Christian folks; how do you handle rejection ?

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notonmywatch

Guest
#41
#41
Gojira said:
Her reaction sounds neurotic to me. It's like she was almost scared or something. "Hey... didn't mean to be a cross to your vampire!"
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I found your response interesting. Actually, I do believe that she was scared in the sense that she told me all of these different things that she was looking for in a man or, actually, in a prospective husband. Although I apparently didn't check certain boxes, she liked me, and we definitely had some sort of connection, and she actually seemed angry that she liked me. In one conversation, she actually told me that marrying for love is BS. I don't want to quote her out of context, but part of that definitely sounded as if she was willing to enter into a loveless marriage someday as long as her prospective husband checked certain other boxes.

Anyway, I really don't want to misrepresent her. She was actually quite nice, intelligent, and somebody who I respect, so I'm not seeking to bad-mouth her in any manner. Btw, she was a Filipina. I think that you mentioned somewhere that your wife was a Filipina. I'm sorry for your loss. I know that that might sound insincere, but I've lost loved ones before, so I have some idea of how devastating that must be for you. I've only met three Filipina women in my life, and they were all very nice and very different from other women that I've met. I think that I might have been born in the wrong country. She's actually in the Philippines right now. She flew out there on the 16th so she could celebrate her birthday, which is tomorrow, and the holidays with family and friends.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#42
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#42
Am not sure what the deal is with Filipino women here.

They seem to have a reputation for online dating and international marriages, much like Ukrainian women. Shortage of men in their own country?
 
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Gojira

Guest
#43
#43
notonmywatch said:
I found your response interesting. Actually, I do believe that she was scared in the sense that she told me all of these different things that she was looking for in a man or, actually, in a prospective husband. Although I apparently didn't check certain boxes, she liked me, and we definitely had some sort of connection, and she actually seemed angry that she liked me. In one conversation, she actually told me that marrying for love is BS. I don't want to quote her out of context, but part of that definitely sounded as if she was willing to enter into a loveless marriage someday as long as her prospective husband checked certain other boxes.

Anyway, I really don't want to misrepresent her. She was actually quite nice, intelligent, and somebody who I respect, so I'm not seeking to bad-mouth her in any manner. Btw, she was a Filipina. I think that you mentioned somewhere that your wife was a Filipina. I'm sorry for your loss. I know that that might sound insincere, but I've lost loved ones before, so I have some idea of how devastating that must be for you. I've only met three Filipina women in my life, and they were all very nice and very different from other women that I've met. I think that I might have been born in the wrong country. She's actually in the Philippines right now. She flew out there on the 16th so she could celebrate her birthday, which is tomorrow, and the holidays with family and friends.
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Ya know, on that loveless marriage thing...

I heard a caller on the Dennis Prager some years back who called to tell Dennis that he was not deeply in love with the woman he married. She was a friend, someone he respected, and he felt she'd make a great mother to his children. They agreed to get married.

I do not know how long they were married when the caller called the show, but he said that they had few kids and things were going very well.

Thank you for the condolences. Yeah, it was some time ago (2009). Took me almost two years to feel ready for remarriage. Unfortunately, it seems God had other plans.

BTW... I like the Philippine women too. They're often beautiful, and (generally) seem to be very marriage-minded.
 
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notonmywatch

Guest
#44
#44
Gojira said:
Ya know, on that loveless marriage thing...

I heard a caller on the Dennis Prager some years back who called to tell Dennis that he was not deeply in love with the woman he married. She was a friend, someone he respected, and he felt she'd make a great mother to his children. They agreed to get married.

I do not know how long they were married when the caller called the show, but he said that they had few kids and things were going very well.

Thank you for the condolences. Yeah, it was some time ago (2009). Took me almost two years to feel ready for remarriage. Unfortunately, it seems God had other plans.

BTW... I like the Philippine women too. They're often beautiful, and (generally) seem to be very marriage-minded.
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No more loveless relationships for me.


Unlike the lyrics of this song, I'm alone, but not really lonely. I'd rather be by myself, if God so desires it, than be with the wrong person.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#45
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#45
shunning is a christian thing apparently....!

Theres even a sect called the 'exclusive brethren'
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#46
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#46
solution...start another group called the 'exclusive sisterns'
 
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Gojira

Guest
#47
#47
notonmywatch said:
Unlike the lyrics of this song, I'm alone, but not really lonely. I'd rather be by myself, if God so desires it, than be with the wrong person.
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I know two Christians in really bad marriages. I agree with you.
 
