Bringing back my purity

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DoubtingSam

Guest
#41
There's lusting, and then there is having sex outside of marriage and trying to turn back time as if it didn't happen. Making it clear that isn't going to happen isn't overstating anything.
Give me the girl who's had many partners and loves mercy over the self-righteous virgin anyday.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,257
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#42
Give me the girl who's had many partners and loves mercy over the self-righteous virgin anyday.
I'm still holding out for the best of both worlds. :rolleyes:

*ducks and runs for cover before anybody can find stones to throw
 
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Ugly

Guest
#43
Give me the girl who's had many partners and loves mercy over the self-righteous virgin anyday.
So virgin = self righteous.. Slept around = merciful..
Hear that ladies? If you're a virgin you're apparently self righteous. Grab this guy before another woman beats you to it!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,257
9,305
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#44
Uh... actually DoubtingSam never said that. He said if a choice between two options, he would take one of them. He never even hinted that the two options precluded a third.
 
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DoubtingSam

Guest
#45
So virgin = self righteous.. Slept around = merciful..
Hear that ladies? If you're a virgin you're apparently self righteous. Grab this guy before another woman beats you to it!
Not what I meant exactly, I can only go by my own experience. I was a virgin for a long time with ample opportunities. I'm no Tim Tebow but I held out for a long time. And I was probably judgmental at that point in my life towards others. I would have probably held that against a girl if I had met a non-virgin. I'm still single, and the longer I live, the more I realize that nobody is sexually pure. Sexual purity is hard for married people, let alone single people with no legitimate outlet for their God given desires. I don't have any perversions, I know for a fact my desires are pure and intended by God. I like the view from here better, where flawed people can be loved and accepted, myself included.
 
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DoubtingSam

Guest
#46
Uh... actually DoubtingSam never said that. He said if a choice between two options, he would take one of them. He never even hinted that the two options precluded a third.
At my age, I'd settle for a woman that's never been married. Yes, I would have loved to have remained a virgin and married a virgin. That would be one great wedding night and so beautiful. But very few will experience that.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#47
P

You experienced something new. You grew a little. Congratulations.

All I can say is that I hope you continue to learn to be you.
There is nothing to congratulate,and I cant believe a person would say that to a young person. smh
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#48
I don't know anything about regaining your purity. But, I do know how unique each of our life experiences are.

All I can say is that I hope you learn from your current hardship and that I want to encourage you to be you no matter what anyone else says.

Continue to grow. Continue to fight. Stay strong no matter how life feels.

Now this is better advice...
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,257
9,305
113
#50
So virgin = self righteous.. Slept around = merciful..
Hear that ladies? If you're a virgin you're apparently self righteous. Grab this guy before another woman beats you to it!
There is nothing to congratulate,and I cant believe a person would say that to a young person. smh
​Ummmmm...don't see anyone saying that. You should have stuck with your last advice.
You know, there are some friends of mine who don't come around the forum anymore. They said something about every time they try to say anything here, people are ready and waiting to pounce on anything they say and rip it to shreds. Of course that's silly, why would they think that? :rolleyes:


:(
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#51
You know, there are some friends of mine who don't come around the forum anymore. They said something about every time they try to say anything here, people are ready and waiting to pounce on anything they say and rip it to shreds. Of course that's silly, why would they think that? :rolleyes:


:(
Well as usual I see advice that is little use to the OP. People go hard to one side and then the other and no one comes down the middle, and if they do the opposing sides keep giving worse advice until the OP is totally confused. You dont congratulate someone for having sex before marriage, but you dont put a burden on them they can never recover from either. No one said "stone her" and that was just absurd to post that.

