Boyfriend issues
- Thread starter LoneGirl02
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Well if you think of things in reverse it's like when a girl is walking down the street with her boy friend and she see's her boy friend checking out another girl.. A lot of girls will get very upset when they see their bf looking at another girl..
So would a guy get upset about a girl telling them that another guy is equal to them in attractiveness? Everyone wants to feel special in the eyes of the person they have feelings for.. Does not matter if they are a guy or a girl..
So would a guy get upset about a girl telling them that another guy is equal to them in attractiveness? Everyone wants to feel special in the eyes of the person they have feelings for.. Does not matter if they are a guy or a girl..
L
As strange as this may initially sound, your opening comment, especially when coupled with the rest of what you said, seems to reflect a major difference between you and many other people who you will inevitably encounter over the course of your lifetime.
Personally, I'm with you.
I mean, WHO REALLY CARES about something as trivial as if your comments/questions appear in the correct forum?
A HUMAN BEING has something they need to sincerely say/ask, and, therefore, FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS should realize that any place is an acceptable place to say it/ask it, right?
Well, you would think so, but, sad to say, there are a lot of people in this world, "gnat-strainers", if you will, who will seek to find fault in the smallest of things while simultaneously "swallowing a camel" (Matt. 23:24) or while simultaneously ignoring the major issue at hand.
Which brings me to your BOYfriend.
For starters, he sounds exceedingly immature, which is why I capitalized the BOY part in boyfriend.
Furthermore, he sounds very proud and vain, and these are the two "qualities" (?) which led to Satan's downfall:
"Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness: I will cast thee to the ground, I will lay thee before kings, that they may behold thee." (Ezekiel 28:17)
He also sounds very selfish and unforgiving, and if you put all of these character (or lack thereof) traits together, then it sounds like a major and inevitable recipe for disaster.
Unless he's willing to take a good long look at himself (instead of getting so offended with you over something so petty) in order to figure out and remedy the real source of his problems so that genuine healing/change might take place within himself, I'd advise you to run for the hills while leaving him behind.
If he is willing to examine himself and the true source of his own issues in order to remedy the same from within, then you should compassionately and faithfully stick by him and help him to do the same out of genuine care for him.
I mean, I'm a man.
In fact, I'm a man who REGULARLY employs the use of self-deprecating humor because I'm actually very comfortable in my own skin (and I can therefore easily laugh at myself), and I'm also firmly rooted and grounded in the love of Christ. In other words, there's really only one opinion of me which is going to matter in the end, and that is God's opinion. If he loves me, and he does, then does it really matter what others think of me or say about me?
The same needs to ultimately apply to your boyfriend. In other words, he needs to find his worth not so much in himself, but rather in Christ. I'm wont to say that we can determine something's worth by the price someone is willing to pay for it. What is the price that God is willing to pay for us? The precious blood of Jesus Christ.
Anyhow, your boyfriend needs to grow up and ultimately to grow up in Christ.
Again, if he has deep-rooted insecurities, and it seems as if he does, and if he's willing to acknowledge the same while seeking help, especially the type of help which only God can give through Christ, then stick around and help him.
If, however, he's unwilling to change...
On a more personal and related note, I dated someone for 2 1/2 years after my divorce. She used to always tell me that she thought that I was "cute", but then she elaborated on that one day. She told me that I reminded her of a wounded animal. You know, like an animal that maybe got hit by a car and somehow managed to survive. Seeing how I reminded her of the same, she had compassion towards me or, more specifically, towards my physical imperfections which we all have, and even more so as we age.
Now, I could have easily gotten highly offended at that (if I was an insecure diva), but I actually thought that it was "cute" myself. In other words, here was a woman who liked me...my imperfections and all.
It's all really a matter of maturity and perspective...and your boyfriend seems to be sorely lacking in both at the moment.
Just my 2 1/2 cents worth.
P.S.
Don't be surprised (I won't be) if someone (s) "strains at a gnat" in my words here.