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notonmywatch

Guest
#48
#48
Gojira said:
I know two Christians in really bad marriages.
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I'm sorry to hear that. If Christians can't find true love, then who can? It's certainly avoided me, even though I always try to give it myself.

I trust that we've all gotten Divine revelation at times while reading our Bibles, and there have been a couple of times when the revelation that I received was definitely a lot deeper than the other times. One of them was shortly after I got saved. I was reading the book of 1John, and of how we've been given a new commandment, which isn't really a new commandment, but a commandment that we had from the beginning. Of course, that commandment is to love one another. So, I was really meditating on that, and then I came to this verse:

1John 3:13
Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hate you.

It was honestly as if my brain cramped. I was like, "What?" I'm commanded to love others while not marveling if the world hates me back in return?

That's kind of been my lot in life, and, in retrospect, it seems as if God was seeking to prepare me for it way back then. Thankfully, I know that God loves me, and that love has sustained me. I posted the lyrics to a song that says "I don't care what they say, I won't stay in a world without love". To a large degree, that's the world that I/we presently live in, especially in relation to the type of love that God actually ordained. In many ways, I look forward to the world which is to come, but it saddens me that marriage won't be a part of that world, except the union between Christ and his bride. I would happily spend eternity with the type of woman I know that God ordained, but I guess not.

Back to trying to win souls.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#49
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#49
what kind of love are you after?

If you are talking True Love, dont you mean agape or aroha love.

Married love is not agape, you have to make a vow for that. It comes with bondage and conditions.
 
G00WZ

G00WZ

Senior Member
#50
May 16, 2014
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#50
I don't mind it, 1 rejection from a person doesn't matter to the 1000000 accepts that i give to everyone else.
Ignore the weeds but stay planting the seeds.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#51
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#51
when job hunting or auditioning its often rejection after rejection so you kind of get used to it buts its not a pleasant experience!

Jesus said to those who wont accept what you have to say just shake the dust of your feet and go on to the next. There were many times as a babe in Christ when I cast my pearls before swine and wondered why they werent taking them up lol
 
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Gojira

Guest
#52
#52
notonmywatch said:
but it saddens me that marriage won't be a part of that world, except the union between Christ and his bride. I would happily spend eternity with the type of woman I know that God ordained, but I guess not.
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Bro I hear you on this. I feel the same way. But, I guess that's where faith comes in -- believing that God's imagination in being able to provide a life for His people surpasses anything we can imagine.
 
Sculpt

Sculpt

Well-known member
#53
Apr 18, 2021
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#53
notonmywatch said:
In one conversation, she actually told me that marrying for love is BS. I don't want to quote her out of context, but part of that definitely sounded as if she was willing to enter into a loveless marriage someday as long as her prospective husband checked certain other boxes.
Click to expand...
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#57
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
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#57
yinkbell said:
As a young believer who desires to have a suitor and you have experienced all kinds of rejection from the ladies you intend to ask out, how do you manage this situation?
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1. Do not expect rejection but acceptance.

2. Know who you are dealing with.

3. Know yourself.

4. Have faith in God.

When Abraham sent his servant to fetch a wife for Isaac, the servant went with the full assurance that he would not be rejected, nor would his master or his master's son. And he succeeded. He also had something of value to offer Rebekah.
 
RyanSundstrom

RyanSundstrom

Member
#58
Jan 22, 2023
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#58
I just put on a sad song, I cry in my room with the lights off, and put on a face that I won’t show anyone
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#59
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#59
my last rejection for a job I just said Ok all the best for your future (librarian)

or...good luck.

my sister says you should ask them why they reject you. Im like are you kidding why would I want to know WHY anyone rejects you.

They could say anything. And it wont be nice. They could say well she smelled bad or something. Or I didnt like what colour shoes she wore. Or whatever. You dont what to know all that. Your not the best, you are second and ....we dont want you. BYE
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#60
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#60
I forgot this was a man thread

I think the best thing for a man to do is ask the next lady out. Dont get too upset if you keep getting rejected, it just means someone else might be the lucky receipient of your affections.

Kind of like buying raffle tickets. if you dont win the first time does that mean you just stop buying raffle tickets?

hmm but this also means you must have plenty of spare cash at your disposal.....but then whoever believes that marriage etc is anything but what it is...an expensive undertaking.
 
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