It comes down to this,she made a mistake. Now that she has opened that door it will be very hard to remain pure. God will forgive her,yes . A man looking for purity may not be interested now, but if she is honest with him he may look past it. All that being said it's important that she is more careful and thinks harder about the decisions she is making. It's easier to fall then young people think. And once you give yourself away to a person you loose a little piece of yourself. She needs to be very careful if she wants to remain pure till marriage.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
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#52
I think you are overemphasizing it, honestly. David, a man after God's own heart, saw a married woman in a hot tub, seduced her, impregnated her, and had her husband killed. He spent the rest of his life in this relationship that the Bible calls an adulterous relationship. Nobody is sexually pure without the blood of Christ.
And the way David's life and family went after the Bathsheba incident should be ample warning for anyone who thinks that they can have their private little sinful moment without consequences. From the point of Bathsheba on David's family was messed up and dysfunctional and I'd have to think that there's a point in scripture being recorded that way.
 
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DoubtingSam

Guest
#53
And the way David's life and family went after the Bathsheba incident should be ample warning for anyone who thinks that they can have their private little sinful moment without consequences. From the point of Bathsheba on David's family was messed up and dysfunctional and I'd have to think that there's a point in scripture being recorded that way.
Agree.....but I also think that it's proof that God does not use perfect people. He uses sinners. And he loves them. Yes, the Bible very clearly states that David's relationship with Bathsheba was adultery, and the years after the initial adultery were also adultery. But David was still called a man after God's own heart......I think that indicates that he was particularly special. And also very ordinary.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,257
9,305
113
#54
And the way David's life and family went after the Bathsheba incident should be ample warning for anyone who thinks that they can have their private little sinful moment without consequences. From the point of Bathsheba on David's family was messed up and dysfunctional and I'd have to think that there's a point in scripture being recorded that way.
Yes and this is something that should be kept in mind in any sin. If I robbed a bank and later repented and asked God to forgive me I would be forgiven... but there would be some prison time. That doesn't mean God didn't forgive me, that's just a natural consequence of my actions.

Somewhere down the line there might be some results of your sin. That doesn't mean you are not pure in God's sight, and it certainly doesn't mean you might as well give up. But you should be aware that some results might come down the line. Sin is like that, bites you when you're not expecting it.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#55
Agree.....but I also think that it's proof that God does not use perfect people. He uses sinners. And he loves them. Yes, the Bible very clearly states that David's relationship with Bathsheba was adultery, and the years after the initial adultery were also adultery. But David was still called a man after God's own heart......I think that indicates that he was particularly special. And also very ordinary.
Please tell me where you see this stated clearly in the Bible. I see the opposite as Bathsheba received special protection from David in several subsequent instances and it was her son who was David's successor. Forgiveness is forgiveness, and in David's defense he did try to make things right by marrying Bathsheba after getting her pregnant and sticking by her till he died (though I always wonder what would have happened if David had confessed to Uriah instead of sending him back to battle to be killed).
 
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MollyConnor

Guest
#56
Hell0, ummm im not sure exactly on what to do but here it goes....
2 years ago I lost my virginty to a guy i was dating for a year. I thought he would be the one I would marry but we just recently boke uo after 3 years of a relationship. I am wanting to become pure again and wait to have sex again until marriage. How would I do that?
Casie, I am so sorry you went through that. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. You're so young, you have your whole life ahead of you, dear. Please remember that Jesus loves you and if you have asked for forgiveness, he has already forgiven your sin.

True, you can never be a virgin again, but that doesn't mean you can't find happiness and joy. Most people (even the Christian ones), don't wait for marriage anymore. It's sad, but it shouldn't discourage you to try harder next time. Honestly, I would advise you to not go out with boys anytime soon. You've already had it and I can imagine it would be very difficult to stop now. So try to stay away from boys for a few years, if you really want to wait. I think you need to focus on yourself and your relationship with God for now.

I also recommend you read a book called "And the Bride Wore White" by Dannah Gresh. I read it and I think it's great. I especially like that she gives advice to those who have waited till marriage and those who have made the mistake of having premarital sex. Her book helped me realize I had a pride problem because I am a virgin. So even virgins are sinful people. And pride is just as bad of a sin as premarital sex...maybe even worse.

