then I would get some good suitors. hehehehehe

 

[TheLeftCoastKid]

Define Date...

 

[Jullianna]

Define Date...

Spending time with someone of the opposite gender for the purpose of getting to know them better or just because you like their company. Could be many things - from going for a drive or a walk, to an airshow, to a ballgame, a firing range (a personal favorite haha), to dinner and movie...hiking...renting a video...

I do hear that monster truck events might not be a good idea though haha couldn't resist, grace

 

[grace]

Mhm.....It is funny....now. (it just was'nt then)

 

[Lecrae]

I believe I am ready for dating, and I'm looking for the real deal. God hasn't lead me to her yet however, so I must be patient until she does come.

 

[wolfywolfs]

Im ready for the zombie apocalypse.

go watch the trailer for dead island it makes u regret wanting a zombie apocolyspe

 

[GreenNnice]

What exactly is it that you are looking/praying for? Just someone to date or the real deal? --Julieannie

________I am praying for God's best for my life, I don't think God wants us to pray or look in that way, 'real deal,' or 'to date,' and, if you are Joshua Harris, you definitely would not think this way (wrote book, 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye).'

I am tough on questions sometimes, sorry, JulieAnnie, I love you, man, I mean, 'woman.' (Said with great heart from beer commercials )

Curious, you have red hair, your name here is jullianna, you said you are named something other than 'julianna,' and, with my green mind brimming with thinking as it does I got to thinkin' and thinking, or, thunking, or something like that, and, I was wondering IF you named yourself after an actress, Julianne Moore.

Anyway, she looks like you a little, long hair red, and, that is what I was really ready to say at this moment, sorry if offended. I am JUST green, and, but, of course, nice.

 

[Jullianna]

What exactly is it that you are looking/praying for? Just someone to date or the real deal? --Julieannie

________I am praying for God's best for my life, I don't think God wants us to pray or look in that way, 'real deal,' or 'to date,' and, if you are Joshua Harris, you definitely would not think this way (wrote book, 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye).'

I am tough on questions sometimes, sorry, JulieAnnie, I love you, man, I mean, 'woman.' (Said with great heart from beer commercials )

Curious, you have red hair, your name here is jullianna, you said you are named something other than 'julianna,' and, with my green mind brimming with thinking as it does I got to thinkin' and thinking, or, thunking, or something like that, and, I was wondering IF you named yourself after an actress, Julianne Moore.

Anyway, she looks like you a little, long hair red, and, that is what I was really ready to say at this moment, sorry if offended. I am JUST green, and, but, of course, nice.

We should ALL be asking tough questions in this life. Always feel free to disagree in a godly way. If we all shared a brain it would be boring and if we don't entertain any thoughts other than our own, we would rarely learn.

I'm not much on self help books or study guides. I'd rather read the scriptures and allow God to guide me. I do realize that other people enjoy reading things like that though. Nothing wrong with it as far as I can see, as long as all that they read they wash through the scriptures, right?

You are right. This is not my real name. This name means "sent by God" and I like it. I've always wanted a daughter so that I could name her this, but that hasn't happened so far, so this will have to do.

 

[hpesoj]

I voted or posted answers and do need to marry to not stay single long to also not get into any sins .But I am 47 so I might be stuck with a single life [ seemingly its far better to marry young it almost seems] But I am also looking forward to heaven some day whenever.Our world is too filled with sin to even try to see to find a future mate (probably in the 1980s it was much easier) .There is more sin out of 1000s of closets today seems or that may change soon .Evil times it's harder to find things.What former president Clinton did didn't help our society .But weak ethics in much leadership .If it is not looked down upon to be single too much I may get comfy in the mean time lol / having only a few friends is hard though.