Chosing to pursue a single mother

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momof3blessings

momof3blessings

Junior Member
#21
Aug 1, 2013
20
0
0
#21
Catlynn said:
So are we single mothers just supposed to stay single then? Because it's too scary/messy/difficult/complicated? I understand you're all trying to make sure this guy is aware of both sides, but oh my gosh! Maybe try being a wee bit more positive and maybe a little sensitive to the single moms of this forum. :/ I shouldn't be and am not usually so easily offended....but this thread is hard for me for some reason. Sorry if I seem harsh.
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My 2 cents.. and I am a single mom.. ;) In my case my ex husband had an adultery problem, and chose not to stick around when he found the latest "catch". There are a lot of wonderful single moms out there who are single moms through no fault of their own.. who long for that someone to love them and their kids, and accept them for who they are. It may not be the easiest route, but there are some amazing women that are passed over because they are a mom..

I have three amazing children 10,13 and 15. I have chosen unless I hear a "thus saith the Lord" about a guy, that I will remain single and not even be waiting for another husband until my kids are grown. They are my main responsibility for now.. But it is not wrong to want that.. It is a lonely road sometimes...

My main point.. There are single moms who are amazing.. and worth the "fight".. :)
 
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Catlynn

Guest
#22
#22
mystdancer50 said:
Sorry. :) I was trying to be positive, because I do believe there is great value and strength in single mothers and fathers. Did I come across as positive in my responses? Let me know, because if I didn't, I'd like to be aware of what could be seen as hurtful so that I don't word responses the same way in the future. :)
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No worries!

Ugly said:
All i was getting at is his mindset seemed to be casual, as if it were such an easy thing. I didn't read any other responses. I just tried to caution him that it can be more complicated than he made it sound. Not to discourage the idea, but to be more aware and wise of the potential problems that can arise. I think it's great when a single parent can find someone to marry and be a parent to their child. But it needs to be handled right, and that can't happen if you don't have an awareness of the potential problems that can, and often do, arise.
My own family was mixed, with my father marrying my mother when she had three kids already. All in all in was pretty successful. But the reality is this is not the norm. More often than not there are plenty of issues and conflicts. This may be do to the parent, whether a mother or father, not handling the situation better with their kids. I don't know.
I'm assuming most here, and at the very least myself, were only making someone aware of issues he may not have thought through. I don't think it was against the single parent, but more of trying to impart knowledge to someone who came across not having it.
And this knowledge may be good for the single parent too. I was passing along what i have experience myself, as well as what i've heard from others.

This thread seems the same as most threads. A person with a question or comment, and lots of people chiming in with the same basic responses. Just that this particular subject was more personal to you, so you are likely more sensitive to this. But the same thing goes on constantly here. It may help to ease some of your offended feelings to keep that perspective.
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It's ok, Ugly. I know your intentions were good and you were just trying to make sure this guy had a balanced view of the situation. :)




Stuey said:
This is a bit off topic, but from what I've seen here you seem like you have a genuine and deep love for God. :) I've been impressed by your maturity in many of the things I've seen. - I pray God continues helping you to be a terrific mother & maybe even gives you a husband who will love your child as you love do one day. (one day soon? haha)
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haha who knows? Thank you very much!


Really everyone, I went away to pray about why I had such an intense reaction to this thread (I'm pretty mellow and not easily offended at all.) and realized that it didn't have so much to do with me as with other single mothers who I've seen around the forums, some who haven't even had their beautiful baby yet. Becoming a single mom is one of the scariest things ever! Sure everyone has sinned and God forgives those sins and wipes our slates clean, but as a single mother, our children are a constant reminder to all, that we have sinned. Even though God has turned it around for good, He's healed me and grown me in so many ways, I still get funny looks from people, I still have to deal with her "other family", I still have to trust God to fill in the gaps where I may be lacking. In the beginning EVERYthing was unstable. My emotions, my walk with God, my relationships with the people who I was afraid were looking down on me. It's a BIG life adjustment and quite a difficult transition time into a completely new and slightly more difficult life. I'm absolutely convinced that one of the biggest reasons why I came out of it the way that I did and so much stronger is because I was able to surround myself with a small community who completely loved and supported me in every way and they love God.
My point with all of this is simply to say, please be aware of the many single moms hanging around here and be aware that many of them are probably in a very very difficult, delicate, and emotional place in their lives. So much negativity can crush the spirit, ya know?
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
#23
#23
Catlyn - sometimes I think we're all in each other's pockets a little too much you know, but in this case I appreciate your candor and the well said way you expressed it. God speed.
 
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Catlynn

Guest
#24
#24
:)

I wasn't trying to complain or string out a sob story. Just trying to make people aware is all. Sorry if I came across harshly or bitter or anything like that. I love my daughter and I love where God has us and that He's using my mistake to help so many other people. :D
 
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Ugly

Guest
#25
#25
Catlynn said:
:)

I wasn't trying to complain or string out a sob story. Just trying to make people aware is all. Sorry if I came across harshly or bitter or anything like that. I love my daughter and I love where God has us and that He's using my mistake to help so many other people. :D
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Didn't come across that way. You made a valid point.
 
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