I think you would really like Dannah Gresh because she herself is open about the fact that she made the mistake of having premarital sex. She is now married to a great guy and has a beautiful family. I know that God can heal you and do the same for you.

Finally, I wanted to point out to you that none of us are pure. Only Christ is pure. We are all sinners like Moses, Jacob, David, Judas and Paul to name a few. Even Mary, Jesus' mother was a sinner. Don't think that just because someone is a virgin, they are pure. That's far from the truth. True purity is found only in the sinless and that's our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I'll be praying for you, sister!
 
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DoubtingSam

Guest
#57
Please tell me where you see this stated clearly in the Bible. I see the opposite as Bathsheba received special protection from David in several subsequent instances and it was her son who was David's successor. Forgiveness is forgiveness, and in David's defense he did try to make things right by marrying Bathsheba after getting her pregnant and sticking by her till he died (though I always wonder what would have happened if David had confessed to Uriah instead of sending him back to battle to be killed).
Luke 16:18, except that it's worse than that, because David not only stole his wife, he had him killed. My point is not that David was continually in sin for those years. Just that it was an adulterous relationship that God purified.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#58
Casie, I am so sorry you went through that. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. You're so young, you have your whole life ahead of you, dear. Please remember that Jesus loves you and if you have asked for forgiveness, he has already forgiven your sin.

True, you can never be a virgin again, but that doesn't mean you can't find happiness and joy. Most people (even the Christian ones), don't wait for marriage anymore. It's sad, but it shouldn't discourage you to try harder next time. Honestly, I would advise you to not go out with boys anytime soon. You've already had it and I can imagine it would be very difficult to stop now. So try to stay away from boys for a few years, if you really want to wait. I think you need to focus on yourself and your relationship with God for now.

I also recommend you read a book called "And the Bride Wore White" by Dannah Gresh. I read it and I think it's great. I especially like that she gives advice to those who have waited till marriage and those who have made the mistake of having premarital sex. Her book helped me realize I had a pride problem because I am a virgin. So even virgins are sinful people. And pride is just as bad of a sin as premarital sex...maybe even worse.

I think you would really like Dannah Gresh because she herself is open about the fact that she made the mistake of having premarital sex. She is now married to a great guy and has a beautiful family. I know that God can heal you and do the same for you.

Finally, I wanted to point out to you that none of us are pure. Only Christ is pure. We are all sinners like Moses, Jacob, David, Judas and Paul to name a few. Even Mary, Jesus' mother was a sinner. Don't think that just because someone is a virgin, they are pure. That's far from the truth. True purity is found only in the sinless and that's our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I'll be praying for you, sister!


What an excellent post! While I thank you for the rep, I think your post is much more deserving. Very well said.
 
May 26, 2016
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#59
Luke 16:18, except that it's worse than that, because David not only stole his wife, he had him killed. My point is not that David was continually in sin for those years. Just that it was an adulterous relationship that God purified.
He was not continually in sin. He killed him. If he had stayed alive he couldn't have married her.
David was conceived in sin himself btw. Guess the way his brothers treated him he didn't have the same mother. You see it going through the generations, with Absalom and Amnon and Salomon had too many wives who lead him to their gods.
 
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DoubtingSam

Guest
#60
He was not continually in sin. He killed him. If he had stayed alive he couldn't have married her.
David was conceived in sin himself btw. Guess the way his brothers treated him he didn't have the same mother. You see it going through the generations, with Absalom and Amnon and Salomon had too many wives who lead him to their gods.
Are you really going to make the argument that if Uriah had stayed alive, then it wouldn't have been okay to marry Bathsheba, but that because he committed basically what amounts to murder on top of adultery, then it was okay for God to bless? No. It was wrong on all accounts and was not God's plan. But he used the sinfulness of David anyway and blessed a relationship was adulterous.