This is a very hard thing, and everyone handles these Breakup situations differently, depending on the Reason to choose to go seperate ways may be a pleasure and in agreement on both sides, to even the extend of reasons you have given us. After these breakups again, different people will handle these sorts of situations that if they can not handle there loos will kill themselfs.
In your case you have your own personality, what works for one, might not work for the other. Listen and pay attention to all the advices these posts will bring you and consider them if you believe its good and wise in your eyes and the eyes of Jesus Christ.
on my part what could i say, taking from your post your thoughts at the moment are all busy trying to the Clue the Hints or anything that you have missed that should of given you the sign that he was gay, wich sounds to me that your Mind, your Thoughts, even your Soul is being Consumed by these Meditations, and the State of your Heart should not look good as well.
Every Christian should learn to lean on Jesus Christ with all there Hearts and Thoughts, unfortunatly this must be Learned and the Proccess might be excelerated by Prayers and the Hearing of your Prayers by the Lord Jesus Christ. This takes time, learning to lean your throughts on him, his name or the cross, then your heart and soul is without Jesus Christ Divine intervention impossible.
Do this and through should notice a change within yourself within days or 1 week. Read as much of the Bible as you Desire i would recommend 5-10 chapters a day or more, this will help you, your Thoughts and Mediation will then try to find answers of what you have read in the bible instead of the clues or hints that you are searching for on your ex. Your thoughts will be filled with the worrys and glory, trouble and praise, the victories and power of God and his People in the Scripture, those meditation and mind set is healthy, it will point you directly to Jesus Christ. Even now i may say Departing of the Sea by Gods Hands, and for a glimps your mind set created and image your thoughts even for a second focused on how it would look like.
Then Pray 3 times a Day, at the moment do not pray for anything less then for Patients, for it will take time and you must be patient with yourself and Jesus Christ. Daniel Prayed 3 Times a Day although he had a full schedual working for the King of Babylon, 3 times a Day infront of an Open Window. This will highly increase your Spirituality conversing with the Lord Jesus Christ 3 times a day.
Be Patient with yourself, through the Grace of Jesus Christ, for he has given you the Holy Spirit and Blessings, for without them Reading the Bible would only serve if man chooses as a Book of Laws, and wich is better find Wisdom. But because you Believe reading even here and some there, the Holy Spirit will Jump start your Spirituality. Then wenn you are set, in peace in Jesus Christ, sound mind, calmness and without troubles if you still Desire, pray that Jesus Christ will then answer any Questions that concernce your past with your Ex.
Grace of Jesus Christ and willing to Help you is the Key.