You know, like asking "Is it proper to say/ask such and such at a funeral or a wedding?"
Whatever.
I trust that you spotted the "camel" or the major issue that I addressed.
Personally, I'm with you.
I mean, WHO REALLY CARES about something as trivial as if your comments/questions appear in the correct forum?
A HUMAN BEING has something they need to sincerely say/ask, and, therefore, FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS should realize that any place is an acceptable place to say it/ask it, right?
Well, you would think so, but, sad to say, there are a lot of people in this world, "gnat-strainers", if you will, who will seek to find fault in the smallest of things while simultaneously "swallowing a camel" (Matt. 23:24) or while simultaneously ignoring the major issue at hand.
Which brings me to your BOYfriend.
For starters, he sounds exceedingly immature, which is why I capitalized the BOY part in boyfriend.
Furthermore, he sounds very proud and vain, and these are the two "qualities" (?) which led to Satan's downfall:
"Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness: I will cast thee to the ground, I will lay thee before kings, that they may behold thee." (Ezekiel 28:17)
He also sounds very selfish and unforgiving, and if you put all of these character (or lack thereof) traits together, then it sounds like a major and inevitable recipe for disaster.
Unless he's willing to take a good long look at himself (instead of getting so offended with you over something so petty) in order to figure out and remedy the real source of his problems so that genuine healing/change might take place within himself, I'd advise you to run for the hills while leaving him behind.
If he is willing to examine himself and the true source of his own issues in order to remedy the same from within, then you should compassionately and faithfully stick by him and help him to do the same out of genuine care for him.
I mean, I'm a man.
In fact, I'm a man who REGULARLY employs the use of self-deprecating humor because I'm actually very comfortable in my own skin (and I can therefore easily laugh at myself), and I'm also firmly rooted and grounded in the love of Christ. In other words, there's really only one opinion of me which is going to matter in the end, and that is God's opinion. If he loves me, and he does, then does it really matter what others think of me or say about me?
The same needs to ultimately apply to your boyfriend. In other words, he needs to find his worth not so much in himself, but rather in Christ. I'm wont to say that we can determine something's worth by the price someone is willing to pay for it. What is the price that God is willing to pay for us? The precious blood of Jesus Christ.
Anyhow, your boyfriend needs to grow up and ultimately to grow up in Christ.
Again, if he has deep-rooted insecurities, and it seems as if he does, and if he's willing to acknowledge the same while seeking help, especially the type of help which only God can give through Christ, then stick around and help him.
If, however, he's unwilling to change...
On a more personal and related note, I dated someone for 2 1/2 years after my divorce. She used to always tell me that she thought that I was "cute", but then she elaborated on that one day. She told me that I reminded her of a wounded animal. You know, like an animal that maybe got hit by a car and somehow managed to survive. Seeing how I reminded her of the same, she had compassion towards me or, more specifically, towards my physical imperfections which we all have, and even more so as we age.
Now, I could have easily gotten highly offended at that (if I was an insecure diva), but I actually thought that it was "cute" myself. In other words, here was a woman who liked me...my imperfections and all.
It's all really a matter of maturity and perspective...and your boyfriend seems to be sorely lacking in both at the moment.
Just my 2 1/2 cents worth.
P.S.
Don't be surprised (I won't be) if someone (s) "strains at a gnat" in my words here.
You know, like asking "Is it proper to say/ask such and such at a funeral or a wedding?"
Whatever.
I trust that you spotted the "camel" or the major issue that I addressed.
L
How could a normal person vote for a Supreme Court nominee after she said something like that?
Seems like there was no intelligent life present in that.
Seems like there was no intelligent life present in that.
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Overreactions like that are normal in relationships, especially immature relationships, and it's because of insecurities. Your boyfriend lacks confidence and feels the need to record his argument with his friend about who is more handsome. He showed you the video looking for validation and didn't get it. He's probably a bit angry and jealous. Just try to support him as much as possible.
